Page 122 of Filthy Little Pretties
“Looking for you.”
“Why?” he questions, tapping the pencil against his leg as I move deeper into the room.
I roll my eyes, stopping in front of him, and cross my arms. “That’s a stupid question. Because you made me. You’re hiding.”
He scrunches his face and shrugs, as he sits back down in his chair.
“Can I sit?” I question, looking down at his broody face. He pushes a chair out with his foot across from him and nods.
“Are you going to talk to me or sulk? Because I have all day.”
He breaks, looking up at me, and grins, opening his sketch pad to an empty sheet. “Okay, you pose, we talk.”
My eyes almost pop out of my head as I let out a little squeal. “Deal.”
He stares at me, but I don’t know what he wants me to do. So I contort into ridiculous dramatic poses, making him laugh. “Am I doing it right?”
“Just be natural and talk. I’ll take what I want.” His fingers brush the pad, clearing it, before he stares at me again. God this is so awkward. Settling back into my chair, I stick my tongue out at him.
“Be serious, Van,” he gripes.Oh geez.
“Okay. How’s this for serious… Why are you avoiding everyone and punishing them when they want to apologize?”
“You don’t mean everyone, you mean Grey,” he answers levelly, tilting his head and looking at my jaw.
“Same difference.” My words make his eyes jump to mine.
He sits back in his chair, this time staring at me without the artist’s wonder in his eyes.
“No. It’s not. That’s your problem. You don’t know the difference.”
“What does that mean?” Now it’s my turn to glare back at him.
“It means, this is what you do. You always have. He does something atrocious, and you forgive him. As if it never happened.” I don’t answer, because I don’t know how to explain it. I do forgive him, but Grey does all the atrocious thingsforme, not against me. That’s what Liam doesn’t get.
“In the cafeteria… He treated you like dirt, Van. Likened you to a whore and…” His eyes move away as his words trail off. He can’t even look at me.
“Then fucked me like one…” His eyes snap back to me, guilt behind them, as I continue. “You don’t have to say it. It’s written all over your face.”
Liam stands, rubbing a hand over his head. “Why can’t you hold him accountable?”
“I do. And I can. He was acting out of desperation, and grief…he thought he lost me.”And I would’ve done the same. Tried to hurt him as much as I hurt.
He gives an empty laugh. “You can lie to yourself all you want. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. You’re just another Laura—just a bigger trophy for him to win until the next one.”
I shove to my feet and steel my spine. “Fuck you. I only forgive him blindly. Only him. So pay attention to what you say to me.”
His head drops down as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Shit. I’m sorry, Van. I’m so angry. So mad that… He doesn’t deserve you.”
“And you do? Is that what you want to say?” His eyes dart away again, but I walk closer to him and take his hand. “You’ve always known that it was Grey.”
“I have. But I hate it.”
My arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug. “I also want you. As my best friend, like you’ve always been. My person. The one who’ll laugh at my jokes and vice versa. Liam…it’s me and you. Please? You are so important to me and to Grey.”
His arms tighten around me, and I feel his chin rest on the top of my head as we stay like that, silent for what feels like a hundred years.
“No, Van,” he whispers, reaching behind him and pulling my arms from him. I step back and stare at him, unbelieving, as he shakes his head.
