Page 94 of Filthy Little Pretties
“Where to next?”
He looks down at her, slightly frowning. “Home. Time for bed, Care.”
She smiles up seductively, but he shakes his head, making her pout as the limo pulls up and the driver jumps out to open our door.
“Steve’s got you, guys. He’s familiar with the routine.” Kai motions his head toward Caroline. “He’ll drop you first and then make sure Caroline is helped into her house. I have to finish my set. Will you be okay?”
“Yes. Go. I’m pretty sober now. And thanks again.”
I give him another hug and take Caroline’s hand, letting her into the back first. Kai stands at the curb, one hand in his pocket, the other giving a small wave as we pull away.
Caroline’s head leans onto my shoulder as we sit in silence before she asks, “Did something happen between you and Kai? Why were you in the bathroom?”
I give her head a gentle nudge so that I can turn to look at her.
“No. Never. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Her face is drawn, almost sad. It has to be the drugs—she’s in that stage where she’s feeling all manner of emotions. I reach out and tickle her arm gently, knowing that will calm her, but her words shock me into stillness.
“I’m such a fucking mess. Kai can’t really ever love me. Nobody can.” Her words are so sincere and remind me of myself. “I always hurt. It’s as if I can feel everything, every emotion, all the time, with the exception of happiness. Do you ever feel like that?”
I sweep a piece of her hair off her forehead and give a little shrug. “We’re all a mess. Our lives are tragic and beautiful, and we survive the best we can. You might want to stop self-medicating though. I’m not really one to give that piece of advice right now, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Trust me.”
The way she searches my eyes, it makes me feel like she needs more of what I’m saying. She’s pleading for someone to be her friend.
“Confess. How bad were you? I mean, the way you came back and never really let on why. I could tell something was up. Spain must’ve been something wicked.”
I gnaw my lip as I struggle with wanting to tell her, but not fully trusting her. An hour ago, I would’ve probably spilled my guts, but now I’m less drunk, so the worry is stronger.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I get it, D. I’ve never given you any reason to trust me. That’s twisted, right? I don’t know what it’s like to have girlfriends, and I’m not sure I can even be a good friend, but you seem to understand…so I thought…”
“No. I do understand.”
Timing is a funny thing. When the opportunity to let go presents itself, it can’t be ignored. Who knew it would be in the back of a limo, smelling like puke with my high-as-fuck frenemy turned friend. A hard breath leaves my body, taking with it the weight of what I’ve been carrying.
“I spent the last five years boozing and fucking my way into shit self-esteem and a rock bottom that left indescribable wounds. I lied, cheated, and manipulated everyone and everything. But worse, I ruined a marriage by fucking a man who I shouldn’t have—one of my mom’s friends—uncaring about the repercussions because I was hellbent on destroying every single piece of me. I’ve spent five years trying to kill myself just like you. And like you, I started with my spirit before I ever got to my body. I’m the definition of scandal and embarrassment for my family. A real prize. And I hide it all away so people never see me because like you said…they couldn’t really love me if they knew me…nobody could, right?”
Will Grey?
Her arms wrap around my neck and pull me into a hug as the planet that’s been wedged between my shoulder blades lifts and I finally breathe for the first time. We stay like that for a long moment, before we pull away at the same time and smile at each other.
“This is the kind of thing that makes us best friends. Every brunette does need her blonde, after all. It’s official, the guys have been unseated. Don’t worry, I’ll share the news.”
I laugh and push her leg. “You’re terrible. But it’s bizarre, I didn’t see an end to the night like this. Thank you.”
Caroline pulls her legs up, crisscrossed on the seat. “Are you kidding? It’s the least I can do for hating you for so long. I’ve never lived in anyone’s shadow, it’s cold…and you seemed to cast one everywhere you went.”
She shrugs and lifts her perfectly shaped brows as I roll my eyes. “Bullshit. You have never been in my shadow. And I can think of twenty people who would agree with me. Starting with Kai, Grey, and Liam.”
I reach for the water in the bar and hand her one, and I lean back into the seat, twisting the top. Her head is downcast, staring at the top of the bottle. “Confession for confession?”
My answer is unneeded because she raises her chin, managing a sad grin, while wiping a tear that’s rolled down her cheek.
“Do you know why Liam calls me Carebear?”
I shake my head, tucking my hand between my legs.
“He gave me that nickname last year. He said I wore my heart on my sleeve, that I loved too deeply. He swears that a person just has to look past the nasty bite I’ll inflict to protect myself, and they’ll see therealme. I know, it’s crazy.” She rolls her eyes at me, and I smile, knowing it sounds like Liam. “But he’s right. I’m a bear to deal with because my life has—” Her eyes close, and she takes a deep breath, opening them to reveal a fierceness. “I can’t ever seem to find my footing. You understand. I know you do. And when I finally did, you came along and served to remind me how inferior I am.”
