Page 83 of A Fate Unwoven
No. She couldn’t think about that now. Because if she did, then she’d also think about how she’d taken a life for him. About how she’d almost given up her sanity just so he survived. She might not have loved him in the way he wanted her to, but she still cared. More than she wanted to admit.
And it had almost cost her everything.
“You’re not fine,” Maia insisted. “You haven’t been since you became the Fateweaver. Iska said the person who attacked you at the church was a member of theHæsta.Is that true?”
Lena’s breath caught. “Iska told you that?” It seemed unlikely, given the promise they’d all made to keep what had happened at the temple a secret until they’d decided on their next move.
“Ah, notexactly.I sort of … overheard her and Brother Dunstan whispering at the church.” Her cheeks flushed. “When you were late coming back, I got worried, so I waited for them and then … sort of … listened in on their conversation.”
“Maia—”
“I know, I know, but I was careful. And it was worth it.”
Maia grinned and reached into the woolen cloak around her shoulders, pulling out a piece of parchment. Lena’s gaze skimmed over it. At first glance, it looked like a page of gray charcoal, but when Maia held it up to the light, Lena saw … words. Dozens of them, and at the bottom, its sharp angles now as familiar to her as the mark on her wrist, was the symbol of theHæsta.
Lena’s heart hammered against her rib cage. “Where did you get this?”
“I saw it in one of the texts the acolytes made us study, and when I heard Iska mention theHæsta,what they almost made you … do, I wanted to help. They were talking about some sort of ritual that could help you find the cult, but Lena, it sounds really dangerous.” Tears filled Maia’s eyes once more, and she furiously blinked them away. “I … I thought maybe something in the books we’d studied would help us find another way. I only managed to copy a few pages before I had to leave, but if there’s nothing useful, I can get more. I can—”
“Maia,” Lena said, her voice thick with her own unshed tears. “We don’t have time to find another way.”
Despite how much she longed to confide in her, Lena couldn’t tell Maia that she’d been planning to sever her bond to Dimas, and that, if the warning the cryptic note she’d received was true, she had to do sobeforethe Rite of Ascension. She couldn’t tell her about Casimir, or Verlond, or how damned afraid she was of it all. Lena couldn’t tell heranything.Not without Maia wanting to get involved.
But Lena also couldn’t let her friend think there was an easy way out of this; if, by some miracle of the Sisters, Lena succeeded in breaking her bond to Dimas before the Rite of Ascension tomorrow night, then she’d be an enemy of theHæsta—and the Wyrecian Empire. A heretic of the worst kind, her only ally a foreign smuggler with a habit of withholding the truth and whose allegiance stood with a queen who might very well decide to kill Lena.
And if Lena failed (which was looking increasingly probable with every day that passed), then her choices were a life on the run and a slow descent into madness, or becoming the very thing she’d hated her whole life. And whilst Dimas’s people might be safe from theHæsta’s wrath should their plan to find them work, the people of the Wilds—Lena’speople—would continue to suffer.
Maia reached for her, eyes wide. “We can make time—”
“No, Maia. The decision has been made.”
Lena hated how harsh her voice sounded. How commanding. But if pushing Maia away was what she had to do to keep her safe, then she’d gladly pay that price.
Maia crumpled the paper in her hand, lips trembling. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Tears burned the back of Lena’s eyes. “You won’t. Dimas needs me to rule; he wouldn’t do the ritual if he thought it’d put my life at risk.”
Of that, at least, Lena was sure. But her sanity, herwill,was another matter.
“Do you promise?” Maia’s voice was small, barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid of the answer. As if she knew the response would be a lie even before Lena spoke.
The reply stuck in her throat just as the presence of another set of threads brushed against her senses. She recognized the feel of them by now, warm like the kiss of early-morning sunlight through the trees.
Casimir.
Good. She’d need him for what came next. First, though, she had to get Maia out of the way.
“I promise.”
Lena kissed the top of Maia’s head, breathing in the scent of her once more, imprinting it into her memory. If Lena got into the sealed chamber tonight, this might be the last time Lena ever saw her. It took all of Lena’s willpower to walk toward the door and force a smile onto her face.
To say, with a steady voice, “It’s late. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Lena hoped it was true with every ounce of faith she had left. Hoped that if she somehow managed to break her bond to Dimas tonight and flee Wyrecia, that she’d find a way to take Maia—and even Finæn—with her.
It was a foolish hope, but it was all she had left.
It was only when the door to her chambers clicked shut that Casimir stepped out of the shadows. For a few minutes, neither of them spoke.
