Page 56 of Fortress of Ambrose
I let it go. Too much, too fast. First we need to heal him.
Jordan lifts his shirt to examine his side. Purpled, blackening skin hugs his ribs.
“I wonder if, since you’re not feeding the Sphere’s toushana enough, it’s feedingon you.”
Jordan gazes into the fire. “I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Like I’m not in control. Do you know how long it’s taken me to findsome measureof control in my life?” Flames dance in his eyes, and it’s the first time in a long time I’ve seen him look scared.
Nightmares from Hartsboro flash through my memory, and it draws me a step closer to him.
“This could kill me, Quell. The pain radiates through me so often now it’s become how I expect to feel each day. I’m not sure how much longer I can—”
I settle a hand, fingertips first, on his back. His heart pounds, but he doesn’t shrug my touch away, so I lay my full hand on him, right beneath his shoulders. They sink, and I press my body against the back of him, holding him. He sucks in a breath at the suddenness of my hug and becomes rigid.
“It’s okay. This near to a fire, I think it’s okay.”
He swallows and allows me to rope my arms around him, carefully hooking them. His panic thuds through my body.
“It’s okay to be afraid,” I tell him, because I don’t think anyone’s ever told him something like that before.
“When it pours out of me, it brings out something in me that…” He shakes his head.
“Trust yourself more than you do.”
He takes one of my hands, accepting this gesture of comfort, ignoring his worry for a second. And it feels like hearingI love youfor the very first time. He presses my hand tightly to his chest. I nestle closer to him, remembering when he saw my rose gold diadem in the ballroom just paces away. And though he only had half a picture of who I was then,he admired my power and strength. A strength he clings to now with his fingers laced in my grip.I have missed this.Holding the person I love. Being this close to the only person alive who loves me back.
“We tempt fate, lingering like this.” He unfolds himself from me, and before I can protest Dexler’s voice rings behind us.
“Willam and Knox are waiting.”
Dexler cleared her desk for the meeting. Willam and Knox sit across from us. The air in the room is more rigid than a whale-boned corset.
“Were you able to get a quick nap?” I ask to break the ice.
“Not easily. But we made the best of it.”
“I apologize the House isn’t in a more fit shape for guests.” I dig a nail into my palm, realizing I’m apologizing for someone else’s mess.
“The House was abandoned. Of course it’s not in its best shape,” Willam says, and my cheeks burn. Knox glares at him. I stomach the dig.
“How about we just skip to it?” I say. “While we’re here, you’ll be expected to help out.”
“We assumed,” Knox says.
“And part of helping out is seeing what we need and usingyourskills, yourresources,to get them.”
Willam mutters something, but before I can push, Jordan asks, “How certain are you that Dimara, the twins, Rein, and Kedd can’t access magic?”
Willam’s nostrils flare. “We don’t use magic. It’s not safe.”
“How do you know they don’twantto learn magic, Willam?”
“You overstep, Jordan.” He braces his elbows on the desk.
“I don’t think I have,” Jordan says, matching Willam’s posture. “I’m not sure I’ve stepped far enough.”
I grab Jordan’s arm and squeeze. He’s cold. So very cold. His anger burns in my chest.
“It’s a valid question,” I say, trying to reassert some common ground. “But we won’t force what we think on you.”
