Page 94 of Worship
“What the fuck are you aiming at? You aren’t just going to let me leave.”
I hear all her disbelief, but then that’s fair. She’s hasn’t known me to be generous or thoughtful as of late.
I unfasten my cufflinks, setting them on coffee table in front of me, and roll up my sleeves. Relaxing back into the chair, my tired head relaxes back.
“Say I did. What would you do? Let’s say I offered you a hundred grand and a plane ticket?”
I pick my head up to look at her and gauge her reaction to the offer. She knows this offer is as real as it gets.
Shelby’s face grows serious.
“Why? What would I have to do?” Her voice is filled with skepticism.
“Leave. And never come back,” I finish, my tone serious, leaving zero room for question.
My elbow rests on the arm of the leather chair, and I look at her, waiting to hear her interest in the offer.
“What about our marriage?” she asks, bringing her fingernail to her teeth and pacing.
“I’ve had papers drawn up since I met Gretchen. Sign and you’re free,” I answer matter-of-factly to her raised brows as she stops to look at me.
“And Ella?” she questions, looking away.Unbelievable.
“What about Ella?” My jaw tenses with my irritation.
“Would I have to see her or…”
This time, Shelby stops and crosses her arms. She doesn’t even look ashamed that she’s asking. What kind of person feels nothing for someone so innocent?
“No.” My voice is harsh and as unforgiving as I feel. “She will never know you or that you exist. The minute you sign, you’re dead to her.”
“Why are you ‘hypothetically’ doing this, Luca?” I see the hope building in her eyes.
I look down at my hands, deciding to say exactly what I feel.
“Because I want to stop punishing you and myself. But mostly, because I love Gretchen more than I hate you.”
Two hours later, Shelby is packed, and I’ve woken a banker to arrange a transfer to her account; it’ll pay out the moment she boards the plane.
Shelby has ten grand in cash, opting only to take whatever clothes would fit in four Louis Vuitton suitcases. We stand in front of the desk in my office, and I watch her sign her name on the divorce documents and the papers that take all her parental rights away.
She sweeps her arm up with the flourish of a pardoned inmate, celebratory and anxious. Shelby turns and looks at me, the happiness she feels vibrating off her. It makes me hate her that much more. But that doesn’t deter me from my goal.
“Thank you, Luca.”
Her gratitude makes me want to hurt her.
“Don’t thank me. Setting you free doesn’t mean I forgive you. You will always mean nothing to me and even less because of your disregard for my daughter. Thank Gretchen. She’s the only one in this mess who has a heart. I hope you rot in hell.”
Shelby’s eyes widen, and she stands straighter as I lean in close to her face.
“Get the fuck out of my house, my city, my state. If I see you, I’ll make you pay with the only thing you truly love: your life.”
She doesn’t speak.
She hauls two small duffels over her shoulders and picks up her suitcases, turning to the door. I watch her leave and inhale a deep breath, closing my eyes on the exhale.
It’s after midnight, and I’m fucking wiped out, but I want Gretchen to know. She has to know I’m trying. I can’t leave her the way I did when I walked out. Reaching into my pocket, I pull my phone and dial Gretchen. It goes straight to voicemail.
