Page 21 of Authentically, Izzy
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: March10
Subject: Imaginary boyfriends
Being “unreal” has never stopped you from liking men before. Most of your boyfriends have been fictional, if I remember right. Or at least the ones you liked the best.
I had an unhealthy crush on Harry Potter when I was younger, to the point I even turned down a perfectly good date with a boy who resembled Ron more than Harry. It is a lifelong regret.
Penelope
***
Heart-to-Heart
Date: March10
Izzy (If that is your nickname, what is your given name?),
I’ve adjusted my profile photo, but as you can see, the amount of fur I have on my winter hat makes me resemble Argos more than I thought. You may prefer the dog.
No apology is necessary. From the repeated mentions of Josie and matchmaking in your previous note, I deduced the problem and am happy to clarify your points. I am not Josie, have never been married or pregnant (though I am not averse to the first, I feel the second an impossible feat for me),andhave rarely dabbled inthe art of matchmaking, since I have such a difficult time finding a match myself. (Please note a previous message referring to my pun problem and/or chronic shyness.)
If I recall correctly, Farmer Maggot made quite a few threats of sending his dogs after garden poachers, so I do believe hobbits have dogs. Whether they are miniature dogs to fit the size of their owners or not I cannot say, but I feel certain Tolkien would oblige us, if he could.
Argos is indeed an English shepherd and despite his proclivity for destroying my footwear, he has the best personality, allowing my two-year-old nephew all sorts of liberties of ear-pulling and tail-catching Gandalf would never have permitted. Gandalf was an Irish wolfhound. In fact, his appearance reminded me a great deal of the wizard, though I never succeeded in getting him to wear a pointy hat. I am attaching a photo of Gandalf for your reference. If you find a friend for Samwise, you must name him Frodo. I don’t see how you can do anything else. As for the breed, anything with hairy feet and a determined jaw should fit the mark, don’t you think?
And, as to your comment regarding “speaking nonsense to a stranger,” I’ve not felt as though you are a stranger since our first communication. There is something immediately comfortable in meeting another avid reader. A companionship of words and shared worlds that I find difficult to emulate with nonreaders. So let’s say you were “speaking nonsense to a friend” and go on from there. In an effort to secure that friendship idea, I will clarify even more.
My name is Brodie Callum Sutherland, though in my part of the world the surname is sometimes spelled in its Gaelic form, Sutharian. I’m thirty-four and am a business owner on Skymar, an island country that has been a part of England, Scotland, and the Netherlands at one point in time or another. We are considered a constitutional monarchy now and are keen on celebrating andpoking fun at our royal families as avidly as most places with royal families do.
The mountains near my home are called the Alnors and they resemble your round-topped Blue Ridge Mountains when not covered in snow. My family owns a growing business of which my eldest brother, Anders, and I are business partners, but our mother proves therealhead of things, as mothers have a tendency to be.
I have two younger sisters. Isla, who is married and has two young children, and Fiona, who is only thirteen and would have put your “verbal tirade” to shame. I am not fond of coffee but am ridiculously attached to tea and Victorian sponge cake. I usually enjoy walks, but Argos is trying to turn me into a runner. I prefer the lifestyle of a hobbit in that regard. I live outside of one of the most popular cities on our island, but that is not an impressive size, and prefer the country space to a crowded town, though I enjoy visiting cities.
There you have it, a rather unimpressive overview, if I do say so myself, but my brain is of admirable soundness, the landscape out my windows is some of the best, and my family proves even better.
Your turn,
Brodie
PS: “It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” (I’ll let you guess where this quote originates.)
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood, Luke Edgewood
Date: March11
Subject: I know nothing
Maybe Josie IS as conniving as I previously thought.
I’m forwarding Brodie’s newest message. He’s too perfect. How can he be a real person?
A single, thirtysomething, book-loving, humorous, foreign man? I think he may have hit every check mark on my internal wish list that I’ve only ever mentioned to God! Not even Santa!
