Page 12 of Marked By the Obsessed Biker
The thoughts start to whirl in my head.
Of course he’s hard; it’s an automatic reaction. It has nothing to do with me.
He said it. He wants to protect me because I’m like family.
He thinks of me as someone he has to protect. He doesn’t really want me.
But I did catch him looking at me in the bathtub. And almost instantly, I tell myself of course he looked at me. I was a naked woman practically throwing myself at him. He’s going to look.
This all goes on in my head, back and forth. I want to convince myself that he likes me and then talk myself out of it.
At one point, I shake my head to get the thoughts out. Without thinking, I press my backside against him and slowly shift my hips.
Almost instantly, his hand tightens on my breast, and he jerks behind me. He’s awake. I lie here quietly, trying to be still, but he knows I’m awake. I can just sense it.
I wait for him to move away from me or to take his palm off my breast, but he doesn’t. The tension builds inside me. I imagine him pushing me to my back and then kissing me until I’m breathless. I want that. Fuck, I want it so much.
But just when I’m sure it’s going to happen, he opens his hand first and moves it to my hip. Then he holds my hips in place as he shifts his hips backwards. He takes a deep breath, in and out, and I can feel his chest inhale and exhale behind me. It’s almostas if he’s trying to get control of himself. When he talks, his voice is thick and raspy. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Alice. I must have dozed off, and I just… fuck… I should get up.”
I feel the loss of his touch, and it’s more than just how he makes me feel. It’s a loneliness inside me. I turn so quickly I could almost get whiplash. “No. Stay.”
I know I sound weak, but I don’t want him to go. I wrap my arms around his waist, and it shifts us so we’re pressed together, front to front. “What are you sorry for?”
He doesn’t answer me, and I pressure him for more. “Grey, talk to me. What is it? Do I gross you out?”
He sucks in a breath and holds it. “No, of course not. How could you even think that?”
“Grey… please. I don’t want you to go.”
He lets out a sigh, but he’s still holding himself tensely, doing everything he can so that I don’t feel his cock anymore. I put a hand on his bare chest and lean in to him. More than anything, I don’t want him to walk out of here.
I don’t know what to do, so I start to talk. “I haven’t been held in a long time. I just need to feel alive and to feel your arms around me.”
He covers my hand with his, and his breathing is unsteady. “I’m sorry. It’s just a reaction, I would never…act on it.”
I tense. I don’t know how many different ways I need to hear him say it. He doesn’t want me. Not like I want him.
“I know. I get it.” I roll to my back and scoot away from him.
“Alice—” he starts but stops. His hand follows me across the bed, and it’s obvious he doesn’t want to let me go. I’m not sure what to make of any of this. He wants me and then he doesn’t. The ups and downs and everything in between is making me crazy.
“Grey, go ahead and go. I promise I’m fine. I’m better now.”
“Alice… I’m not leaving.”
I clench my eyes closed, and it pains me to say it, but I know I need to. “Look, Grey. It was a rough night. You saved me, and I’ll never forget it, but after I got some sleep, I’m feeling better now.”
He just lies next to me, and I can feel the indecision rolling off him. He leans toward me. “Alice, listen to me. We need to talk?—”
I force a smile to my face and try to leave the emotion out of my voice. “We don’t need to talk. I’m okay.”
“Alice.”
I say his name in frustration. “Just go, Gunner. I’m fine, and I just want to be left alone.”
He sits up slowly and moves over to the chair. I can hear him pulling on his shirt and then stepping into his jeans and sliding them up his legs. I expect him to grab his shoes and leave, but he sits back down.
When the sounds stop, I raise up and he’s sitting back in the chair, his head laid back. “Grey…”
