Page 82 of Filthy Little Pretties
“You fucking know why.”
“You and I are friends. Liam and I are friends. That’s it. It was a stupid kiss. I got caught up in the moment. It meant nothing.”
I’m a dirty, dirty liar. I liked Liam’s kiss. I like Liam, but Grey is different. He’s like an affliction I can’t rid myself of. He’s everywhere—inside my head, and running through my body. He makes me feel unnerved and dangerous, and that scares me to death.
“Lie to yourself. Don’t lie to me. I saw your face. You liked the taste of him.”
His voice is cutting and deep. God, I hate him, and I don’t know if it’s because Grey so easily sees through me or that his voice is so loud in my head that I’m forced to see myself. I swing around angry, stupid, and childish, pointing a finger at him.
“This bullshit is why I said you didn’t have a chance the first day I saw you. We aren’t doing this.” My hand motions between us. “Everything now…my past…I’m more than complicated, Grey. I don’t need this.”I’m not the kind of girl you should fall in love with.
“I don’t care what the fuck you’ve done or what you’re scared of. I want you.”
He reaches for me, and everything inside of me wants to step in, but I do the opposite.
“You say that now. But when I get my claws in, you’ll regret every fucking minute as I tear you apart. Trust me.” A harsh breath leaves me as I run my hands through my hair. “I’ve fucked up so much that I couldn’t see my way through until I got back my friendship with you two. It’s the only damn thing I have that reminds me of the girl I am, or at least the one I want to be again. And I won’t ruin that, or lose it, not even for you.”
“I ruin your chance to be happy. Just me? Or Liam too?”
Just you.I don’t trust myself with Grey. He makes me feel as reckless and as wild as I’ve been over the last five years. I crave his attention. I’d do almost anything for it, and only the wrong boys do that.
“Enough. I won’t do this with you. It was a fucking peck. That’s all you and I shared. Nothing. Meaningless. Uneventful at best. Get over it so we can get back to being friends, Grey. I want to go back.”
“There is no going back!”
His words rumble from his chest, forcing me back a few more steps, eyes narrowed on him.
“Don’t say that. Stop it.”
He shakes his head at me, but I turn back around to stare at the lights shining out past my window to avoid his expression. I know we can’t uncross the lines; the wheels are in motion, heading straight for the damn cliff. Silence passes between us before his deep gravel fills the room again but calmer this time.
“I’m not your goddamn friend. You don’t want to cop to the kiss with Liam? Then tell me something else. Why kiss me, Donovan?”
I answer with a shrug, still refusing to look at him.
“Answer me, Donovan. Why’d you kiss me?”
“I don’t—”
My fingernails dig into the sides of my arms, willing me to keep my mouth shut as I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting this to just go away.
“Why?” His voice roars in the space, making my shoulders jump, but I still don’t turn around as I answer.
“I don’t know!”
He claps his hands, laughing. “Jesus. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I thought all of this was about punishing me for earlier, but this is about you. You don’twantto choose. You might be trying to change your life, live on the straight and narrow, but you’re still a spoiled little princess who wants her cake and to eat it too.”
Grey’s right. Idon’twant to choose. I want to keep them both selfishly like a tyrant who rules over their hearts, unjustly expecting their devotion but never letting myself fall for one or the other. Except, I fell. So, now the shit’s more complicated.
The warmth of his body tells me he’s standing just behind as his words are said quietly and lethally into my hair. “If a taste test is what you’re after, I’m sure we can arrange some time to pass you back and forth since we missed out the first time.”
Motherfucker. My eyes shoot to his as I spin around, hateful, with belligerence ready to fire from my mouth. “Fuck you. Be careful, Grey. I was more than happy to take your pride today—don’t let your dignity be next.”
“Cherry, you better bring your A game because if you think I won’t make you walk through hell before I take you to heaven, you’re blonder than you look.”
“I hate you.” I seethe, glaring at him, but he whispers his words back to me arrogantly.
“You wish that were true.”
