Page 97 of Heartbreaker
“I love you, Savannah Williams.” John presses one final kiss against my lips before he takes a few steps back. “I never stopped, but I think—I think we should keep our distance.”
I don’t have to be in here. I could have just as easily watched this from one of the monitors in the back with Rae and Bennett, but I hoped I’d be able to catch Brooks on his way back after this segment. We’re about to spend an entire weekend side by side, and I don’t feel like being ignored in the name of “keeping our distance.”
That’s what we’ve been doing all week, unless it has to do with work, just like he wanted, and I have to admit I’ve found myself missing him. Am I even allowed to say that? I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s not like I have a reason to miss him, we’re not together—haven’t been together—and I’m pretty sure the whole “friends” thing went out the window after dinner on Sunday.
I thought we had finally found some common ground where we could let the walls down a little, and then I went and screwed it up in a moment of what…Nostalgia? Longing for something that no longer exists? I’ve spent the last four days dissecting every little thing that has happened over the past two and a half weeks, and every time it comes back to his confession on the street in the middle of downtown Chicago.
He still loves me. I’ve asked myself if I feel the same countless times, and each time, the immediate answer is…yes. The more I think about it, the more I think that’s the reason I’ve continued to push him away. It doesn’t make sense, but at the same time, it makes complete sense. I am scared. Scared to get hurt again. Scared to let him in again. But I’m even more scared of living a life without John Brooks in it…
“Brooks Taylor is jealous!”Spencer Austinyells, drawing my attention back to the screen in the corner. The three of them—Spencer, Viviana, and Brooksstand in the middle of the ring for an “interview” with Jude Paul.
I’m not slated to join them; my only contribution to tonight’s show was joining the battle royale for the number one contender’s spot to faceCalla Lilyat Wrestlefest. And while I knew I wasn’t going to win, it had been nice to get in the ring with all the girls.Kerrigan Tatewon the royale, and from what I’ve seen of her in my short time back, that match is going to be one to watch.
“That’s right, I said it.You’re jealous of me.”
Brookschuckles.Jealous? he mouths, and points atAustin.
“When you came back last year, you weren’t the guy anymore, Brooks.You come out here and play the character of Brooks Taylor, but you’re not even him anymore.You’re just the washed-up, has-been version of your former self.”
The crowd begins a divided chant of their names, “Aus-tin” and “Brooks,” and I hate to say that I think theAustinside is louder.Brooksshrugs, a smirk on his lips.
“Half of this crowd cannot stand you, and the other half just refuses to admit that you’re not the great Brooks Taylor you once were.But this isn’t why we’re here.”
“You mean the last five minutes of your whining and complaining isn’t why I’m here?”Brooksasks, andSpencer’sface falls. “Oh, I’m sorry, please continue.” He tries to hide his laughter, biting down on the inside of his cheek, before he motions forSpencerto continue.
“We’re here because it’s time someone put you in your place, Brooks.I’m tired of you and your arrogant ways.You walk around here like you own the place, but you’re no better than the dirt beneath my shoe.”Spencerwhite-knuckles the microphone, spitting the words. “You’ve been handed opportunity after opportunity, while the rest of us have to claw and fight to get a crumb, a morsel of a chance…People like me, Ryker, Drake.You step on us, on all of us, to put yourself at the top, and you can’t even wrestle!”
Seriously? We’re going back tothat? Come on, Austin, you can do better than that.
Claiming Brooks can’t wrestle is always the fallback for people who are looking to pick a fight with him. I roll my eyes, and when I glance in the opposite corner of the room, Amos stares at the screen in front of him with pursed lips. He’s not loving this. They need to do something to get this moving.
“We’re the ones who work every damn day to make these shows what they are!And you…you walk in here and expect everything to just be handed to you.”
Brookslooks bored, rolling his own eyes.
“I want you to see what it’s like when someone takes away your dreams, the same way you’ve taken away countless dreams from every other wrestler in this company!”
“The dreams I’ve—”Brookslaughs. “That’s all you’ve got?Come on, Austin.I know you can do better than this.You’re saying the same shit everyone has been saying for the last ten years!Don’t you think if I had all this ‘power’ you guys seem to think I do, I’d have that belt around my waist?” He points to the belt on the chairSpenceroccupied not long ago. “You say I manipulate everything that happens here in EWE, and yet I haven’t won a title in almost three years!Count ’em.” He lifts his fingers to count backwards to 2016.“I haven’t held a title since I lost to Damian Drake at Wreck the Halls in 2016.” He shakes his head. “You want to come out here and act all holier-than-thou, but the truth is, you’re no better than me and every other man in that locker room.If I really am the man behind the curtain, pulling all the strings, especially this close to Wrestlefest, you think I’d be in a match withyou?”
That earns a chuckle from none other than Amos and the crowd.
“No, I’d be face-to-face with Fata, Goodwin, or, hell, maybe even that new kid—Aaron Zimmerman—who’s been kicking ass down in NextGen.” The crowd roars, andBrooksglances atViviana,who stands behind her husband. He points at her with a narrowed gaze. “And don’t even get me started on you.What are you doing here?You make this grand ‘comeback,’ but you’ve barely stepped foot in the ring since.Your match with me weeks ago was the third time you’ve been in a ring since you walked through that door.You didn’t even compete in that battle royale earlier for the women’s title. Why?” She looks atSpencerfor an answer, but he only continues to glare atBrooks.“Oh, don’t worry, I know why.I just want to see what you have to say.It’s because you’re too busy being this guy’s lapdog.”
That earns a “lap-dog” chant from the crowd, and everyone backstage starts laughing.
“Why is that?”Brooksasks. “Too scared to get back in the ring unless you’re fighting someone with their hand tied behind their back?Afraid to take a bump?Afraid you might get hurt?Newsflash!We get hurt for a living.You picked the wrong career.”
“I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it wasn’t for your girlfriend!”Vivianahisses.
It would appear he’s struck a nerve, but it’s her use of the wordgirlfriendthat catches my attention, and that of a few others around gorilla, including Noah. He glances my way with a smirk before turning back to his monitor.
“My girlfriend?”
“If it wasn’t for her, I—”
“If it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t be standing where you are right now, Viviana,”Brookssays, venom dripping from his voice. For a moment, I don’t see the character, only the man behind the mask. “That woman did more for the women’s division than anyone else—you included!But I guess you wouldn’t know because you were too busy fucking this clown.You’re too worried about what other people think of you, but you don’t do anything to better yourself.And that’s the difference between us and the two of you…When Savvy and I fail, we get back up and try again, but you blame everybody else.”
“That’s funny considering she walked out on you two years ago.”
