Page 37 of Begin Again
“Eyes on me, Charlie,” I rasp when her eyes close as her head bobs down my shaft. My hips twitch with restraint, trying not to fuck her mouth, letting her have the control. “That’s it. You’re so fucking good at this.”
The words of praise make her mouth smile around me. I push a strand of hair from her face and push my fingers into the auburn locks, and she moans when I tug. Charlie twists her hand around my base, which doesn’t fit in her mouth, but I want her to fit the whole thing.
“You can do it, Charlie,” I say, flexing my hips to push more of myself into her mouth. And she takes it, finally relaxing her jaw, as her hand disappears beneath her waistband. “Are you touching yourself?” Her moan is enough of an answer. “There you go. That’s good. Make yourself feel good.”
She flicks her tongue across the head again and I can’t take it anymore. I fuck into her mouth. Hard. Her eyes water, but she lets me do what I need and whimpers when I twist her hair around my fist, keeping her where she is. And with two more pumps, I let go. Hot streams hit the back of her throat, and my head falls back with a deep moan.
Charlie takes every last drop, and when I look down, she runs her tongue across her lips as I pull my softening cock from her mouth.
Holy shit.
Oh, no.
No, no, no. That wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen, butthatwas especially not supposed to happen.
She stands from the floor and wastes no time closing the space between us. Her hands wind around my neck.
“Charlie, wait.” I gently push her away when she tries to pull my mouth back to hers. “Charlie, stop.”
Her brow cocks as she looks up at me. The realization slowly hits her. “You’re…You want to stop?”
“Charlie, look—”
She jumps away from me, using a blanket on the chair in the corner to cover herself. I do the same with my towel, folding it inside of itself on my waist. “Save it, Xavier,” Charlie hisses. “I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses.”
“Would you listen to me?” I reach for her, but she shrugs out of my grasp.
“I’m good enough to suck your dick, but not enough to fuck?”
“That is not...” I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath, trying to collect myself. Do not let her get to you. She’s upset about everything, not just this.
“You know what, don’t answer.” Charlie scoffs, collecting her clothes from the floor and slipping it back over her head. When she straightens out her shirt, Charlie crosses her arms tightly over her chest and glares at me. “What did Danny want earlier? And don’t even try to saynothing, because we both know that’s not true. What the fuck did he want?”
My shoulders rise and fall. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
“What did he want, Xavier?” She shoves into my bare chest with her hands.
“It doesn’t concern you!”
“Yes, it does!” The nail of her pointer finger sticks into my muscle. “You were supposed to be on a date with me and your mind was everywhere but onme!”Charlie scoffs, running a hand through her messy waves. “Look, I get it, this is hard for you. It’s been hard for you. But don’t drag me into something you’re not ready for. I deserve—”
“Drag you into—” I scoff. “Charlie,youwanted this! You’re the one who wanted to go on a date. You’ve been—”
“So, what, it was a pity date?” There’s a new level of emotion in her eyes. Part of me feels bad, but I can’t deny what’s right in front of us. It wasn’t a complete pity date, but it wasn’t wholly something we both wanted, either. “Save your fucking pity. I don’t need it.”
“I didn’t say—”
“You didn’t have to! You don’t have to.” She takes a step back. “I can see it written all over your face. But you know what, Xavier? When you decide to pull your head out of your ass and you want to finally move the fuck on with your life…don’t come to me.” Charlie shoves past me and leaves my room, and after a moment I hear the door to her room slam.
Am I supposed to go after her? Continue to apologize for something she started? Maybe I should, but I don’t. I quietly grab my sweatpants from the floor and go to the bathroom to clean myself up.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE AIR IS THICK and muggy today. It has been since I got out to the fence this morning. While the sky looks like it could unleash its fury at any moment, it has yet to do so. Until it does, I’ll continue mending the fence. I need the space to think after last night. Even though I only got a few hours of sleep (if that), I was out of the house well before Joseph and Charlie got up this morning, thankfully. I wasn’t ready to face that beast, yet. I was grateful to find Joseph had restocked the coffee. There was no way I would make it through today without it. The thought crossed my mind as I prepped the pot this morning that maybe I should talk to Joseph about moving out.
Joseph tries to hide his concerns, but I think it’s obvious things around the ranch are tight—tighter than before. I notice it whenever conversations about money or needing materials get brought up, or when Charlie goes out one too many nights a week. I can’t help but wonder if I’m part of the cause, too. I’ve considered asking Joseph to cut the small stipend he started giving me, but I don’t think that talk would go over very well.
If I move out but still work around the ranch, it might alleviate some of Joseph’s concerns. It might diminish some of the tension with Charlie, too. If I stick around, I think it’ll only make things worse.
