Page 26 of To Woo and to Wed
“That is certainly how they interpreted it,” Sophie said. “And Mama has always said that she wanted to raise daughters who were intelligent and capable of making logical arguments. We thought they might outgrow it, but apparently…”
“Watch it!” Alexandra shrieked, flinging herself to the blanket;Blackford was not fast enough, however, and crumbs flew as he was whacked in the head by a flying loaf. The impact gave a surprisingly densethunk.
“Good God,” he muttered, rubbing at his head; without missing a beat, he seized the projectile in question and chucked it as hard as he could in the direction of Harriet, who caught it handily.
“Oh, I do like him, Alex!” she called merrily, brandishing the bread in the air.
“Well, that is rather fortunate, then,” her sister replied, “as I’ve actually a bit of news I wish to share.”
Harriet dropped her loaf of bread; a quick glance to one of the other blankets revealed that Lady Wexham was literally aquiver with anticipation.
“Robert and I”—Alexandra paused dramatically; Lady Wexham seemed in real danger of toppling forward onto her face—“are going to have a baby!” she finished, flinging a theatrical hand to her stomach.
“What?” Lady Wexham shrieked; next to her, Maria clapped her hands to her mouth in horror, then reached over and covered the ears of her infant daughter, which seemed a bit unnecessary to West, given young Charlotte’s age and general ability (or lack thereof) to comprehend spoken English in any of its complexities.
“Now, Blackford,” Lord Wexham began, “I only want for my daughter to be happy, but I can’t help thinking this isn’t the way to do things at all—a bit out of order, I must say.”
“Lord Wexham,” Blackford began; he had flushed a bright scarlet, and looked as though he wished the grass would open up beneath him and swallow him whole. “I can assure you—”
“Now, Papa,” Alexandra said, cutting off Blackford before he could say anything further, “there’s no need to come over all missish, youknow. It’s not as though I’m an innocent debutante—I’m a widow! One can hardly expect me to resist temptation when it presents itself in so appealing a guise.” She cast a rapturous look at Blackford, who had been reduced to mere sputtering.
“Surely you’re going to marry him though, Alex,” Betsy said in a hushed voice, looking mildly appalled; next to her, Covington, her husband, seemed to be trying very hard not to laugh. A quick glance sideways at Sophie confirmed a similar impulse on her part; she was gazing at Alexandra, West realized, and appeared to be having some sort of silent conversation with her sister.
That was when West caught on.
“Marriage,” Alexandra said slowly, tapping her chin. “An interesting idea, Betsy, and one that I had not yet considered—thank you so much for suggesting it!” By this point, Blackford seemed to have lost the power of speech entirely, Maria was gaping like a horrified fish as Grovecourt patted her consolingly on the shoulder, and Lady Wexham appeared to be shedding actual tears into her handkerchief.
“Alex,” Sophie said, finally seeming to decide that enough was enough—a judgment with which West rather agreed—“do you think you could stop tormenting Mama and that poor fiancé of yours?”
Alexandra flashed her elder sister a brilliant smile. “Since you asked so nicely, Soph, I suppose I could be convinced.”
Lord Wexham looked at his middle daughter hopefully. “Does that mean—?”
Alexandra sighed dramatically. “Yes, Papa, I was having you on, of course our news is that we’re engaged—Mama, for heaven’s sake, stopcrying, or I shall refuse to marry Robert out of pure spite.”
“Assuming he still wishes to marryyou, after what you have put him through for the last two minutes,” West said, and Alexandragrinned at him. Blackford, for his part, at least seemed to be breathing normally again.
“Lord and Lady Wexham,” he said, practically stumbling over his words in his eagerness to get them out, “I assure you that Alexandra was merely joking, and that everything about our betrothal has been entirely proper—”
“Now, now, darling Blackford,” said Lady Wexham, who by this point had dried her tears with her handkerchief and was giving her future son-in-law a watery smile, “so long as thereisa betrothal to speak of, I find myself much less concerned with what you two may get up to in the back of a carriage.”
“Mama!” howled three of her daughters in unison.
“Welcome to the family, Blackford,” said Lancashire, Harriet’s husband, with the weary air of a man who has been involved in a long military campaign, welcoming a fresh-faced new recruit. “And Godspeed to you.”
“Speakingof welcoming new members to the family…” Alexandra said, and she cast West a Significant Look. He immediately went still, not liking this Significant Look one bit. Violet was also exceedingly fond of Significant Looks, and he’d learned that they almost never boded well.
“Yes?” he ventured cautiously.
“Well,” she said, drawing out the word, “I just thought that if West and Sophie are to be married,andRobert and I are to be married—”
“A double wedding!” Harriet shrieked.
“Precisely!” Alexandra said brightly.
Next to West, Sophie let out the faintest groan, likely audible only to him.
“Alex!” Lady Wexham’s handkerchief was now waving in the airlike some sort of flag, so enthusiastically was she flapping her hands. “I can almost forgive you your wretched trick, my love, because this is a positivelybrilliantidea!”
