Page 2 of Christmas Is All Around
“She’s ababy,” Charlotte said, appalled. “She can’teat.”
“No,” Ava said with a fond smile, “but she can look adorable in a Christmas dress whileweeat.” She paused to consider. “If we shove a bottle in her mouth, she might give us five seconds of peace and quiet, and I can try to remember what an adult conversation feels like.”
“I am going to kidnap your baby and spare both of us from this fate,” Charlotte said gloomily.
“Well, it’s still a better option than Mom and Dad coming to visit for the holidays—”
“Wait,” Charlotte interrupted. “Are they together again?”
“Apparently,” Ava said airily, waving a hand as though this was not of particular interest. Their parents’ relationship was infamously tempestuous; they’d never officially divorced, but had spent a great deal of time and money moving houses, then moving back in together, then repeating the entire cycle over again. It was, Charlotte had been informed on numerous occasions, part of theirartistic temperament, although she, who made a living off her art, personally thought it could simply be chalked up to being the two most self-centered people on the face of the planet.
“My point is,” Ava said, “a holiday with the Adeoyes soundsconsiderably nicer, so I’m not going to complain too much.” A speculative gleam lit her eye. “Besides, theyadoreAlice, and if that means that I can finagle some free babysitting out of them so that I can seduce my husband—”
“No! No! No!” Charlotte yelped, clapping her hands to her ears. From the front seat, the cabdriver cast a stern look at her in the rearview mirror, but she stared back at him, unrepentant. After a moment, an exasperated-looking Ava tugged at her hands until she lowered them.
“Will you be good?” Charlotte asked severely.
Ava pouted. “Iwasbeing good. It’s not my fault you’re a prude.”
“Yes,” Charlotte agreed, deadpan. “That’s exactly the word I would use to describe myself. Should we revisit the string of torrid affairs in my twenties?” She was joking, but alsonotjoking; after her last relationship, years earlier, she’d informed her best friend, Padma, over expensive cocktails that she was swearing off anything serious indefinitely, and she’d been true to her word. Vacation flings? Definitely. One-night stands with life-ruiningly hot bartenders? Sure. But nothing more.
“It has been absolutelyagessince I heard someone use the phrase ‘torrid affair,’ and I really think it’s time it made a comeback,” Ava said approvingly. “But if we could return to the point of this conversation—and the whole reason I schlepped all the way out to this godforsaken airport so I could get a moment alone with you—”
“What happened toI just want to see my precious baby sister?”
“I just wanted towarnyou,” Ava said, undeterred. “And if you want to suddenly find yourself unavoidably busy on certain days while you’re here, just to escape for a bit, I understand.” She delivered the offer with the air of someone who clearly expected to be sainted any day now, though by Ava’s standards, thiswaspretty considerate. “I know how you feel about Christmas.”
“Last time I checked,youweren’t the world’s most festive person, either.”
“It’s true,” Ava conceded. “But I am aparentnow. Sacrifices must be made. Plus, I don’t have the lingering childhood-career-associated holiday baggage that you seem to be carrying.”
“What a sentence.”
Charlotte leaned back in her seat, watching the London suburbs creep slowly by as they inched through heavy traffic. She yawned; god, she was so tired. She’d turned twenty-nine this past summer, and was convinced that it had destroyed her ability to sleep properly on a plane, like some sort of horrifying aging switch had been turned on in her body’s wiring.
“Besides, given recent events, I think I’m well within my rights to be a bit of a Scrooge.”
Ava reached over to pat her on the hand consolingly. “Absolutely.” A pause. “Also, that reminds me: the primary school down the street from our flat is putting on a production ofA Christmas Carolfeaturing all the children in costume as Muppets, and Kit’s mom wants to go.”
Charlotte blinked. “You mean, using actual puppets?”
Ava shook her head firmly. “No, the children are going to be dressed astheMuppets. I’m looking forward to seeing a very small child performing Robin the FrogasTiny Tim—this might be how we spot the next generational talent in the theater world!” She paused, frowning. “I’m not sure how this isn’t going to end in a lawsuit, but a bit of litigation does tend to liven up amateur theatricals, wouldn’t you say?”
“I don’t know how to answer that,” Charlotte said, and Ava laughed.
Padma: Did you make it? Are you okay? Did anyone attack you on the plane???
Charlotte: Padma ffs
Charlotte: It was one teenager
Padma: Exactly!
Padma: If teenagers are accosting you in public parks, who knows what’s next!
Charlotte: Don’t worry, if anyone tries, I’ll take them to court and hire you as my lawyer
Padma: Charlotte, I’m not licensed to practice in England.
