Page 108 of Ashes of Gold
“You always saw the best in me, you know. Even when I was hustling. You ain’t like it, and told me I could and should do other things, but you never looked at me different because of it.”
“Of course not. Butyoulooked at you differently, too, lest we forget. You started feeling yourself, hard.”
“Facts.” He drops his head. “I was a jerk when that money started rolling in good. Man. And all the attention. Oh my god. All them…”
“Nope. Not gonna do that. Not bringing up no THOTs in my moment.” Those memories are staying buried.
“Yourmoment?”
“That’s what I said.” I roll my neck so he knows I’m not playing.
“I like that sauce you put on it.” He runs a finger down the bridge of my nose and pauses at my lips.
My everything is on fire. He stares but all I see are his lips. I remember their gentleness, their heat. The way our kiss, my first ever kiss, brought the heavens down to earth. My insides are in knots. It’s been so long,solong, since I’ve felt this flicker, this flame, and let it swallow me.
“Rue, I love you.”
The remnants of anything I have to keep him at a distance shatter.
“I’ve always loved you,” he goes on. “And I’ll never forgive myself for screwing up what we had. If living in your shadow is where I have to be, then I’ll be here, forever. Just to be close to you, there for you, to make up for what I did.” He takes my hand and holds it to his chest. “Your name is etched right here. And here…” He lifts hisshirt and my name is in cursive across his chest. “That’s never gonna change.” His words sink into me.
And I let them. “I love you too, Jue.”
His smile could outshine the sun. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” I whisper.
His breath is warm on my lips. “Rue…”
I suck in a breath, trembling with anticipation.
“I’ve waited so long to ask you this again.” His cheeks push up under his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
I lean in, pressing my lips to his as my answer, and the world disappears. His mouth melts into mine and I’m warm all over. His hands pull me deeper into him and I open my mouth wider, Julius’s love wrapping around me. I’ve never felt safer. He tugs at my lip and nuzzles my nose. I break away for a breath and find a tear on his cheek. I kiss it away. He holds my face in his hands and we sit there, foreheads pressed together. I don’t want this moment to end. I want to sit in this feeling forever.
“When this is over,” I say, “i-if things go our way, it’s me and you.”
“Whatever happens, it’s me and you,” he says. “Always.”
I kiss him once more before pulling away. The moon is higher.
“It’ll be time soon,” I say, pulling him up with me, and we set out of the forest, hand in hand. Me and Julius against the world.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
THUNDERCLOUDS FLICKER OVERHEAD ASwe trekked the rest of the way to the grave site. Zora, Taavi, and the Macazi are hardly noticeable tucked in and around the jpango branches and thick foliage near Yiyo.
“Everyone okay?” I ask, panting. The hike wasn’t short. A few miles at least. I know because I ran one stint of cross-country. Mainly because I wanted to see Julius at practice.
“Yes,” Taavi says, studying me closely. She must know I talked to her mother about the Chancellor. But she’s all plastic smiles, so I say nothing.
“We haven’t seen anyone else,” Zora says, gaping at Shaun’s hair in my hand. “That can’t have been easy. The Yakanna would be very proud.”
I don’t know what to say, so I take the hair and stick it in my pocket with a nod. She needs to know about Kai. But now still isn’t the time.
“My Ancestors’ burial ground is just beyond the clearing in a dirt pit on the cliff’s edge beside Yiyo. Let’s get moving.” I hustle toward it with Zora, Taavi, Julius, and the rest at my back. We push through the forest and the clearing around Yiyo comes into view. Yiyo’s peak kisses the clouds; beside it is a stretch of unmarked dirt. I remember well the place where I touched the ground and felt myAncestors for the first time—where I met a certain someone as he practiced his sparring. Seems like a lifetime ago.
Julius points. “Is that…”
