Page 12 of Pretending with the Mountain Man
I step back, creating space we both need. "About me. About what I expect. About how I... care for someone." The words feel inadequate for the intensity of what I'm trying to convey.
"You mean your dominance." Her directness catches me off guard again. "Dr. Maya explained the basics today. Consent, negotiation, power exchange."
"It's more than basics with me." I lean against the opposite counter, maintaining distance while I find the right words. "When I commit to someone, it's complete. I don't do casual, Melody. If we do this, you're mine. And I need to know you understand what that means."
She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, a gesture I'm learning means she's gathering courage. "Can I tell you something? Something I haven't told anyone?"
"Anything."
Her gaze drops to her hands. "Jason and I... we never actually had sex."
The admission hangs in the air between us. I process her words carefully, understanding dawning. "You're a virgin."
She nods, cheeks flushing. "I know it's weird at my age. Everyone assumes because we were together for a year, but I just... I couldn't. Every time he pushed for it, something inside me screamed to wait."
I move toward her slowly, giving her space to retreat if she needs it. "Why didn't you mention this before?"
"Because I was embarrassed?" She looks up, vulnerability naked on her face. "Because I thought maybe there was something wrong with me for not wanting him that way. He certainly told me there was."
Anger flares hot and immediate. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"I know that now." Her voice strengthens. "Being with him felt wrong because it was wrong. My body knew even when my brain tried to rationalize staying." She takes a shaky breath. "He pressured me constantly. Made me feel broken for not wanting him. Told me I was frigid, that no other man would want damaged goods."
"Melody." Her name comes out like gravel. I close the remaining distance between us, cupping her face in my hands. "Look at me."
She does, tears gathering in her eyes.
"You are not damaged," I say firmly. "You are not broken. Your instincts protected you from someone who didn't deserve the gift of your trust, your body, or your vulnerability." Ibrush away a tear that's escaped down her cheek. "That takes incredible strength."
"I wanted to explore," she continues, words tumbling out now that the dam has broken. "The BDSM stuff, the submission, all of it. But only in theory, in my head. I've never actually done anything. I've never even..." She trails off, embarrassment flooding her features.
Understanding clicks into place. "Have you ever been touched by anyone?"
She shakes her head. "Just myself. And that felt wrong too, with Jason constantly demanding access to my body while making me feel ashamed of it."
The protective rage building in my chest threatens to overwhelm rational thought. I want to find Jason Mills and show him exactly what happens to men who break down women's boundaries and self-worth. But Melody needs something different from me right now.
"Thank you for telling me," I say, forcing my voice to remain gentle despite the fury burning through me. "This changes things."
Her face falls. "You don't want me anymore."
"No." I tilt her chin up, making sure she sees the truth in my eyes. "I want you more. But we're going to take this slower than I originally planned. What you're offering me, Melody, it's not something I take lightly."
"I chose you," she whispers. "After everything, I chose you. That means something."
"It means everything." I press my forehead to hers, breathing her in. "But it also means I have a responsibility to make sure your first time is exactly what you deserve. Not rushed. Not born from fear or rebellion or proving something to your ex."
"It's not about him." Her hands come up to grip my wrists. "When I think about being intimate, I think about you. Abouttrusting someone enough to be completely vulnerable. About wanting to explore parts of myself I've kept hidden."
The honesty in her words sends heat spiraling through me. "When it happens, it will be because you're ready. Because you've learned about your body and your desires. Because you trust me not just with your submission, but with all of you."
"I already trust you."
"We've known each other two weeks." I smile despite the seriousness of the conversation. "Trust like I'm talking about takes time to build. It's earned through consistency, through proving I'll respect your boundaries, through showing you that your pleasure and safety matter more to me than my own satisfaction."
She studies my face, searching for something. "Most guys would be thrilled about the virgin thing. Take advantage of my inexperience."
"I'm not most guys." I step back, creating space again before I lose control of the situation. "And I'm definitely not going to take advantage of you. We're going to do this right."
