Page 43 of Authentically, Izzy
Luke,
Do you think it’s weird to enjoy the company of someone I’ve never met in person more than about 90percent of the people I know in person? Brodie and I talked via video chat for two hours tonight. He’s so kind and funny. Sometimes, with his humor, he reminds me of you. Sarcastic and subtle, only he’s a bit gentler. He’s a big fan of P. G. Wodehouse. Have you read him before? We only have three of his books in the library and they were checked out, so I’ll have to wait until they’re returned to find out for myself. I refuse to e-read them if I can hold them in print form, you know?
Brodie’s favoriteIndiana Jonesmovie is number three, like you.
I’ve been thinking of you since you and I talked at Josephine’s. I’m glad you broke up with Clare, but I know it hurts still. Two years is a long time to be with someone. But you’d stopped doing many of the things you loved most because she demanded all of your time. If someone loves you, she should encourage you to become the best “you” you can be andsharein your dreams instead of rearranging them to her own designs. Inever realized how much I need that in someone until HWLMATA nearly stripped me of dreaming altogether.
Clare never liked the idea of you quitting accounting to go back into construction, but I can’t imagine you doing anything else. You love it so much and it shows. Always has. And though the idea of stonemasonry makes my shoulders hurt, it’s a lucrative skill, especially for someone who likes it as much as you.
You know I understand how it feels to look back on a relationship and see all the broken parts... and wonder why you allowed yourself to keep living in it. But loneliness can be a scary place until we stop being afraid to be alone with ourselves. I didn’t know that about myself, but I’m learning it.
It may sound weird, but now I know that love looks a whole lot like hours of comfortable silence on the couch together, or snort-laughing over inside jokes, or gentle words and tender compliments that warm the heart more than speed up the pulse (though those are nice too). I think if love is anything like what we’ve come to believe in our faith, we are left better and more secure than we were before. That’s what I’m looking for. And you know, I don’t think I would have appreciated it or even recognized it before now.
Maya Angelou said, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
That’s what I keep trying to believe, Luke. After everything. One more time.
You have one of the biggest hearts and most generous natures of anyone I know, even though you try to hide it. Someday you’ll be someone’s zing.
I’m really glad to hear you’re moving back to Mt. Airy. I think we should pick up on our drive-in movie routine.
Izzy
PS: What is it that William Blake says? “Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives its ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell’s despair.” In other words, “Love seeks not its own.”
PPS: The boards on the back porch may not have been the reason I tripped, but I’m glad they’re fixed now, nonetheless.
From: Luke Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March23
Subject: Re: One more time?
Instead of creating all the postscripts, why not just put the information into the body of the message? I’m still trying to understand if there’s any rhyme or reason to postscripts at this point.
You’re right about Clare. I just wish I’d seen it before I spent so much of my life with her.
I’m glad to come back home too. Already have three jobs lined up. One is building a rock fireplace for Grace Mitchell up in Ransom, which means a free meal every night.
I think you and Brodie have met through less conventional means, but the same truths still apply: two people building a relationship and trying to figure out if they are better together than apart. Despite all your teasing and self-deprecation, youhave an immensely generous heart. It’s why you truly believe in that “one more time” quote.
Someday a man will see behind your veil of introversion and catch a glimpse. Then he’ll stop at nothing to show you howhesees you—and you won’t be able to go back to anything less. You’re worth that, Izzy.
Since I’m not against e-readers, I’ve downloaded one of P. G. Wodehouse’s books and am already enjoying the humor. How’s that for teasing you?
Please never type “someday you’ll be someone’s zing” ever again. You may want to stitch it on a pillow, but all I can think about is a really bad line in a rom-com.
Luke
PS: I can’t fix your feet. Only your boards.
From: Josephine Martin
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March24
