Page 98 of Fortress of Ambrose
“Around,” Willam says. “Hiding.” Willam touches the spot above histattoo, and I notice a tiny stenciled star drawn there. “A beacon in the dark.”
“No more communication with them. For now.”
Willam nods.
“Speak up,” Jordan says.
Willam scowls. “No communication. Understood.”
“And it’s not my business, but it seems like you should tell Dimara and the others the truth that Knox uses magic,” I say. If some of them can still reach magic, they deserve to know that’s an option.
“I don’t like this,” Jordan mutters. As I’m about to respond, Dexler bursts through the doors of the Chateau with cracked glasses on her face and her dress’s skirt singed.
“You’re needed inside, Quell. There’s some serious disagreement among everyone over rooms. It’s getting heated.”
“We need to be very careful with these two,” Jordan whispers to me, and I hardly hear what Dexler is saying. “They lied to you.Convincingly.”
“You can see remorse all over Knox’s face.”
“I see regret for getting caught,” Jordan says. There’s something that’s hardened even more in him in the last day. And I can’t put my finger on it.
“That is heartless, and you know it.”
Knox at least is sorry. That I know for sure. But sorry doesn’t erase the damaged trust. With the world in pieces, trust is the only thing we have. And ours has been cracked. That has to be rebuilt. “We’re not arguing about this here in front of everyone.”
“Quell?” Dexler blinks, waiting for a response, but my heart races as I try to fend off panic.
What if Willam has trusted someone who is as good at lying as he is?
If Willam has worked with Darkbearers, did Zecky?
We can’t get toushana out of Jordan or save magicwithouthelp. We have to trustsomeone.
“I’m sorry, Maezre, Jordan and I have a lot to discuss. Things just got far more complicated. I’m sure you can sort out the issue. Maybe Knoxcan help.” I rush past all of them, to a side entrance of the estate, with Jordan on my heels and Willam’s confession still burning my ears.
When Jordan and I are alone in the dorm I’ve been using, I burst into tears.
“What are we doing?” I say. “All these people are here. We don’t know who we can trust. The two people we thought we could trust have been keeping this major secret. And—my mother isalive, Jordan.”
He stills. And I tell him everything my mother and I discussed: how the Dragunhead wants both of us and how my grandmother actuallyhidthe débutants she accidentally gave dark magic to. My heart rams in my chest harder, and Jordan touches his chest.
“Is she okay? Are they all okay? Does she want to come here?”
“She vowed to my grandmother, before she died, that she’d protect Nova Misa for the rest of her life. They both agreed the House was my—” The walls suddenly feel like they’re closing in. I sit in the nearest chair.
“Quell, breathe.” His hand hovers near me, and I would give anything to nestle against it. Words fail me. I need his comfort. I need him to hold me. I need something buzzing through my body besides anxiety.
He is hardly breathing when he dries a tear from my cheek. “Is this okay? Do you feel anything?”
The tenderness of his touch makes my heart thud stronger. He holds his hand there against my skin, and I savor it, not daring to ask for more. Not willing to tempt fate to rip away this moment, too. I inhale, letting the scent of him drown the erratic panic in my veins. Closer—I want him closer. This distance feels like my heart beating outside of my body. Like a hug with one arm, instead of two.
I lean against his hand, unable to resist, melting into his embrace. He’s rigid with fear, but he lets himself hold me. His free hand strokes my hair. I don’t speak, afraid to shatter this stolen moment between us.
When he lets me go, I can still feel his heart pounding in his chest. He puts more space between us. “You’re okay. I—it was okay.”
“You used toushana so strongly out there. It probably helped satisfy it.”
“I didn’t mean to.” He pales. “It just bled out of me instinctually. I told myself to trust it. But I was afraid it might…I don’t know.”
