Page 65 of Fortress of Ambrose
“How could you still think that after tonight?”
“I’m not going to just hand over the Order to them, Quell.”
“No one said that! Why does your mind jump to the worst possible scenario?”
He looks at me as if to say,Have you seen where I grew up?“I need sleep, I think. I’m sorry.” He grunts, pulling his shirt down.
“What happened in there?”
He sighs.
“Nope, we’re beyond keeping secrets. You said so yourself.”
The green in Jordan’s eyes darkens. I lace my hands together in my lap to keep from touching him.
“I did what you said. I tried using it.”
“And—”
He jabs a thumb backward, and I turn in my seat to look at the Gents Wing behind us. A section of the estate is caved in.
“Is that yourroom?Jordan.What came over you?”
“I don’t know. I visualized myself using it like I would proper magic, and then I blacked out.”
My heart stutters.My magic’s never done that…
“The Sphere’s magic inside me isn’t working for me like it worked for you. Something is off, I don’t know. And then there’s what the Healer said.”
“The first time you use it—”
“I know you think you know, but, Quell, I’m telling you the sheer volume of magic pumping through my body is hitting me differently. I can’t explain it.” He tucks his elbow at his side. “It’s not your fault. I don’t mean to sound harsh.”
“You don’t sound harsh. You sound frustrated.”
“I am.” He walks, meandering, restlessly. I’ve never seen him this out of sorts. This out of control.
“What did the Healer say?”
“That toushana is driven by emotion. That what it urges me to do is what I want to do, deep down.”
That makes so much sense. My toushana has always urged me to protect myself, even when I didn’t have the courage to.
“Vandalizing this estate, my toushana lashing out to hurt you—” he says.
“No, Jordan. The damage to your room was on purpose. The magic lashing out was spontaneous. I bet the toushana is restless, that’s all. I really believe that.” He settles back on the bench beside me, and I slide closer to him.
But he slides away. “I’m not sure what you believe is enough anymore. I fear I won’t be here to protect you from whatever’s ahead.”
“Youcan’tsay things like that. If nothing else makes it out of this mess, you and my magicwill!”
Jordan’s brow creases, and I realize I have been too honest. I allow silence to settle between us. I toss him a bag of candy that I found in the kitchens.
“What about you?” He tears the bag open. “Are you doing better being back here?”
“I try not to think about it.”
“Quell, you are technically a Headmistress. You’re going to have to face that eventually.”
