Page 37 of Truth
He cuts me off before I can finish. “Wow, I never thought I’d see the day when Dominic King was afraid of someone.” Nail meet head. Drew Matthews has me shaking in my boots.
“Fuck off. Are you done, little brother? Can I go back to grown-up business now?” He hates when I call him the little brother. I love it.
“Little by minutes, you dick. And stop deflecting. I’ve never seen you hung up on a chick…er, I mean, woman like this before. She must have a golden pussy.”What the fuck?
“Watch your fucking mouth, or I’ll break your jaw.” I couldn’t be more serious, and it wouldn’t be the first time Luca and I have gone to blows.
“Holy shit, ladies and gentlemen. Dom is sprung…” Clearly unfazed by my warning, he laughs louder than necessary.
“Jesus! Luca, I don’t have time for this shit. Can we get back to business? I have a two-o’clock call that I won’t postpone for love advice with Dr. Luca King.”
“Wow, interesting that you went right to the wordlove.” He never stops.
“For fuck’s sake. I’m hanging up.” Slamming my receiver down harder than necessary, I lean back in my chair and rest my head back, stretching it from side to side to help relieve the tension and ignore my cell buzzing. Fuck, why did I have to say love. People don’t fall in love in twenty-four hours.
I’m sure it’s a text from Luca. His intuition is spot-on—it’s the twin thing, but he never knows when to give up. We may be identical, but we couldn’t be more different. But I can’t explain this to him. I made sure he would have the life our parents wanted for us, but it wasn’t without sacrifice. I wouldn’t do a damn thing differently, but unlike our faces, our lives could never be identical. He’s got a wife and a kid and a life I don’t envy, except when I think abouther. With her, all the rules change. It’s the one thing that scares the shit out of me. It may have only been one night, but I just can’t seem to shake her hold on me. I fell for a girl I can’t have; it’s as if I got to see into a crystal ball, a beautiful glimpse into what life should feel like and be like, and now I can’t go back.
Standing from my mahogany desk, I walk out of my office and into the kitchen to grab some water. I gulp it down, then place it on the counter. I absent-mindedly run my hand over the granite countertop, remembering her sitting and eating a slice of pizza as I spoke about my mother. It was the first time I’d really spoken about her to anyone outside of my brother, but it felt natural, normal. That feeling guts me. I wanted her to know my mother, even if it was in some small way. Drew became important to me in one miraculous night, and now the memories haunt me.
Shaking my head, I try and remind myself it was just a one-night stand. Nothing more. I know I’m lying to myself—we had a connection; it was more than attraction and sex. She walked away and took every ounce of me with her. I’m bound to this gorgeous woman, and my heart refuses to fucking let go. I told her I wouldn’t chase her, I wouldn’t go after her if she ran, but now I wish I had because I’ve been sitting here waiting to be found. She makes me weak, vulnerable, and those are two feelings I am not acquainted with. I hate the stench of need. I’m like a lust-starved Oliver Twist, and she’s what I want more of.
So, I sit here in my empty house and pay people to bring me information on her while I figure out what the fuck to do about this, about her. Fuck, my life is spiraling.I need a drink. Scratch that—I need a priest to exorcize Drew Matthews from my body.I need to pack my shit and go back home, just let her go, let go of her smart-ass attitude and sharp-as-a-knife wit. Let go of her luscious mouth and all the dirty things I did to it. Let go of the memory of her nails down my back etched into my mind while her legs wrapped themselves around my body.Fuck!
Pushing off the counter, I grab another bottle of water and head toward my home gym. Today feels like a punching-bag day. I find myself there a lot lately; a man can only jack off so much.
With every hit of the bag, I feel my frustration raise.She was more.
Smack, smack smack.More than sex.
Thrusting upward, I barrel into the bag, making it jump.She was a promise.
My head drips sweat, and my muscles want to give in, but I unleash all my fury out onto the bag until I’m spent, huddled over and breathless.She became a broken promise when she hesitated.
I was all in. I gave myself to her, and I don’t do that, ever. It doesn’t matter that I knew her for twenty-four hours; I touched an angel and fell from heaven. I feel like the devil because now all I want is to erase her, but I refuse to forget. I don’t know how to walk away, but I won’t beg. I want her bound at my feet as payment for her faithless decision.
I want to hate her, but what I hate is how much of me belongs to her.
Reaching my arm over my shoulder, I grip the back of my shirt and draw it over my head, using it to wipe my forehead before tossing it aside. I want to punish her, punish her for walking away, so I hit the bag harder and harder until I can feel the bruising under my wrapped hands start to throb, giving me something to focus on instead of the bruise to my heart.Fuck, I’m weak for this woman.
LYING AWAKE IN MY BEDafter leaving the office, I’m nowhere near being tired. Rolling to my side, I throw off my sheet and sit upright in my king bed. I’m so thankful to be back in my place after moving in with Nick. I lean over and grab my cell off the bedside table and type out a quick text to Gretchen to confirm my suspicions for our “meeting” tomorrow.
Me: Hey—by meeting do you mean brunch and mimosas?
Gretchen: Duh, we’ve earned it. This week has been hell and I think we can have a secret meeting without anyone suspecting we are just being alcoholic slackers.
Me: Agreed. Where?
I stand as the bubbles pop up and go away and then pop up again. If she is winging it, I’m going to be irritated. Trying to get a reservation is impossible same day in this city. I start to pace, waiting for her response.
Gretchen: I’ll pick you up on the way.
Me: Do you have a reservation? Because you know it’s impossible to snag a good place tomorrow.
Gretchen: Yes mom, I do. Go use your batteries.
Me: Asshole… Listen, I have to go in for a few things, so pick me up at our building, downstairs. Just text me when you’re ten out.
Gretchen: Yep, got it.
