Page 125 of Filthy Little Pretties
He lifts his wrist, setting a timer, and fixes his eyes forward as I yell, “But I do because it’s what she wants. She doesn’t need you to protect her. I didn’t fucking bully her, Liam. My heart bled out all over her…Donovan chose for herself. You just can’t handle that.”
He refuses to look at me, the muscles in his jaw working overtime. I’m right, and he knows it. She doesn’t need him to be her knight in shining armor and save her.
“I’m her choice, Liam. Eyes wide fucking open.”
“No! You aren’t winning.”
My chest is already heaving with the anger I’m feeling. Why won’t he listen? Fuck! My hands grip my oars as I stare at his profile, hating that we’ve come to this. Turning to look at me, he sneers, “You’re so fucking arrogant, all this time and you still aren’t even thinking of her.”
“I’m always thinking of her.”
We both glance at his watch as the first set of warning beeps begins, adrenaline beginning to kick in. We’re competitors—this is natural for us—but usually we’re on the same side. His eyes dart to mine as we lean into position, waiting for the signal, and he hits me with his words, “What have you ever sacrificed for her?”Three… Two… One…The last beeps ring as he says the last word. “Nothing.”
The bell sounds and we hit our oars down on the water, straining our thighs as we push away to dig in harder and pick up speed faster. What the fuck does he know? I would give up everything for her. Always.
My arms move faster, finding a rhythm charged by my need to win. To win her. Each stroke takes me faster and faster until my boat gains feet, not just inches. Even then, I still don’t stop pushing for more, wanting to make him eat every goddamn word. I want this loss to hurt because she’s mine.What have you ever sacrificed for her?His words begin to ring out in my mind, over and over, as I leave him behind.
I’m so far ahead that I can see the back of his head, and the unevenness of his rowing as he desperately tries to go faster. And before I can process what I’m doing, my arms begin to move slower, rowing once to his every two strokes, then once for every three, until he’s not just caught up but passing me, just as we go under the bridge.
I hear him roar, but I keep slowing down, turning myself around, and head back to the boathouse. I feel numb. I’m not even sure why I did it. I just know that I can’t keep hurting her, and this makes her sad. Not having Liam in her life makes her sad. This I have to fix.
Slowing at the wooden steps, I reach out to tie off the boat and climb out, ascending the ladder steps, shaking the water away that’s soaked into my sweatshirt. I make my way back inside the boathouse, letting out a frustrated growl. We’re fucking acting like children, and all I want is my goddamn friend back. I need to talk to Donovan.
Footsteps come pounding up the dock, Liam’s deep yells ricocheting off the walls, but before I can turn around, all the air leaves my body as he rams his shoulder into my rib cage, lifting me off the ground and taking us back a few feet.
“Fucking asshole.”
I shove him away hard, sucking in a shortened breath, and back up to get my bearings.
“What the hell are you doing, dick? You won. Why are you trying to fuck me up?”
“Because,” he roars, stepping back, as he lets out a harsh breath. His next words come out quieter as his eyes stay locked to mine. “Because you let me win, you son of a bitch. Why’d you do that?”
I don’t answer because I did let him win. Even though we both know deep down this race doesn’t change anything, I wanted to do right by her and by him. It was my turn to lose. My hand runs through my hair as I close my eyes, bracing myself for the truth I’m going to admit to him.
“Because we both know you’d love her better. And I didn’t wantherto lose again.” My answer sits there, in between us, making it hard for me to look at him, but I do. “I’m a prick, but she wants me anyway. And you’re right. I never really sacrificed anything. She was willing to give up so much for me—except she wouldn’t give you up. And I wouldn’t ask her to, Liam.”
His head tips up to the ceiling remorsefully. “But I did. And that makes me the asshole.”
“Guess we’re more alike than we’d like to admit to each other.”
Liam shakes his head and walks to the bench and sits. We’re a pair, all our anger stripped down, leaving us raw. Just two guys who love the same girl. I join him, my fingers curling around the wood, as I stare out at the wood planks of the dock.
“Be honest—do you love her? Is that why you can’t let it all go?”
I hate that I ask, but I have to know.
“I don’t love her, Grey. Not like you,” he says, filling the silence. “I’m not jealous, man. I know that’s what you think.”
My head turns to his. “Then why are you so hell-bent on breaking us up?”
Liam sits back against the wall as he speaks. “Because you made me stand there and watch you hurt her. There wasn’t anything I could do. No amount of hugs or jokes was going to fix what you did in that cafeteria. Don’t you get that? And it wasn’t just her you hurt. You accused me of fucking your girl behind your back. I’ve known you my whole life. And you treated me…us, like we were nothing to you.”
I did. There isn’t an excuse I could make that would take it away. But I don’t want to ever stop feeling the sting of it because I deserve that.
“You’re right. I hated you for taking her away, and I never stopped to think. All I could do was feel. You’ve always been the better one of us, Liam.”
He gives a laugh, but it’s true. Liam is good, and I wouldn’t know how to be if it wasn’t for him.
