Page 51 of A Fate Unwoven
She should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy.
With a knowing dip of his head, Brother Dunstan commanded, “Again.”
She practiced for the next hour, holding her breath until she thought she might faint, letting the icy sensation of the Fateweaver’s magic spread a little farther each time. She had lost count of how many breaths she’d taken. Of how many times she’d gained a modicum of control just to lose it again.
Her dress was soaked through with sweat by the time Brother Dunstan finally ordered her to stop and called Iska and Maia back inside.
“This has been a promising start,” he said as Iska handed Lena a cup of water. “The more you practice, the longer your control will last. When you can maintain control for longer than a few seconds, we will move on to more … advanced work. For tonight, you shall rest. Now, if you will excuse me, I must retire to the church. Lady Maia, shall I escort you to your dormitory, or do you wish to stay a little longer?”
Maia wrapped her arms around herself, looking suddenly small in the shadows. “I’d … like to stay, please.”
“Very well. Just ask one of the guards posted outside when you wish to return.” The priest gave Maia a small, kind smile before leaving the room.
Iska bowed her head and followed after the priest without looking back. The door to the Fateweaver’s chambers clicked shut a moment later, leaving Lena and Maia alone for the first time since they’d arrived at the palace.
Lena suddenly felt uncomfortable. It was easy to hide her true motivations from Maia when there were other people around, but now that it was just the two of them, the urge to tell her everything was almost impossible to ignore.
Instead, she got to her feet, her muscles aching with the effort. “How are you feeling? Dimas said the healer gave you some herbs?”
“Yes, I’m to take them twice a day. It’s a little soon to tell if they’ll work, but I do feel a little brighter.”
“Good, that’s …” Lena paused. Took a deep breath as the words she’d been wanting to say since Dimas had used Maia against her spilled from her mouth. “I’m so sorry I got you involved in all of this, little wolf.”
Maia closed the space between them, took Lena’s hands into her own. “No.You don’t apologize. If anyone is to blame, it’s my brother.” Hurt flashed in Maia’s green eyes. “I’m sorry he betrayed you.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena shook her head. “That isn’t your apology to make.”
Maia smiled even as tears limned her eyes. “Aright, but I still want to help you. I’m going to learn everything I can about your—about the Fateweaver’s magic. It might take a while; my first day with the novitiates involved a lot of praying and trying to memorize passages of text. I don’t understand most of it, but I can read enough to get by.”
Maia’s mother had insisted Lena’s mother teach Maia and Finæn to read alongside Lena. Kelia had never explained whereshe’dlearned, but she’d been more than willing to share her knowledge with anyone who would listen.
“Anyway,” Maia continued, saving Lena from the painful memory of her mother. “The passages we’ve been given mostly just contain stuff about theZværnaOrder’s origins, their duties … there’s nothing much in them about the Fateweaver’s abilities.” Maia paused, pulling her lower lip between her teeth in the way she did when she was nervous. “What does it feel like? Your … magic?”
The question caught Lena off guard. “It’s … hard to explain,” Lena said, searching for the right words to describe it. “It doesn’t really feel like mine, I guess.”
Nothing did these days. Her mother’s legacy was the last part of herself Lena was truly sure of, and now that had been taken from her, too.
“Is that why you’re fighting it?” Maia asked.
Lena sighed. “I guess. I don’t know.” She couldn’t talk about this. Not without putting Maia in more danger than she already had. Lenagot up from her seat and started toward the door. “I’m going to get some sleep. You should, too. You need the rest.”
She was a few feet from the door when Maia said, “You’re doing it again.”
Lena paused. “Doing what?”
“Pushing me away. I know you want to protect me, but you can’t do everything by yourself.”
“I don’t mean to.” Lena’s throat felt tight, her words hoarse.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were aboda?”
Lena had known the question was coming. It was inevitable, really, and even if she had enough control over her power to alter Maia’s threads, to shift this conversation in another direction, Lena wasn’t sure she would. Because a part of herwantedMaia to ask. Because, somewhere deep down, Lena was tired of hiding from the people she loved.
“I guess I was afraid.” She couldn’t look at Maia as she said it.
“Afraid of what?”
“That you’d see me differently. You know what most of the people in the Wilds think of theboden.If people knew, they’d have cast me out.”
