Page 53 of Fortress of Ambrose
“I can do it,” I tell him, trying to convince myself more than him. After all, this is where I met Abby and Jordan. This is where I bound with toushana at my Cotillion. This is where I realized I may not know fully who I want to be. But whoever I become, I will be free.
I reshoulder my bag. We take the meandering route around to the east side of the estate. The winding pavers take us past what used to be the rose garden. It’s so overgrown, a dome of weeds has formed. Jordan keeps in step with me. The garden is enclosed by a chain hung with a lock. The dark roses peeking through the weeds twist in my direction as we walk past.
We reach the conservatory, and Jordan and I share a glance. It’s where we spent time together, where he transformed the space into a beach with a tiny white house—my mother’s and my forever dream—so that I could be inspired to pass Second Rite.
He walks so close to me my fingers reach for a touch. The backs of our hands brush. He doesn’t move away, and that tells me more than anything he could say right now. Knox and the others continue toward the towering entrance of the estate. My feet are still lead. The fountain sculpture beyond the conservatory, of the mother with two little girls at her feet, is covered in so many weeds I can hardly see stone beyond the tangle of roses. I never looked at it closely before. Jordan follows me to it, fending off an attempted interruption by Dimara.
For Moriette
My grandmother’s only sister. There are three stone figures. The littlest one must be Moriette. The taller girl, my grandmother, and the woman: their mother. My family. My legacy. All dead.So much death.I back away from the statue just as Dexler comes rushing outside with her hands full of her skirt. Jordan and I join the others at the entrance.
“Quell!” She plows into me, swallowing me in a hug, and as much as I expect to be put off, it feels nice. She is warm and soft and smells like the cinnamon treats Mrs.Cuthers used to keep on her desk. I rest on her shoulder, embracing her. She is the closest connection I have left to any of my family. I hold on tighter.
When we release the hug, she holds my face before hugging me again, and I can’t help but smile. There are real tears welling in her eyes.
“Our Headmistress has come home. I havesomany questions…” She rattles on, but my heart turns in my chest. All the warm feelings bleed cold, agitating my toushana. I clear my throat, hesitant to disappoint her so soon. But I haven’t come here to be Headmistress.
Dexler looks at me with such hope, and I want to tell her,Everyone I know dies. Their deaths hover like a storm cloud I’m not sure I’ll ever fully be rid of. How does that make me fit to lead a place like this? A place in much need of help. But I can’t bear to crush her, so I keep my mouth shut.
“I’m Maezre Dexler, ninth of my blood, master Cultivator, curriculum regent of House of Marionne. I was Quell’s instructor when she was here.” Dexler’s diadem appears from her tidied gray hair, its silver and opal gems duller than I remember. She offers a hand to Willam, but he ignores it. So she offers the hand to Dimara instead.
“Dimara, of no one’s blood, fair cook and cleaner, expert at escaping Draguns, family of Knox and Willam’s safe house.” She picks her teeth. “Did I do it right?”
Kedd laughs. Rein frowns. “I’m Rein, pleased to meet you. I grew up in a safe house, so I’m not quite sure how’s proper, but…” She curtsies and almost tips over. “We are grateful to be here.”
“Speak for yourself,” Dimara spits.
“Enough,” Willam says. “I’m Willam.”
Dexler gazes up at him with a look that suggests something is stuck in her throat.
“And I am Knox.” She and Dexler, who’s gone as white as a ghost, shake hands “These are my family. We have all lived in safe houses before here.”
“I, uh, you…Right. Well. Quell?” Dexler hooks her hands behind her back.
“Could you show me where I’ll be sleeping?” Knox says, cutting the awkward silence. “It’s been a long couple days, and I’m tired.”
Jordan moves away from me toward the doors of the estate, and I reach for him without thinking, grabbing his arm. He stills at my touch. My heart aches, but I snatch my hand away.
He clears his throat. “I’m going to see if my old room is intact,” he says.Alone, he means.He hasn’t said much about his pain from the wound, but when he doesn’t know anyone’s around, I hear him groan. Jordan skirts past Willam, who hasn’t yet said a word about calling on his Healer, with a harsh glance on his way inside.
“There aren’t many ready guest rooms, but I have a few session rooms I may be able to clear.” Dexler leads the way inside, and Knox and Willam trail behind the others with me.
“Welcome to House of Marionne,” I say to them. We proceed in silence. “Well?”
“This proves nothing,” Willam says.
“That’s harsh,” Knox says.
“We had an agreement,” I say.
“I didn’t give you an answer, Quell. You assumed your goodwill would force one.” He walks off to break up an argument between the twins.“You—!”
“Give it time.” Knox sets a hand on my arm. “Now, which room is mine?” She smiles in a way I don’t think I’ve ever seen. “Being here in any other circumstance would be a death wish. This is a relief, I admit.”
Maybe coming here won’t end in complete disaster.
Twenty-Three
