Page 72 of 2nd Strike
Concern darkens his eyes and he reaches for me, dragging me to him and squeezing. “What is it? Are you hurt?”
My cheek is pressed against his bare chest and all that warm, hard skin.
Home.
“No. It’s JJ. He got shot.”
“Holy shit.”
“He’ll be okay. He just got out of surgery, but Charlie, oh my God, she was so scared.”
The pounding in my chest ramps up—boom, boom, boom.My heart is slamming so hard it steals my breath and I step away again, shaking my head. I know how this goes. If I don’t get control of myself, I’ll be on the floor in a full-blown panic attack.
Jerome clasps my hands. “Sit. Right now. Head between your knees. I’m here, Meg. Just…breathe.”
He’s here.
Funny how the very thing that brought me to him and his pot brownies was the thing happening at this moment.
I drop to his couch and do as he said. From the sounds of it, he’s in the tiny galley kitchen getting water.
Seconds later, my body lists sideways after he sits next to me. He caresses my back, up and down, up and down. Gentle, even strokes that settle my rioting thoughts and it’s so perfect. Beyond perfect.
One, two, three.I count each breath, focusing on steady exhalations. By the time I reach ten, my heart rate has slowed enough where I can sit straight.
Still, Jerome touches me. “You’re okay,” he says. “I’m here. Just relax.”
Leaning into him, I take every bit of comfort he’s willing to give. Selfish, I know, but I’ll make it up to him.
I squeeze in closer, tucking myself into him.
Home.
“I have so much to tell you.”
“There’s time.”
No. There isn’t. I’m so sick of being afraid. Finally, I sit tall and face him, stare at him straight in the eyes because I won’t come unstuck without looking at him. “I’m sorry for leaving you hanging. You didn’t deserve that. I was scared and well, thrown. I knew I wanted to say yes to you. To thank whatever God brought you into my life, but fear took over.”
“I’m scared, too. More so of staying where we are.”
After witnessing what Charlie and JJ just went through, I somehow understand. “I was so worried about losing your friendship, I didn’t even consider what could happen. That maybe you’d step off a curb and get hit by a bus and I’ll have spent these last couple years never allowing myself to love you. Toreallylove you. The way you should be. That’s what I want. You and whatever life we can carve out.”
I stop talking. Charlie always likes to say the first person to speak during a negotiation loses. This isn’t one, but I’m definitely trying to win.
His silence sends another wave of panic whipping through me.He’s done. He doesn’t want me. He’s still pissed.
I drop my chin to my chest and wait for him to shatter my world. I’d deserve it after running away from him yesterday.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
“Hey, look at me.”
Here it comes. Whatever he’s about to say, I can’t fall apart. This is my doing and I refuse to make him feel guilty about it. I push my shoulders back and lift my head. “It’s okay.”
He shakes his head and lets out a little laugh. “Of course it is. What do you think? That I’m going to be a dick and throw you out because you were scared? You know me better.”
His words reach me and I blink. Did he say? Does he mean?
