Page 121 of Fortress of Ambrose
“It is not right. But that is the narrative. It seems his boldness is inspiring more dissenters.”
Shewas the boldest Ambrose. But she’d had to make up an entire persona to confidently be that person. Her maid suggested that being bold would fracture the House. Winkel was suggesting boldness projects strength. Which was it? It wasn’t possible to please everyone. She could hear Drew’s urging to their aunt rattling around in her head.Stand for something.
She eyed the drab gray walls as they passed.I will show them, in small ways, just who I am.
“Do you know where my brother is?” She knew she needed to ask the question, though she dreaded the answer.
“I do not.” As someone passed, he pulled Nore along to keep walking. When they were fully out of earshot, he said, “Consider talking to your mother. She’s been through much of this.”
She wasn’t going to tell him no to his face. Talking to Isla wasn’t just having a conversation with the woman who gave birth to her, it was reliving the heartless pain she caused. Nore nodded and showed Winkel to his seat at the simply set table just as the first course was being served.
Panic ricocheted around in her mind like a bullet. Shedidneed to talk to someone about all this. Someone she could trust who was both discreet and wise.
She knew who.
Priest Winkel’s words about boldness stuck to Nore’s ribs like hunger, no matter how much she ate. After dinner she joined the staff for drinks. It brought a few nervous glances, but by the fourth cup of kiziloxer, the awkwardness faded and a magic-off ensued. At one point there was music. And when she left, she’d managed to get Ainsley to agree to stay longer and take the night off. Nore dragged herself back to her room. Her first day at really being Headmistress was a lot. And she’d actually had fun with the maezres, House secretary, and maids. But was it enough?
When she arrived at her room to get ready for bed, the lights were all out. There was no fire lit. Ice skidded up her spine as she felt her way through the darkness to flip on a lamp. When she reached in the direction of it, it fell. She blinked, and only the moon’s light dusting the windows gave her any form in the shapeless darkness.
She crossed the room, stumbling into a chair and something else that moved through her bones like the gust of a winter storm. The toushana in her tremored. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt the dark magic awaken in her. It was such a small nudge, she wondered if she’d felttwinges of it many times and just ignored it. When the log she was trying to light erupted into flames, the room glowed. She stood and exhaled, then turned.
And came face-to-face with the dead.
Air punched out of her lungs. Dark shadows moved everywhere, slinking along the room. One sat on her bed toying with the cord of the lamp shattered on the ground. Darkness closed around her like a cloud, and it felt like suffocating. Her toushana wriggled in her chest. But she wasn’t sure what to do about it. She started at the depthless, faceless shadow hovering before her and cleared her throat, remembering her talk with Winkel. He made it sound like they could understand her, even if they couldn’t communicate back.
“Can I help you?”
She felt a nudge at her back pushing her to walk. She followed as the ancestors led her to the window.
Letters wrote themselves on the snow-covered glass.
Grow the magic
“You want me to grow the toushana inside me?”
The lights in her room flickered.
“Okay.” What else could she say? She didn’t want to imagine what they would do to her if she didn’t. They hadher heart. “Okay, I will.”
The doors to her room flung open, and the darkness departed like a night breeze. She hurried to close them, when Ainsley appeared to tuck her in.
“Headmistress, are you okay? You’re pale!”
Nore threw her arms around the maid in a tight hug. She’d never felt more in a cage.
“You’re shaking, miss.”
“I want it out of me. I want it out of me now!” Her chest heaved. She had to concentrate to slow her breath. She could be the ancestors’ pawn,or she could get this magic out of her and find a way to live. She needed the final piece of the Immortality Scroll. The House of Duncan piece, wherever it was. She needed an insurance plan.
She’d fought too hard to have a life that wasn’t hers.
She would say what she must to get by. She would play the game of winning Ambrose loyalty, appeasing the ancestors, praying to the gods. But she would plot her escape.
“I need him, Ainsley.”
Her maid nodded before rushing off.
When Yagrin appeared at her door, she wanted to run into his arms. But she had to be careful with his heart.
