Page 123 of Authentically, Izzy
She pushed away from the table, breaking her contact with him. Her gaze never left his, her mind clicking through nearly five months of conversations. “Is... is that why you joined Heart-to-Heart? Because of the stipend?”
“Isabelle.”
She stood, backing away from him. “Did you?”
“No.” He came to his feet, holding her gaze. “I mean, at first I joined because I thought ‘why not’ since I had no romantic prospects at the time, but then you showed up and I... all I wanted was a chance to know you better, and then it didn’t matter about stipends or governments. All that mattered was you and me.”
She drew another step back, shaking her head, her chest aching from the effort to keep her tears at bay. This couldn’t be happening. Not Brodie. He’d been everything good and right and wonderful. “How... how can I believe you? You started dating me to earn money?”
“No. That’s not the way of it. Youmustknow it’s not, Isabelle.”
The gentle curl of his voice over every syllable in her name nearly softened her to weeping. But she stiffened against the desire. She’d learned how to wrap her emotions in coldness to make it through the remnants of a devastated relationship. She could do it now. Even with Brodie.
She would not change her whole life for a voice. Or an accent. Or sweater-vests. Not when all she’d been from the beginning was a check. The job instead of a marriage proposal? Had that been some sort of way to hold off a more permanent relationship and still gain financially? All the times she’d played the fool in the past stabbed into her paranoia. Had... had she gotten it all wrong again?
“Is that why you offered me the job? To get the stipend? To... to get me to stay?”
“No, please don’t take this any further in the wrong direction. I can see now how it may seem misconstrued, especially with your past relationships, but I offered you this job because it is what you were meant to do. You thrive in it.”
“It just so happens to also help your business.” The accusation slipped out and she cringed from the sound of it. She’d given him a lot of her ideas, a great deal of her energy, and all of her heart... for another charade?
He tilted his head, studying her. “From all you said, you seemed to want to help and I wanted to show you what I’d learned about you over the past months. I wanted you to see what you were capable of.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Perhaps I should have told you about the stipend from the beginning.”
“‘Perhaps’?”
“Would you have even gotten to know me if I had told you?” His jaw tightened. “Would you have taken a risk on seeing how well we are together?”
She looked away, twisting her fingers together in front of her. “Probably not.”
“I tried to explain on the rooftop but was interrupted.” He shifted another step closer. “And considered telling you while we were at Waithcliff, but I didn’t want you to feel I’d trapped you all the way out there without an escape. Though, I’d hoped you wouldn’t need an escape.”
“I... I gave my heart to you. I believed you, not just about romance but about me.”
“And those things are still true. All of them.” His voice gentled, pleading. “Don’t throw everything away because of this. We are well-suited for one another. Iknowyou feel that. It has nothing to do with money or anything else. It’s about two hearts. Isabelle?”
She stared up at him, half of her aching to believe him and the other half terrified of making the biggest mistake of her life. If Brodie proved as false as Dean or HWLMATA, she’d be left with a much more devastating recovery than wounded pride, a broken heart, and an unpaid wedding bill. She’d have moved countries, quit her job, and started over far away from her most ardent supporters.
“Why am I always a means to an end?” She spoke the whisper more to herself than Brodie as she backed toward the hallway. “I’ve... I’ve just wanted to be enough.” Her voice broke and she growled against the weakness. “But... but every time I find out it’s all pretend.” She searched his face. He was supposed to be different. He’d carved a way deeper into her heart, her life, than any of the others. “Oh, how I wanted you to be different.”
“I am.” He waved a hand between them. “This is. Think about all our conversations. All we’ve been through. Who could pretend for so long?”
“I dated Chip for a year and was engaged to him for another one.”
“I’m not Chip.” His words ground low. “When will you just trust what’s happening here? Trust it to be good and right and very real?”
“You’re not the one risking everything. My family. My job. My life. I want to believe you’re the type of guy who would still care about me once I’ve uprooted and you get your money, but . . .”
“The fact that you even question that...?” The gaze that met hers held a steely look. “Surely you don’t take me as the sort of person who’d play sport with your heart.”
“It certainly looks as if you’re the sort.”
His chest deflated as if her words stabbed him.
“I’m... I’m sorry, Brodie.” She’d hurt him, and instead of feeling better, her stomach churned. “Maybe I’m not what you thought, and maybe I’m... I’m not brave enough to risk everything for a hope that might be a sham. My heart isn’t strong enough for that.”
A sob shook through her as she turned from the room, her last view of Brodie’s pained expression branded into her mind. Her heart pulsed an agonizing rhythm as she ran up the stairs to her room, but her mind sifted through memories, moments—hundreds of them that beat against her doubts.
No. Wasn’t he like all the others? She shook her head. She needed to leave Skymar before her wounded heart turned right back around and stepped into a possible lie from which she may never recover.
