Page 66 of 2nd Strike
Carl is still at Meg's. Lily has yet to show up.
I had a brief call with my father and brought him up to date. Matt stopped by and dropped off JJ. He’s currently making pasta.
The smell of garlic and onion makes my stomach growl, since I ate little of my salad earlier. Trouble is, my mind keeps circling back to all my issues and making my stomach flip-flop. One second I'm hungry, the other I want to throw up. It's probably all the stress and worry finally catching up with me.
JJ pours me a glass of wine, and I stare at it, wanting to drink but knowing my stomach won't let me.
I hate waiting. I pick up the phone and call the first attorney Jackie gave me. I get the man's receptionist, who tells me he's in a meeting and will call me back.
I debate trying the second to see if I can get a faster response. This one's a woman and I'm hoping she's just like Jackie, so I do. I'm told she, too, is busy but will return my call by the end of the day.
The biggest worry I have is that George's DNA is not a match for Ethan. What then?
If nothing else, I have to figure out who his parents are. I'm running out of time before some judge forces Meg to give him up to child services, and I'll be damned if I let that happen.
“Stop stewing." JJ appears at the dining room table to refill my glass, sees it's still full. "These things take time."
"I'm not a patient person."
He pours a glass of the wine and takes a sip. "You don't have to tell me that."
I stare at the dark red liquid. I've never been much of a drinker, but suddenly I want to down the whole damned bottle, regardless of my fluky stomach. "I still haven't found Ethan’s real parents, I'm being sued, you're on suspension, and I don't have a lawyer. I've got a long way to go before I can see the light of day."
“You’re tired and hungry. You'll feel better after I feed you."
“Have you heard from your wife?" The words fly out before I can stop them, as if I've already lost my inhibitions from simply looking at the wine.
He turns and walks to the kitchen. I hear thewhack whack whackof the knife on the cutting board. "Don't worry about her. I'll handle it."
Which means they're going back to the drawing board. Of course, she's going to take him to the cleaners now that she has proof––at least circumstantial evidence––that JJ has been having an affair while they were married.
I take a long drink of the alcohol finally. My stomach doesn't revolt. I take another swig.
Lost in my own thoughts, damning myself once again, I don't notice when JJ returns. I jump when he sets a platter of chopped vegetables and sliced bread in front of me. “Eat,” he commands.
I'd rather just drink, now that I'm on a roll. My brain’s getting a little fuzzy, thanks to my empty stomach, and it's slowing my thoughts. A little more and I can curl up in bed and forget about everything.
"I've spent all these years working to get to this point––running my own business, helping people, doing it all with my sister. One mistake, and I've ruined everything, not just for me but for her and you. Hell, even Matt. If we have to close our doors, he and Haley will lose their jobs. If Lily takes me to court, my savings will be completely wiped out, and who's going to hire me for a job? Can you imagine if I have to move home with Mom and Dad? Ugh.”
I hang my head, embarrassed to be admitting all of this to anyone, especially JJ. I don't usually get this morose about anything––I'm a warrior, a survivor. Nothing has ever brought me this low.
"Hey, look at me."
He sits across from me and sets his elbows on the table. He's got that look––the one I've seen him use to get his way with clients, judges, other lawyers. “You don’t need me to give you a pity party. You’re better than that. You need me to tell you to do what you do and screw your demons. You can—and will—handle whatever comes, and you'll do it like a pro. Always have and always will. If you need me, I’m here, but I know you. You’ve got this, Charlie.”
His belief in me is unwavering. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve it, but I let the words sink in as I take a piece of bread and nibble. I want to kiss him, but if I stand too quickly, I might topple over.
The bread is delicious, and I'm definitely hungry now. “My mind keeps circling back to something Susie said in the parking lot. ‘She only took the babies whose mothers didn’t want them.’ That's what she said about Amelia.”
JJ gets up and goes to the kitchen, returning moments later with two plates piled full of spaghetti. "Why is that bothering you?"
"Is that what Amelia told herself and her sister so she didn't feel guilty about taking other people’s children? That they didn't want them?"
He shrugs, staying silent to let me work through this, and we dig in. The sauce is good, the pasta done to perfection, and I'm suddenly ravenous. “This is delicious."
He raises his glass and I clink mine against it, staring at him over the rim as I sip. He stares back at me, and I feel that delicious electricity between us.
I eat more pasta, tear apart another piece of bread and wolf that down. "I keep thinking about what Susie confessed to Taylor—the mother in Santa Monica paid Amelia. Why? If the mother didn't want her kid, wouldn’t she give it up for adoption? There are so many couples out there who want children, why would anyone pay someone like Amelia to take their baby away?"
