Page 44 of Silent Dust
Stephan noticed the shift immediately. He turned to her, his expression gentle but serious. “Hey… you okay? You seem a little distant.”
Her fingers twisted nervously in her lap, and she glanced down briefly before meeting his gaze again. She bit her lip and took a steadying breath. “I’ve been thinking… a lot,” she admitted, voice trembling ever so slightly. “About everything that’s happened. The attack, the threats… all of it.”
Without hesitation, Stephan reached for her hand, his touch soft and reassuring. “You know you can tell me anything, right? What’s on your mind?”
She swallowed hard, eyes flicking away momentarily before returning to meet his. “I… I thought if I divorced you, maybe it would keep you safe. Like, if I put space between us, the danger wouldn’t follow.”
His brow furrowed as he absorbed her words. “Why did you think distance was the answer?”
Her shoulders tightened involuntarily, and she lowered her gaze, shame and doubt washing over her features. “I thought if I wasn’t there… if I stepped away, they’d stop targeting you. It felt like the only way I could protect you.”
Stephan squeezed her hand with quiet pain. “Flora… that hurt. I had no idea why you were pulling away, and not knowing—wondering—made it even worse. It felt like you were giving up on us, like you didn’t want to fight alongside me. I get that you were scared, but that confusion tore me up more than you realize.”
She bit her lip harder, tears threatening to spill. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you, but I only made everything worse between us.”
His voice softened but remained steady. He pulled her hand closer. “Fear makes us do crazy things sometimes. But wepromised to face everything together. When you pulled away, it felt like I was fighting alone — and that was the hardest part.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry. I was drowning in panic and uncertainty. I thought maybe letting go would save you. But it only made me feel more alone.”
He leaned in, his eyes steady and unwavering. “You’re not alone. You didn’t drown, Flora. You’re still here. Still fighting. That’s what matters. We’ll get through this — together.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she finally leaned into his steadying presence. “I wish I could go back and change everything. I hate that I hurt you.”
Stephan brushed his thumb over her cheek, soft and soothing. “The past is the past. We can’t change it. But you’re here now, healing. That’s what counts.”
Her voice cracked beneath the weight of it all. “I keep thinking about the panic, the choices I made... I wish I could take it all back.”
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “We’re messy. Both of us. But we’re still here. Still trying. That’s what really counts.”
She met his tired but kind eyes, and a small spark of hope ignited inside her. “Thank you… for sticking with me. For still listening.”
A soft smile tugged at Stephan’s lips. “Always. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
As the sun began its slow descent, casting long shadows across the grass, Stephan picked at the last of the fruit, a playful grin flickering across his face. Flora met his gaze and smiled, the tightness inside her loosening just a bit.
Stephan caught the smile and raised an eyebrow. “What’s got you smiling?”
Flora smirked, a wry lightness returning to her eyes. “Just thinking about that self-defense training you pushed methrough. Funny thing — I completely flunked when it counted. More frozen chicken than ninja.”
An amused eyebrow rose. “Frozen chicken, huh?”
“Yep. World champ at running in the opposite direction while pretending to defend myself. Too busy imagining all the ways I could fail to actually fight back.”
Stephan’s thumb brushed her knuckles, grounding her once more. Then he drew a breath and said, “You know, on my very first mission as a SEAL, I froze too. Completely stopped moving. Hawk was my team leader, and I thought for sure he was going to have my head.”
Flora blinked in surprise. “What happened?”
He chuckled dryly. “Well, after the mission, Hawk tore me a new one — like only a real drill sergeant can. Then he made me do what felt like a thousand sit-ups and push-ups — right there, military style, no mercy. I thought I was going to die. My muscles still cringe whenever Hawk gets mad.”
Flora laughed softly, shaking her head. “Don’t tell Hawk I said this or he’ll make me do push-ups too. I’m not sure I could survive that.”
Stephan grinned. “That man lives for push-ups. Consider yourself warned.”
She rolled her eyes playfully. “Duly noted.”
He shook his head with a grin. “But seriously, that’s how I learned. Fear’s natural, but you can’t let it control you. You have to push through it, no matter how stupid you feel.”
He squeezed her hand gently. “You are strong, Flora. It’s not just about the moves — it’s your spirit, your determination to keep going, no matter what.”
