Page 36 of Begin Again
I tried to give Charlie what she wanted, but it only seemed to make things worse. There are too many unanswered questions—things I don’t know or understand. I asked for a sign and got one—the lilies—but what did it mean? And the woman who has haunted me from day one, who is she? Is she my wife? My girlfriend? An ex? The latter seems most likely considering the note in the bouquet. The mix of anger and anxiety I felt reading it had to be some indication she was important to me, but maybe I wasn’t as important to her.
However I feel about Charlie (or don’t feel about her), I know I haven’t been fair to her today. I was distracted and distant thewhole time; I didn’t give her a real chance like I promised. And for that, I’m sorry—genuinely.
I wrap the towel around my waist and walk out of the bathroom. I don’t notice her standing in front of my room until I’m practically on top of her. “Holy shit! Charlie?”
“Oh my gosh!” She takes a step back, backing into the doorframe. “I’m so sorry. I—I didn’t know you were—Sorry!”
“What are you doing?” I resecure the towel with my hand, making sure it still covers my lower half. It’s not unusual to leave the bathroom in only a towel when my room is right next door. It’s never been a problem, until now. I make a mental note to bring clothes with me next time to avoid another run-in like this.
“I just…I came to apologize. I was rude, and—” The whole time she’s stumbling through her words, she tries not to stare at my bare chest. And if I’m honest, it’s kind of cute. Her eyes roam around the entire hallway—the floor, the ceiling, the wall, the window—anywhere but at me. “So, yeah, I…uh...came to apologize for being bratty and not taking into account how today was probably a lot for you. And for Cooper. Oh my gosh, can you put a shirt on or something? This would be easier if you were…you know, clothed.”
“You’re kind of blocking my way,” I say with a smirk, motioning to the door she still stands in front of.
“Oh! Right. Sorry.” Charlie takes one big step to the side and keeps her eyes glued to the floor when I walk by.
Closing the door, I change in record time, pulling a pair of sweatpants up my legs and a T-shirt over my head. After running the towel over my shaved head one final time, I toss it onto the back of the desk chair.
I don’t expect her to be so close when I open the door again, and I don’t account for her to be on me like a damn fly on honey, either. Her mouth molds against mine, and it stuns me at first, but slowly I ease into her kiss, and she greedily acceptsmy offer. My hands reach up to cradle her face, and I swallow her moan when I nip at her bottom lip. Everything about her is foreign, the way she feels, the way she moves, the sounds she makes…Despite the differences, I can’t deny it feels good to have someone this close. And that’s why I don’t pull away when I know I should.
Charlie gasps when I set my lips at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, her head falling back as I move up the length of her neck with open-mouthed kisses. I can’t help but smile as she arches into me when I find an extra-sensitive spot. “Zay,” she whimpers, her voice thick with need.
“Get on the bed,” I demand, and she does without question. This might be the most compliant she’s ever been.
Charlie sits on her knees on the edge of the bed, her fingers already working the hemline of her cropped T-shirt, letting it fall to the floor and leaving her completely bare from the waist up in front of me. Her breasts are like small mounds, but they fit her body, and I swoop down to take one of her hardened buds in my mouth. She moans at the sensation, fully unprepared for it, but she’s not complaining, wrapping one hand around the back of my neck to keep me right where she wants me. I massage the pale skin of her left breast and swirl my tongue around her nipple, letting my teeth scrape against the bud every so often, and the sensation drives her crazy.
Her body vibrates with anticipation, need rising in her veins when my hand skates down her sides, which lacks the curves I’m used to.
Wait, what?
The thought stuns me briefly, but she doesn’t seem to notice, too engrossed in the way my hand feels against her skin. When I reach her pajama pants, Charlie’s purrs of satisfaction spur me on, and I dip my hand beneath the waistband. “Did you fuckingcome in here bare?” I ask, not feeling anything between my fingers and the skin under her pants.
Charlie doesn’t answer, only smirks, pulling my mouth back to hers.
I climb above her, and she rakes her nails across the thin hair of my buzz cut. “You should grow this out,” she says, fingers ghosting across my neck.
“Why?” I chuckle.
“I want to see what it looks like.” Her fingers trail around my neck to my chest and down the front of my T-shirt. She lifts the hem and tugs, pulling it over my head, and her eyes darken. She slides her hands down the bare skin of my chest, fingertips ghosting over my left pectoral before her lips follow.
Drawing in a sharp breath at the sensation, I slide my hand back into the waistband of her pants, between her thighs, and her head falls back against the pillow. She’s already soaked, and she bucks against my hand when I slip one finger inside her.
“Zay,” she moans when my lips find her collarbone.
I shush her and scrape my teeth against the delicate skin, dipping my tongue into the groove where her neck and collarbone meet. I push another finger inside her and she bites down on the meat of her hand to muffle her moans. She moves her hips greedily, needing more, and rubs her clit against the heel of my palm. She’s close. I can feel it when I slip one more finger inside and take her nipple back into my mouth. With each swipe of my tongue across the sensitive bud, she loses more control, and when I bite down, she’s a goner. She comes hard, her fingers white where they clench the blue quilt beneath her. Her body milks my fingers, vibrating underneath my touch with each stroke of my fingers, which continues to work her through her orgasm.
Pulling my fingers from her, I step off the bed and grip the back of the desk chair, taking a steadying breath. Thingsbetween Charlie and me are already complicated, and I have no doubt this will only make things worse. I wipe my hands on my towel and try to think of a way to end this without causing a scene. I don’t want to hurt Charlie—any more than I have already—but I shouldn’t have let this happen. I shouldn’t have let my desire for the connection I’ve been missing overtake my common sense. She’s going to think this means something. She’ll think what happened means more than it does, and I’m dreading what comes next.
“Did you come here knowing something might happen?” I ask, but it’s a silly question. Of course, she did. Why else would she come here without any underwear on? Okay, that doesn’t mean anything. Plenty of people sleep in the nude…or commando, but still. I don’t think she showed up at my door tonight totalk. And I have a feeling if I don’t get her dressed in the next few seconds, she will try and “talk” some more.
“I had an idea,” she answers, and her voice is closer than it should be. Charlie reaches across my chest and tugs, spinning me around to face her. She delicately drapes her arms over my shoulders, and lust-filled eyes look up at me from under her long lashes.
Her lips are on my skin, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down my neck, shoulder, and chest. She goes lower and lower until she’s on her knees, fingers in my waistband and tugging my sweats down my thighs.
I need to stop this. Right now. But how do I—Holy fuck. A sharp inhale passes my lips as she frees my cock, touching the sensitive skin as she does so. Her tongue pokes out to wet her lips at the sight. I wrap my fist around my cock, stroking it a few times while her palms run the length of my thighs. Charlie watches my movements like she’s under a spell before her hand reaches out, thumb swiping over the head.
“Fuck,” I breathe, my head falling back. I have to grip the back of the chair to steady myself. I groan when her fingers run over my length. It’s been too long since I’ve been touched by a woman, and come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I took care of myself. A shiver runs down my spine when she wraps her hand around me. Her hand is too small. Her fingers don’t connect around my width.
Charlie licks from base to tip, smiling when she takes me fully into her mouth, and I curse under my breath. She takes me as deep as she can, sucking me the whole way back. With a quick sweep of her tongue, she cleans the leaking head of my cock.
