Page 89 of Vicious Little Snakes
He lets out a breath and stares at me through the mirror, removing his arms to grip the back of his neck. I know he’s pissed, but I’m not his playmate.Not anymore.My eyes dart away as I turn to walk to my jewelry table. Kai follows, grabbing my elbow, turning me around.
“Is it ever going to be a yes again?”
No.But I don’t say that, opting to stare back. I think a part of me is scared that if I answer Kai truthfully, we won’t be what we are anymore. I know he loves me, but would it be a little less until it wasn’t something I don’t recognize anymore?
The thought hits me like a brick because suddenly, I understand Donovan in a whole new way.
Kai cradles my face, forcing me to look up at him.
“It’s been two weeks, Caroline. Liam’s all but ghosted everyone, including you. Does he even go to Hillcrest anymore? Because I know he doesn’t row.”
“So?” I push back, tugging my elbow from his grip. “What does that have to do with me?”
“I’m starting to think you’d rather pine away for him than live in the present with me. Let me take your mind off of him.”
I don’t want my mind anywhere but on him.
“I’m not pining—”
“But?” he cuts in.
I haven’t told Kai that I slept with Liam. I told him I was too hurt over what happened, then that I had my period. All excuses to spare both his ego and his feelings. Because if I tell him the truth, then I have to admit that I despise the idea of him inside of me, that it makes me feel sick because I refuse to lose my last tie to Liam. God, it’s so twisted but all-consuming.
I wrap my hands around his wrists, telling him another considerate lie.
“But nothing. Right now, my focus is solely on becoming a Deb, and your dick does not take precedence. Come to think of it, dick never prioritizes itself over my own need. What can I say? I’m a feminist that way.”
His eyes narrow. “Or maybe you don’t want to tell me you fucked him.” I pull back, but he holds me in place, looking me over before letting go. “That’s what I thought.”
My fingers come to the scar on my wrist, blinking up at him.
“How long have you been holding that in?”
Kai waits for a beat before answering, “Since the day I almost got arrested with Liam.”
Liam told him. The idea makes my heart beat faster. Kai said they fought, but he didn’t offer details, and with Liam being missing in action, I’d assumed Kai laid into him about the party.
“Is that why you aren’t speaking? Not because of what happened at the party.”
Kai walks past me over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. His big hands splay over his knees, the black polish on his nails shiny.
“Partly, but mostly we aren’t speaking because he’s acting like none of us exists. He’s hiding, hanging out with Arden and her party squad. He’s self-destructing, Caroline, and none of us can stop it. Grey’s the only one that’s been able to get Liam to text back.”
“How come nobody said anything to me?”
“Care—how could we?”
I wave a hand. “I get it.”
And I do. I may be getting on with it, but that doesn’t mean I’m good. Not by a long shot.
I turn around again, heading toward my jewelry that’s sparkling on the table. Looking over the pieces I’ve laid out, I try and hide that I wish that I didn’t care so much—that everything inside of me didn’t want to track Liam down and bully him into getting his shit together. I rub my chest, remembering the way he couldn’t look at me before he said goodbye, but the way he did, for me.
My voice is so quiet that it’s almost as if I’m speaking to myself.
“Liam is stronger than he gives himself credit for—but he’s also stubbornly insecure and takes forever to see the things right in front of his face. He just needs a minute. Give it to him and be there when he comes back.” I lift my eyes. “Promise me, Kai.”
He frowns, standing and making his way over to me, taking my hand in his.
