Page 115 of Authentically, Izzy
To: Penelope Edgewood, Izzy Edgewood, Josephine Martin
Date: June28
Subject: Re: The Book Matchmaker
Brodie and I email on a regular basis, Iz. We talk books and brainstorm some renovation ideas he has for his house. He mentioned your tour and asked if you’d shared about meeting the queen. Something simple like that, but I’ve known him long enough to almost hear the story behind that question, so you better spill the beans or I’ll ask Brodie.
Luke
PS: I know things about you and I’m not afraid to use them. Be nice to me.
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Luke Edgewood, Penelope Edgewood, Josephine Martin
Date: June28
Subject: Re: The Book Matchmaker
Cousins,
Fine! Since Luke seems to know everything about everything, I will tell you the embarrassing moment I had today at Carlstern Castle, which hopefully willneverhappen again. The castle really is amazing. And I was overwhelmed by the tapestries and the craftsmanship and the art on the ceilings. So it was quite natural that when Brodie slipped away to return a phone call for the bookshop, I kept touring. When I saw what appeared to be an early edition ofMiddlemarchthrough a cracked door in a passing room—okay, it wasn’t quite a passing room. It was across the hallway from the room I was in—but I saw bookshelves, so naturally I gravitated toward the room. In my defense the door was partially open.
It led into a breathtaking library. Two stories of books. So of course I scanned (okay, visually inventoried) some of the shelves, and that’s when I saw a woman sitting in one of the nearby chairs, staring at me. She was lovely. Soft-blonde hair, pale eyes, and posture to impress the Dowager Countess of Grantham. So I did something brilliant like say, “Isn’t this an amazing library?” to which she replied with, “Indeed.” And then we exchanged some simple banter before I made a comment about how I would rearrange the shelves to make the more popular books more accessible. I cringe to think about it now. She smiled in a very generous way. Okay, so truly she looked like she wanted to laugh. Then I mentioned that for a royal castle, their History section looked pitifully small. (Envision me with my head in my hands right now as I relive this scene.) At which time, Brodie arrived in the doorway and looked from me to the woman standing nearby, and then he did the strangest thing. Or I thought it was strange at the moment. He bowed his head, made some greeting in Caedric, and then I very clearly heard the words “Your Majesty.” Then everything clicked into place and my face grew hot enough to toast marshmallows. I’m serious. And then you all know what happened. My eyes started watering because I was so embarrassed, and Brodie thought I was going to cry. I didn’t cry. I gave some sort of curtsy, which may have looked more like the failed flight of Penelope’s rescued parakeet, Pebbles. And . . . nearly knocked over one of those stand-up globes that I found out later, thankfully, was a gift from some duke of something to the queen’s grandfather sixty years ago. I’m going to boycott globes in bookshops in the future.
Anyway, we left before I could somehow destroy the royal line, though Brodie was quick to inform me, between chuckles, that the king and queen are incredibly generous and kindheartedpeople . . . and would likely retell this story to their posterity for generations to come. I’m going to keep using the “I’m an American” excuse for as long as I can (sorry US of A).
There you have it. Now I’m going to douse my retro-embarrassment with a hot chocolate and some pepperkake from Antoinette’s. Unfortunately I’ve had the hardest time finding mint chocolate chip ice cream, but Sutherland’s has three different editions ofWuthering Heightsso I feel well prepared for the aftermath of my humiliation.
It’s almost two in the morning here in Skern. I really need to go to sleep.
Mortified,
Izzy
PS: Brodie is better than mint chocolate chip and Brontë, just so you know. He hugs. I never even made it to the second page of Brontë.
PPS: The queen kind of looked like Julie Andrews, just so you know. And I told her so, before I knew she was the queen. I don’t know if that won me brownie points or not, but it ought to have. Who doesn’t love Julie Andrews? Between Ellen, the queen, and three other ladies I met today, there’s a surprising influx of Julie Andrews look-alikes, but really... who can blame them? As Anne of Green Gables says, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Luke Edgewood, Izzy Edgewood, Josephine Martin
Date: June28
Subject: Re: The Book Matchmaker
You MET. A. QUEEN!!!! I can’t even imagine. What were you wearing? Please tell me you didn’t have on one of those bookish T-shirts of yours. You know the ones I mean. “Go away! I’m reading” or “Bookmarks are for quitters” or, the worst one, “I stopped reading to be here! Not a fair trade.” Even if you met her in a library, those do not set the best first impression for a queen. Not that I’ve ever met one, but I’ve seenThe King and Iand even performed inHamlet. There is a certain protocol, Izzy. Maybe you’ll get another chance to make a first impression. I’m sure if you meet her again, she probably won’t remember you. Royals see so many people, they can’t remember everybody.
The photos are fabulous!! The official website says that the library has over forty thousand books! I feel certain their History section is more than adequate. And did you know that Julie Andrews starred in the Broadway version ofMy Fair Lady? It’s important. She really sang her songs, unlike Audrey Hepburn. I just thought you ought to know in case someone asks you about it.
Can’t wait to see more photos!
Love,
Penelope
PS: I don’t see why you wouldn’t think you’re a part of our family, Izzy! Clearly I fuss at you like I do Josephine or Luke. In fact, most days I like you much better than either of them.
