Page 26 of Ashes of Gold
His beautiful eyes smile at me. I look away.
“I’m gonna keep looking for Bati. I want to see what he knows and I need to find any spell books they have here.” I put even more space between us, finding surer footing.
He peers through the crowd, looking too. He’s a good foot taller than me, so I imagine he can see a whole heck of a lot more. His brows dent. Then he waves over someone. A brawny man parts the crowd, carrying a piece of armor. He hands it to Jhamal.
“Thank you, coquella.”
They grip arms.
“Shaun, did you ever get to meet Jelani?”
“No. Jelani, good to see you are well.” I can’t tell if he means it, but I greet him as pleasant as I can. We give each other a nod. I grimace at the icky feeling sloshing through me. I look for some other corner of the room to hide in. I need a moment to myself. If I fall aparthere, if guilt erodes me from the inside out, I’ve only failedagain. I’ve only brought more death upon my home.
“Have you seen Bati?” I ask Shaun, and the way he shakes his head tells me he isn’t gone. I clutch my chest in relief. “Okay, I’m just gonna go look for him.”
I turn to find a line of people waiting to greet me. Some in armor like Shaun’s and a few in rippled armor like the Yakanna. Several others in long robes as well. I say hello and apologize to every single person that says hello to me. Most bow, which makes me shift on my feet. So I apologize again. Eventually, they back away, smiling.
The next in line is a man in ivory robes. He talks so fast, I have to focus on his lips to get everything he’s saying. He has reddish-brown hair and small ears. He looks so much like… Rahk.
Triggered, more snatches of memories come to me. Screams echo in my head. The taste of smoke lingers on my tongue. Sticky. My face is so red. Fragments of images flash before me, familiar pieces and some I’ve never seen.
I tug at my arms and the strap holding me to this metal table groans. A man with long lashes and kind eyes in a white lab coat joins his side and presses something cold to my lips.
“Where am I?” I ask. “Wh-what are you—”
But the way their lips twist in satisfaction tells me my words aren’t making any sense. My eyes grow heavier. I crane for a view of the room. Wires, a metal door, sterile, but the walls are made of stone. I know this place… from Binding. Am I in the Central District? Boots walk past a small window high on the wall.
Underground. I’m…
I need to get back to them… my people… they…
I blink again and this time the space between the images is longer. Even my breath is heavy somehow. A weight. “Jham—” The words dissolve on my tongue as everything disappears.
I swallow, my shirt balled in my fist. H-he had me strapped down. The one with eyelashes. I-in a lab or somewhere. It looked like the room where I was bound to magic. I close my eyes tight, glimpsing for more but find nothing. Why… why did I forget? I run my fingers over the places Jhamal stitched. I shut my eyes, trying to pull at more remnants of the memory, but it’s gone as fast as it’d come. The weight of the past several months sits on me like a brick.
Five… four… three… two… one.
My grip eases.
Five… four… three… two… one.
Focus, Rue.I force out a breath.You can do this. You can find a way to get everyone fighting again. You canwin.
I blink and the Ghizoni looks at me expectantly. My cheeks burn, realizing I don’t know anything he just said. I want him to know he is important to me. Not only in fighting for us but sitting in the little moments too.
“You know what I mean?” he says, smiling warmly, my distractedness going unnoticed, thankfully. “Anyway, it was so nice to meet with you.”
“I-it was so nice to meet you, too.” I reach for his hand. “Let’s talk again soon.” He smiles brighter at that, and I smile too, thankful to have done something right.
I spot a crowd of onlookers folded over drinks across the room.Bati isn’t among them. I recognize Kai and her Yakanna at the center of all of them. They are standoffish from everyone else, and something about Kai’s expression tells me that’s intentional. She’s not a fan of me or she doubts me. Of course she does. Why would she feel any other way? But I can show her. I can show all of them.
Another steps up to talk to me when I catch sight of a white head of locs and almost fall out of my seat getting up. “Sorry, if you’ll excuse me.” I jet off, push between a few pointy elbows, and clamp a hand on the familiar shoulder.
“Bati!” Without thinking, I hug him.
“Jelani!” He lets me go and I straighten his robes, which my eagerness disheveled. He holds my hands. “I’m so,sopleased to see you, dear.” His voice cracks and the way his lips tighten in a smile, I know he means it. “Why, you’re pale as a ghost. What is it?”
“I’m okay,” I say, willing myself to hear his voice over the phantom shrieks ringing in my head.How have you fared? I want to ask, but I canseethe answer—not well. “Any word on the Chancellor’s whereabouts? What’s the last you’ve heard?”
