Page 160 of Fortress of Ambrose
“Why would the Dragunhead help Ellery?”
“Maybe he’s nothelping Elleryso much as he’s workingagainstQuelland Jordan. He wants what they have—the Sphere’s magic. And we’re on their side.”
Are we?“Listen, we need to get rid of the Pact first, then we find a way to get out of here. This isn’t our war.”
Nore looks past him and says something that shakes him to his core. “I’m not sure I’m ready to just get up and leave. So soon. Can you? Honestly?”
He wanted to say yes, that none of this mattered to him. That he didn’t care about helping her lead an ancestral House. That he didn’t value what Winkel saw in him. That building a House on principles Nore believed in wasn’t one of the most thrilling ideas he’d ever heard. But Yagrin knew how to run. He knew how to shove down feelings and take what he wanted for himself. Could he really do that now?
“What are you saying?” he asked.
“I think there’s something here for me, maybe? If I want that, Pact or no Pact, does that mean you would go?” She pulled her hair over her shoulder, braiding it. “You, of course,couldandshouldif you want to.”
“Nore, I’m with you. Whoever you are. Even if that’s a Headmistress.” The admission fell out of his mouth before he’d thought about what it really meant. How he’d spent his life hating the Order. And now loving her meant being right in the thick of it, trying to make it better. But it was true. He was in this with her, for better or worse.
She cradled his cheek, and he cherished the touch.
“Well, there’s also this.” She sat back on her bed and handed him the note she was stewing over when he arrived.
Jordan and I and a few others are en route to Dlaminaugh.
We need your help.
—Headmistress Quell Janae Marionne
“This is good news.”
She didn’t look so sure. But his hope was bright. Perhaps fate was finally on his side.
Sixty-Three
Quell
When Jordan leaves breakfast, I race to the healing ward to find Abby. She’s in her office soaking a set of stones in a clear liquid.
“Quell? I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t have time for your too-late apologies now. You should have told me.”
“He is the holder of the source of the world’s darkest magic!” Abby grabs my arms, nails digging in. “I advised him honestly. I tried to help. What more did you want me to do?”
“I wanted you to risk something to do the right thing, Abby. To not think about where helping him could get you.”
“Don’t make this about that. I deserve to try to survive this worldyou and hebroke. You don’t get to take that from me!” she fumes.
Isn’t that what we all are doing here? Every person in this House is trying to sort through the chaos and find some ember of hope to cling to. To survive. The clench of my fists loosens. I peel Abby’s grip off my arm and squeeze her hand. Being on Jordan’s good side was the boon she found at the expense of our friendship. It wasn’t fair to expect her to choose between that and survival.
“I hadn’t thought about it that way.”
Her eyes water. “Do you have any idea how terrifying it’s been keeping that secret? Trying to pretend like I knew nothing, so he wouldn’tcall me disloyal? And my one friend, I never got to see. If I did, it was a passing glance. You were absorbed in something else. And younevercame to visit me.”
I was so consumed with my own survival. She is right.
“And after what Mynick did to me, I felt like I didn’t have a friend in the world. Jordan and Dexler checked in on me. No one else.” She blotted her face, drying tears. “The silence from you, theHeadmistress,while reading the headlines was…” She hugs around herself.
Hearing my title pokes me like a knife in the ribs. That’s what people see when they look at me now. A House. Power. Someone in control of freedoms and fates.
“I’m sorry,” she goes on. “This isn’t just about me. That’s not what I’m saying.” She sobs, and I pull her into a hug.
