Page 80 of Fortress of Ambrose
“Should I get us tea?” she finally asks.
“Sure.”
As hard as it is to face her words, they suture me back together. I wouldn’t have found my own footing with her. The trouble I went through pushed me to discover who I was. Who I am.
When my mother returns with hot cups, I sort through the memories of the harsh grandmother I knew. The mother who left me to fend for myself, burying herself in a lie. And I hold the cup so tightly, my skin burns against the porcelain.
“You let me believe a lie while you live here, hiding.”
“A sacrifice. Your grandmother wanted to work on getting the Immortality Scroll for you, if worse came to worst, so she needed me here. The girls here were not born with the privilege of our name. This is the only safe place for them, until the world out there changes.” She takes my cup from me and holds both of my hands. “Again, I’m so sorry.”
My mother pours another cup of tea. It wouldn’t be what I would have chosen, but I understand it. We drink and chat about the silliest things for the longest while. I tell her about how much I love dancing. How much I love Jordan. And somehow I admit we’ve kissed. That part is embarrassing.
Then the conversation shifts to where I’ve been andhowI’ve been. And what I am doing here now. I update her on everything about my time at Hartsboro, the battle at the Sphere, teaming up with Nore and Yagrin to find the Scroll, Darkbearers after Jordan, and retreating to the Chateau with Willam’s safe house family, talking until my mouth is dry. She doesn’t interrupt. At one point she clutches her chest.
She takes a sip before setting her tea down. “You mentioned Darkbearers are after Jordan. It sounds to me like theDragunheadis looking foryou.”
“What makes you say that?”
“He sent a letter to your grandmother before she died, forme, looking foryou, while you were at Hartsboro, I suppose. Dexler recovered it. Do you have any idea what he would want with you?”
“None.”
“You arestrong, daughter. Bound to toushana with a heart for people. He wants the power that lives in you, I bet.”
“Well, he won’t have it.”
“The Dragunhead is dangerous, Quell. When we fled Chateau Soleil that first night, I thought we’d sleep in a Tavern, that somewhere magical would be safer. But when I snuck into a warehouse back room, the Dragunhead was there. As if he’d beenwaitingfor me. At first, I thought your grandmother had sent him to arrest me for kidnapping you or something ridiculous.” She hugs around herself. “I tried to leave, but he forced me to sleep there while he watched. When I woke he was gone. Your grandmother also told me that he made not one buttwovisits to House of Marionne over the years while we were gone. Youmuststay far away from him.”
A breath of silence passes between us.Another who wants to use me.
“You are welcome to stay here. Jordan could come, too.Butmy legacy is here;yoursis out there. You have the choice what it will be. It’s your life.”
Toushana curls in my chest, comforting me.
“I could never repay—”
My mother’s finger touches my lips. “Hush that foolishness.” Her love radiates through me, and I’m warm all over. She has sacrificed so much for me, living her life on the run and now serving here. My grandmother, too. But there is no regret in her, only relief.
Perhaps sacrificing for the person you loveisn’ta burden.
Perhaps it’s a choice.
And everyone should be free to make their own choices.
The way my grandmother and mother chose me. They sacrificed to give me the power to make my own choices. To choose myself and fight for who I want to be.
What do I want?
With so many clamoring to use me, it’s time to make decisions. And own them.
“What do you choose, darling?”
The weight of the world is on my shoulders, so many people’s expectations.Save the magical world. Repair the ancestral House. Bring justice. Broker peace.My legacy will be mine because that is freedom.
“I choose love.”
I choose Jordan.
