Page 67 of Worship
He nods, leaning in to kiss the top of my head, and turns back to Blair to continue their conversation. I slice through the tension, walking through the middle of Shelby and Luca, only faltering as I pass when his fingers brush mine gently.
I walk hurriedly to the front of the house, eyeing Drew as she looks up from her conversation, and I motion my head toward the bathroom. I see her excuse herself from the group she’s chatting with and walk in my direction. I push the bathroom door open and shut it behind me, waiting.Do not cry. Do not lose your cool.
I take a few slow breaths, trying to calm myself. I’ve moved on. It’s been two months of radio silence, and I always knew the day I saw him again would be difficult, but I didn’t expect to feel flooded with the need to walk directly into his arms and beg for him to take me back. Shit.
A small knock announces her presence. The door pushes open and Drew slides herself in, closing the door behind her.
She looks at me bewildered.
“What’s up?”
“What’s up?” my voice is panicked. “I thought he wasn’t going to be here. You said he wasn’t going to be here. Was that a lie?”
So much for keeping my cool.
She wrinkles her forehead and bites her lip.
“Yes.”
“Drew!” I yell, and she shushes me.
I try and pace in the small space, but I can’t, and she slaps at my arm.
“Chill. I’m sorry, but he’s the godfather, and you’re the godmother, and this is my goddamn baby, and I wanted everyone here to be happy for me.”
She looks down at her tummy, and I stop my tirade, reaching my hand out to scratch her flat belly. Drew’s only twelve weeks along, so she hasn’t started to show yet. She laughs and takes my hand.
“Sooner or later, you were going to have to rip off the Band-Aid. This is family, G. Everyone here has your back.”
Her puppy-dog eyes kill me.
“You’re right, but seeing him…with her. Jesus, it feels just as raw and just as painful. How do I make it stop?” She sticks out her bottom lip, and I nod in agreement.
Drew takes a deep breath and shrugs.
“Honey. You’re asking me how you stop loving him.”
“Yeah.” I shrug back.
I hate that I can’t stop loving him, but what I hate more is the idea that he’s stopped loving me.
Drew starts to fidget and places her hands on the bathroom counter, leaning back.
“G, I know you didn’t want me to tell you stuff about him. But there’s something you should know. Dom said something today, and I heard him and Luca talking about it again before the party tonight.”
The look on her face makes me nervous. I wanted to forget him, and I couldn’t do that with Drew telling me his every movement, so I made a “no Luca” conversation rule. She’s honored it until now.
“Tell me?” I say like a true addict.
My nerves have sunk into the pit of my stomach.
“He’s protecting Shelby.”
Is she fucking kidding!Hormones have really messed with her judgment.
“Are you kidding! Why are you telling me this?” I try to calm my irritation. “You want me to know he’s protecting his wife from me. Great. Thanks.”
I reach past her to get to the door to leave.
