Page 17 of Thirsty
May 19
Dear Wise Old Crone,
My only son is bringing a girl home next month. We’re all very excited because he’s quite shy and hasn’t dated a lot; but he’s been so happy ever since he started this relationship, and we’re thrilled for him. Because of all that, their visit feels very high-stakes—we really want his new girlfriend to feel welcome in our home!
But I’m terribly nervous because his girlfriend is a banshee, and I don’t know what that means for our hosting her. Do we need to prepare in any particular way? What should I expect? I’m so nervous that I’m going to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing while she’s here, and somehow make her feel unwelcome. The last thing I want is to mess up my son’s relationship, or, even worse, cause a rift between us! What can I do to prepare and set my mind at ease?
Sincerely,
Harried Hostess
Dear Hostess,
First, breathe—plenty of relationships have weathered awkward first meetings between partner and parents. Even if everything does go comically wrong during this visit, I’m sure your relationship with your son will survive. Bad first impressions are just that—the beginning of something, not the end.
That being said, the Crone understands why you’re feeling so nervous. Many supernatural communities are quite insular, and it can be difficult from the outside to determine what’s fact and what’s rumor, especially when those rumors have been parlayed through thousands of years of Celtic folklore. Why not cut through all that by asking your son if there’s anything you can do to prepare for their stay? It doesn’t have to be about his girlfriend’s mystical roots—you could just check in and see if there are any snacks he’d like you to have on hand, and let him volunteer if any more specific preparations are needed.
Then, during their visit, just try to remember that you’re getting to know your son’s girlfriend, not a creature of legend. You don’t need to be prepared with a list of questions about her connection to the underworld of spirits (indeed, that could make her feel awkward or nervous). Instead, ask her to tell you how she and your son met, and about what interests they share. Remember that supernatural creatures are, well, people—maybe not humans, but people nonetheless, with foibles and quirks and shows they’re binging, just like all of us.
The point of this visit is to learn more about the woman who means so much to your son. If you focus on that, this old hag believes you’ll avoid any portents of doom.
Sincerely,
Crone
Chapter 4
Lorenzo stumbled downstairs on Sunday night to find Maggie and Rachel on the couch, settled in for their weekly appointment with whatever prestige program had caught their interest of late. The sun had just set and he was still a little groggy, so it took him a few seconds to notice that they weren’t alone: Charlie was sitting in the wingback armchair next to the couch.
“Charlie?” he said stupidly, blinking the last remnants of sleep out of his eyes. Charlie turned to glance at him, a grin lighting up his face. Those round, chubby cheeks of his should have made him look cherubic or innocent, but the effect was spoiled by his sharp eyes, slight stubble, and the wicked edge to his smile.
Lorenzo suddenly wished he’d pulled on something nicer than his coffin clothes. “What are you doing here?”
Charlie nodded at his roommates. “Maggie and Rachel invited me over to watchShogun.”
“But...why?” Lorenzo asked.
“He’s cool,” Maggie said, as if this were obvious and not a sign of staggeringly poor taste on her part. “And he wanted to talk more for his thesis thing.”
Lorenzo scowled at her. “You shouldn’t indulge him.”
“Shut up,” Rachel said. “It’s starting.”
Lorenzo grumbled at the lot of them and wandered into the kitchen. In the fridge he found only pig’s blood—he needed to do some shopping—but it was all he had, so he took a swig out of the paper cup and grimaced at the stale taste.
When he put it back in the fridge and closed the door, Charlie was standing there. Because Lorenzo was a stealthy creature of the night, he only jumped a little. “Jesus.”
“Guess what,” Charlie said with a blinding smile.
“No thank you,” Lorenzo muttered.
“I got you a plumber!” Charlie said, handing Lorenzo a post-it note with some details scribbled on it. “His Yelp reviews are excellent, and he was very nice on the phone. He’ll be here Tuesday night, ten p.m.”
“Why did you not check with me before scheduling him?” Lorenzo groused, staring down at the note. “I could be busy Tuesday night.”
“Are you?”
He hesitated, then said, “No,” and slid the note into his pocket.
