Page 74 of Begin Again
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” His lips have been pulled into a thin line, and I can see the walls coming up between us.
“It’s not like that, Beau. You know it’s not.”
A burst of giggles comes from the kitchen, catching our attention. Elena races back to the office, her sucker now in her mouth, as she tries to retell the joke she just heard on the television. Without waiting for our response, she runs back to the kitchen, giggling. When I’m sure she’s gone, I stand to meet Beau at his desk.
“Beau—”
“Nina, don’t.” He withdraws slightly from my touch.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pulling him back. “It has nothing to do withyou. And I am so sorry, but I…I’m not ready. I don’t know when I’ll be ready. Not just because of me, but because I have alittle girl to think about. How do I explain something like this to her?”
I cradle his cheek and lift his chin to bring his gaze back to mine. A wild mix of emotions swims in his green eyes before his lids flutter closed and he leans into my touch. His hands come to rest on my hips, pulling me to stand between his legs. A small gasp escapes me at the connection. My body is already reacting to being so close to him.
“I am so appreciative of you and everything you’ve done for us…for me. I wouldn’t have made it this past year without you.” My fingers play with the hair at the base of his skull, and a small hum of approval sounds in his throat.
“I think you’ve been doing alright.” When his eyes reopen, they glance down at my lips and back, and he swallows the thickness growing in his throat.
“I don’t.”
There’s a gentle tug between us and we don’t deny it this time. Like magnets drawn together, unable to resist the pull. His nose brushes against mine. I feel the ghost of his lips and I’m almost certain he can hear my heart pounding. We pause there, neither of us taking the final step forward.
“Nina.” A hint of icy mint ghosts across my skin. I can practically taste it on my tongue.
“Beau.” His name is strangled on my lips, and I want nothing more than to push forward and claim him as my own. Everything in me screams to close the gap between us. My body remembers the way his felt against mine. Remembers how good it felt to be close to someone, and not just someone…him.
But as much as I want to—and I really,reallywant to—I know we can’t.
“Beau, Elena is here.”
Those words break the trance once and for all.
Beau clears his throat and slips away from me, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Shit, Nina. I’m—”
“Don’t.” My tongue swipes across my lips, still tasting a hint of mint. “Do not apologize. There is nothing to apologize for. This…us…God, Beau. I wish I could give this to you. You have no fucking idea how badly I want to, but—”
He kisses me quickly, stopping my rambling. “It’s okay, Sweetheart.”
Fuckis the only thing crossing my mind. The only thing I want to do is finish what he started. Holding his gaze a moment longer, I clear my throat and do whathasto be done. Taking a step back, I say, “We should probably get back before they send a search party.”
Beau doesn’t offer a verbal response, only nods, and I grab my coffee from the tray before slipping past him.
“Thank you, Beau,” I say from the door. “For everything.”
“Anything for you, Sweetheart.”
I smile, standing there for a brief moment longer before I force my feet to move forward.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
OUR FAMILY IS GATHERED for a lantern ceremony in an open field outside downtown Haven. We extended an invitation to anyone in town who wanted to join. I swear the whole town showed, including Beau, other members of the sheriff’s office, Sergeant James Warren from State, and Sheriff Rhett Wilson from Puck County. I wasn’t surprised to see Beau or the other officers. Hell, I wasn’t even surprised to see Sergeant Warren. There was only one person I was surprised to see: Sheriff Wilson. Why was he here?
I had developed a rapport with the others, but not him. He was the only person who avoided me unless hehadto speak with me. Not that it bothered me much. Something about him makes me feel uneasy…It’s hard to explain.
“Uncle Beau!” Elena waves wildly when she sees him. Before I can tell her to wait, she sprints in his direction. Beau doesn’t hesitate, lifting her off her feet and swinging her through the air; a chorus of giggles follows. He sits Elena on his hip. Her arms wrap around his neck tightly, and she presses her head against his cheek.
“I think I found something that belongs to you,” he says, finding me in the crowd.
