Page 7 of One Killer Night
Before I can lose myself to too much thought, my phone rings, forcing me to refocus back into the real world.
It’s my buddy Chase.
“What’s up?”
I wipe a hand over my mouth to try and make my smile go away.
“Dude. Where are you? The candy’s officially gone—” Candy. I snap my fingers before grabbing an oversize bag of full-length Snickers. “—and these kids out here are acting like the cast ofThe Sopranos. I just got shaken down for the change in my pocket by some little hustler dressed like a blue dog. Remind me never to agree to hang with you on Halloween again. Next year, I’m going to a dive bar with girls dressed like sexy cats.”
“Shut up,” I laugh as I walk to the checkout. “I’ve got some more, but there’s a change of plans. I’m dropping it off because I got something to do. You’re on your own for the night.”
A chorus of high-pitched voices rings out on the other end: “Trick or treat.”
But before Chase answers me, he grumbles, “Beat it, we’re out.”
“Dude,” I toss out with a laugh as I hand the clerk the money for the candy.
But Chase keeps ignoring me because whatever three-foot-tall costumed gang standing on my front porch protests, “Aww, come on, it’s still early. This house sucks.”
There’s shuffling, maybe the sound of paper, before Chase snaps, “Here, Capone. Read a magazine, ya little teamster. Save the teeth you have left.”
The sound of the door on my house shutting has me laughing harder as the night air hits me. I’m only two blocks from my place, but I’m not sure he’ll survive until I get there.
“Why do people have kids?” he says before pivoting back to what I said. “And what are you talkin’ about? You invited me. I’m not babysitting your house, surrounded by these hoodlums. They’re probably gonna egg it anyway.”
I turn the corner as four tiny vampires run by, making me lift the bag so I don’t accidentally hit them with it.
“I met a girl.”
“Where?”
I shake my head over his lack of common sense.
“At Walgreens.”
He scoffs. “The only women at Walgreens at nine p.m. on Halloween are gram-grams and crackheads.”
“Well, she definitely wasn’t either.”
“Oh shit. How hot? Come on, details. She have a nice ass?”
“You’re disgusting. Stop it. You can’t talk about women that way.”
I cross the street, jogging a bit to let a car hurry and turn.
Chase draws out his words. “Throw a guy a bone. Between the two of us, you’re the handsome one. I have to live vicariously through your dating life. Last week, this gorgeous, leggy blonde told me I looked like someone who made their own cheese. What does that even mean?”
I chuckle. “You do make your own cheese.”
“I’m a chef, Noah.”
Now I’m really laughing.
“Listen, yes, she was gorgeous. But I have no idea what her ass looked like because I didn’t look ... Also, she was in a blow-up dinosaur costume.”
I see my house a few doors away, and Chase is bravely walking back out onto my porch. A group of kids ascends. I hang up on him, pocketing my phone before tearing the bag open.
He points at me. “He’s got your loot, ya feral animals.”
