Page 69 of Christmas Is All Around
“Aha!” Padma said triumphantly, pointing an accusatory finger at her through the screen. “Because you’re still secretly hoping to work things out! You wouldn’t care about spilling the beans if you never thought you’d sleep with him again!”
“That’s not true,” Charlotte protested. (It was, she feared, absolutely true.) “I’m just being… considerate.”
“Yes,” Padma said, nodding innocently. “You are alwayssoconsiderate of your former paramours. The things I wish I didn’t know about the bedroom habits of a certain subset of millennial men of Manhattan and Brooklyn—”
“We’ve got to find you other books to read,” Charlotte muttered.“Paramours?”
“Andrew loves me for my vocabulary,” Padma said fondly. “And don’t change the subject!”
“Youchanged the subject!” Charlotte howled.
“Stop arguing, and answer me this question: If Graham had told you his sister’s plan from the start, how would you have reacted?”
“I’d have understood and appreciated his maturity and honesty,” Charlotte said.
Padma made a sound like a game show buzzer on a wrong answer. “Try again.”
Charlotte sighed. “I would have been furious,” she admitted. “I wouldn’t have wanted to listen to his explanations.But,” she added, holding up a hand before Padma could interrupt, “I think I would have eventually forgiven him, because I liked him so much.”
“Or,” Padma said thoughtfully, “you would have used it as an excuse to prevent anyone else from getting too close, just as you’ve done with everyone you’ve dated since Craig.”
“If I recall correctly, you wereextremelysupportive when I announced my no-relationships stance,” Charlotte objected.
“I’d had a lot of cocktails,” Padma pointed out, which was fair. “Also, it was one night of tipsy venting in a barfour years ago—I didn’t think you’d actually refuse to ever fall in love again, like, indefinitely.”
“That breakup sucked,” Charlotte said, shifting on her bed and trying not to dislodge the pillow she had her phone propped against. “Can you blame me?”
“Not all men are like Craig,” Padma said simply. “And not every guy you meet is going to be some asshole who thinks it’s cool and quirky to have an artist girlfriend from a famous family, and then bails the second you dare to have a moment when you actuallyneedsomething from him and aren’t just a low-maintenance piece of arm candy that makes him look cool.” She paused, her eyes widening as her own words seemed to register. “Sorry. That was harsh… but, god, I hated that guy.”
“I know,” Charlotte said quietly. SheknewGraham wasn’t anything like Craig—knew that she was letting her own fears, her own past, get in the way here. But…
“I just hate the thought that there was anything aboutChristmas, Trulythat was responsible for us getting together.”
“Charlotte.” Padma gave her a look through the screen that was half affection, half exasperation. “It will nevernotbeChristmas, Trulythat got you guys together. His family owns Pip’s house! You’re doing a commission that includes a scenefrom the movie! No matter whatweird and sort of Machiavellian scheme his sister was cooking up, the moviealwayswould have been part of the reason you guys started hanging out.Christmas, Trulyis always going to be part of your story with him. Just like it’s always going to be part ofyourstory.”
Charlotte was silent, feeling mildly stunned.
Because Padma was right.
“Of course I am,” Padma said patiently, when Charlotte told her this. “I’m always right. That’s why they pay me so much money.”
“No, they pay you so much money because you’re good at winning arguments.” Charlotte paused, frowning. “Have I just been lawyered? Are you actually wrong and just concealing it well?”
“No,” Padma said. “Because here’s the thing—and this is the last thing I’ll say about this, because Andrew is downstairs trying to teach his mom how to use TikTok, and I need to go intervene before something truly horrifying happens: I’m not trying to get you to forgive Graham forhissake. I’m doing it foryours.”
“What do you mean?” Charlotte asked, honestly befuddled, and Padma rolled her eyes, which was about as big a display of impatience as she ever offered.
“I want you to forgive him,” Padma explained, “because he messed up, and he apologized, and he’ll try to do better next time—and if he doesn’t, then you’ll know. But you’re falling in love with him—andyoudeserve another chance at that.”
“I—hmm.” This hadn’t been exactly what Charlotte was expecting from this FaceTime; Padma was, among her many other excellent qualities, a friend who was loyal to the point of implausibility—Charlotte was pretty sure she could commit a crime directly in front of her and have Padma still protest her innocence. She’d expected Padma to be firmly on her side in this Graham-versus-Charlotte situation. “Why are you taking his side?” she asked, trying not to let a plaintive note creep into her voice, feeling more than a bit pathetic.
“I’m not,” Padma said. “I’m takingyourside, because I love you, and I want you to be happy. And I think Graham might make you happy.”
And Charlotte didn’t have any sort of reply to that—because she was pretty sure that Padma was right.
A couple of days later—the day after she bought the mask that she refused to think about, sitting in her suitcase—she saw Graham at the grocery store.
Her first thought was that he looked tired; he was wandering the aisles of Waitrose, a basket in hand, wearing jeans and a fisherman’s sweater with a hole in the sleeve, his glasses slightly askew, his hair rumpled. While he didn’texactlylook like a man who had vanished down a deep well of despair—which would have been extremely gratifying—he didn’t appear to be thriving.
