Page 75 of Captivating the Countess
Bell hated driving away her sister, but she really needed to find herself again. This business of letting apparitions take over was physically as well as mentally draining. She didn’t think she could do it often, although after tonight... She might have to flee to distant Craigmore simply to escape the notoriety.
With Button’s help, Bell undressed, but she wasn’t ready for bed yet. After sending the maid to her room, she sat with her slippered feet up by the dying fire, enjoying the luxury Rain had provided for her. She had to love the man if only for his understanding of her need for this privacy.
She wasn’t entirely certain what she’d done this evening or if she could ever do it again. She prayed the ghostly duchess would depart now that the duke was recovering and a potential killer had been unmasked. A little normality would be nice.
Then Bell could settle into her task of steward, have lovely conversations with Rainford’s sisters—who would be returning to their own homes if the duke recovered. Even Alicia was likely to leave for London come spring.
Leaving Bell alone with Rain.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be his mistress and watch him marry another.
She couldn’t enter into a loveless marriage just because he needed a wife.
She wanted to believe he might heal her faintheartedness, but the chances were slim. How much of herself would she lose if she stayed in hopes he could heal her? After this evening, she feared she didn’t have much of herself left to lose. It would only grow worse with time if she stayed here.
She should go home with Iona and her husband. With Gerard’s Aunt Winifred gone, the earl didn’t have a household steward. Bell could handle his books. There would be other Malcolms about. She might learn to control the spirits haunting her from the safety of company who understood.
She had choices. She simply had to make them.
When Rainford scratched at the door of her suite some time later, Bell wrapped up in her robe and answered before he could wake Button.
The normally elegant marquess looked exhausted and half drunk. He smelled faintly of whiskey and had unfastened his coat and loosened his cravat. Even though he’d shaved for dinner, he still had a stubble shadowing his luscious cheekbones. His fair hair fell over his forehead as if he’d drawn his fingers through it repeatedly.
“If you weren’t so well tailored, you’d look like a sot,” she said, unable to hide a smile at seeing this side of him. Her heart ached for him, but she’d had years of experience in shielding it.
Rainford didn’t smile back. “I needed to know you’re well. I’ve spent these last hours terrified I’d find you comatose again. May I come in?” He propped his arm against the door jamb as if unable to stand on his own.
Her well-shielded heart lurched, but Bell shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m tired. Button may not be asleep. Has everything been settled to your satisfaction?”
“No, and I doubt it ever will be. That’s not how this household operates. But none of that matters if I know you’re well.” He bent over and kissed her.
Her heart nearly broke knowing she’d have to give up his passion if she left. He had responsibilities that required a bride she couldn’t be.
He’d promised to marry her, but she’d seen the results of a marriage made without love. And if he regretted their impetuousness when she didn’t bear him a son, he’d learn to resent her. She didn’t want that for herself. Her freedom was too precious.
So she kissed him, then gently pushed him from the door, closed, and locked it.
Twenty-seven
Lookinglike a man condemned to death, Teddy traveled with the Earl of Ives and Lady Pamela to York the next morning. Of course, Rain observed, Teddy hadn’t seen the morning sun in years and certainly not after drowning in a bottle of whiskey, so he mightfeellike death.
Perhaps the family should have spent more time looking for a sensible heiress for Teddy instead of one for Rain. He’d have to ask his sisters to arrange something.
After being turned from Bell’s door last night, he couldn’t concentrate. Bell was too sensitive to his family’s feelings to agree to be his mistress, but how did he convince hisstewardto be his wife? She’d already turned him down twice. How the hell did he convince her she was the only woman he wanted? Make a romantic proposal over bookkeeping journals? While preventing his interfering household from interfering?
Unable to work when his mind was elsewhere, Rain went up to visit his father. The duke was in the process of bullying his valet into dressing him. The servant looked relieved at Rain’s entrance.
“You are not leaving this suite,” Rain ordered without bothering to ask what his father was doing. “You’re not carrying enough weight to be certain you won’t undo everything we’ve done. And I have no assurance I can do it again.”
“I’m tired of these four walls. Where is Bell? Where is everyone? What the hell happened last night?” The duke grudgingly allowed the valet to slip a dressing robe over his shirt and trousers.
“Alicia hasn’t been in to tell you everything with much drama and a few musicians?” Rain accepted an offer of tea and sat down to force the duke to do the same.
“Word is that she’s writing an opera.” The duke’s voice was dry enough to roast chestnuts. “Could we have Bell summon your mother’s spirit and ask if Alicia is really mine?”
Rain knew his father was being facetious. The duchess had doted on him and died bearing Alicia. His youngest sister had been spoiled since birth as a consequence. “Our mother’s side of the family includes an aunt who traveled alone to Egypt and an uncle who composed music for Vauxhall. She’s one of us without a doubt. Alicia has very little purpose for her gift of persuasion and merely seeks creative outlets.”
The duke hmphed and nibbled a scone placed on the tray to tempt him. “If they’re all avoiding me, thensomethinghappened.”
