Page 70 of Fatal Thrill
“I would have,but…”
She gripped his hand and squeezed. “But what, Jon? You can tell me. No more secrets,remember?”
He closed his eyes for a moment, a battle going on inside him. “The bastard set my dad up to look like he didit.”
“What?” She nearly came out of theseat.
His jaw was tight. His free hand rubbed up and down his pant leg. “The killer made it look like my dad was the one who murdered Isaiah and theothers.”
“Oh my god!” Jaya grabbed him and hugged him. He was stiff and unyielding. “Whathappened?”
“The man who did it—and was never caught—was friends with my dad. He stole one of my father’s favorite weapons and left it inside the cave. When I found the lost kid, I also found Dad’s bow, and the FBI started an investigation, leading them right to my father. He didn’t do it, Jaya, and I’ve been trying to prove his innocence since, but so far, I’ve failed. My father is in prison because ofme.”
Her first instinct was to cry bullshit, but Jon actually believed all this was his fault—from Isaiah and the other kids’ deaths to his father ending up in prison for them. She could see it so clearly in his eyes and her heart broke. “You never told me any ofthis.”
“There are a lot of things I haven’t told you because I didn’t want you to think Iwas…”
“What?”
He sighed and faced her. “A loser. A joke. A freak—take yourpick.”
She touched the side of his face, the muscle in his jaw going crazy. “I would never thinkthat.”
“What if I told you that Beatrice and I fear there’s an outside chance that the men who blew up your van and kidnapped Finn are actually afterme?”
Her jaw hung open. “What?”
“The real killer has been in hiding for the past seven years. He knows I’ve been looking for him. It’s possible he, or some of his friends, found out about us and decided the best way to target me for payback was to targetyou.”
“No, no, no.” Jaya wasn’t buying that. And she certainly wasn’t letting Jon take responsibility for yet another thing that could in no way be his fault. Talk about bad luck. “Finn’s kidnapping is my dad’s doing, notyours.”
They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. Then Jon turned to her, his face a thundercloud of worry. “I know what I’m good at, Jaya, and I try to do the right thing, but some days, I feel like a Class-A fuckup. I have issues, and they’re not all about my dad or dysfunctional childhood. My brain is…” He grabbed his head like it hurt. “I thought my time in the service would straighten me out, but it made some things worse. I struggle with a lot of shit. Mental shit. You deserve better. Youandthebaby.”
There was always this sadness about him—a layer of it, like sand stuck to his skin. She wanted to wash it away. To hold him and shush the mental beating he was always giving himself. To reflect the greatness she saw in him so he could see ittoo.
She tugged at his hands, pulling them to her heart and holding them there “When this is over, Jon Wolfe, you and I are going to sit down with a giant pepperoni pizza and a couple tubs of ice cream and we’re going to put everything out on the table.Everything. No secrets. Cuz I have some ugly stuff I struggle with too. If, after we say our peace and divulge our dark sides to each other, we’re both still willing to move forward in this relationship, then we’ll make a plan to deal with our respective shit and build a better future for our kid.Deal?”
His jaw relaxed a fraction. “Sounds good except for thepepperoni.”
She feigned outrage. “You don’t like pepperonipizza?”
“I prefer Canadianbacon.”
“Now that’smental.”
His lips barely moved in the beginnings of a smile. Not a complete one, just the hint, but she’d take it. “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into,Jaya.”
“Back atcha, but we’ve got a good thing here, the two of us. We stick together, we can move mountains. I’m sure ofit.”
He touched her hair, her cheek, his gaze sliding over every feature as if he were memorizing her face. “When I’m with you, I’m the luckiest guy on theplanet.”
He always knew the right words to make her feel special. Wanted. Worth something. “I feel like maybe my luck is changing too, thanks toyou.”
How couldJaya still want him around after what he’d toldher?
Three hours later, Jon still wasn’t sure as he walked down the antiseptic-smelling hall with her behind the nurse who’d come to getthem.
Sean was out of surgery and had asked for Jaya in the recovery room. The nurse had told him no, that he needed to rest for a bit, but the man had raised a fit, yelling and jerking out his IV until finally, they’d agreed to get hisdaughter.
