Page 84 of Terms + Conditions
Without waiting for a response, Nina snatches her phone off the desk, mumbling something in Italian as she walks out.
“She’s right.” Elizabeth sighs after a moment.
As much as I hate to agree with her, Nina is right. We didn’t have the full conversation that should’ve been had. Sure, we talked about work and Juliet, how that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but there was so much left to say.
“Josh—”
“I—”
“No,” Elizabeth stops me. “Let me say this.” She takes a deep breath and stares down into her hands folded on her lap, twirling her thumbs as she chooses the next words. “I-I should’ve been honest with you from the start about Ryan. I don’t know why I kept it a secret. I guess…I was scared because that would have made it more real. I didn’t even tell Nina until last month. She introduced us last year by accident, and when she found out he had asked me on a date, she warned me not to pursue it. Not only because he was a dick, but because I was still in love with you.” She meets my gaze and a small smile tugs at the right corner of her lips. “When she found out…Well, let’s just say she wasn’t happy. I’d hidden it for over a year.”
“Was he there when I told you about Michaela and Finn?”
Elizabeth nods but refuses to look at me. “We were just talking, getting to know each other.”
“Elizabeth, we slept together at Nick and Nina’s wedding!”
“I know, Josh. I know! And I should’ve never let that happen. I should’ve stopped it, but…I missed you. I missed us. Being with you at the wedding really clouded my judgment and I took advantage of it. I took advantage of you.”
“Did you sleep with him?” I ask. I don’t know if I want the answer, but if we’re going to put everything on the table…
“No.”
“You were together for over a year and never slept together?”
Elizabeth chews on her bottom lip. “I couldn’t do it, Josh. We started to…last month, but I couldn’t do it. Despite what had been going on between you and me, I felt like I was cheating. Before that, nothing with Ryan felt real, it felt like we were playing house…but when the moment came, I couldn’t do it. He got pissed and broke up with me.”
“That’s why you took me last weekend.”
“Honestly, I was always going to invoke the clause. Can you imagine if I had taken Ryan to meet the girls? Georgie would eat him up.”
“I don’t know, I think motherhood has softened her.”
Elizabeth rolls her eyes.
“I’m sorry for accusing you of telling her about Noah wanting a divorce,” I say.
“As if I didn’t accuse you of worse things.”
“Elizabeth, I pushed you away time and time again. And I lied to you. I don’t blame you for thinking the worst. But the truth is…” I sigh, staring down at my hands.
I don’t know how to say this, to admit what we both already know but have refused to ever voice to one another.
“I buried myself in work because I know I’m not…I’m not worthy of this, of you. I haven’t earned this life. It was given to me because of a stupid decision I made in college. I was a scared kid who didn’t know any better and I took the easy way out. I’mnot William or Ryan or these other guys who can give you the life you deserve, I’m not—”
“I’m going to stop you right there.”
I hadn’t even noticed she had stood from her chair until her delicate touch gripped my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“I love you, Josh, because you’re not them. You are the most kind and gentle man I’ve ever known. You have the biggest heart and the way you care for your family, your friends…me. They’ve never loved me the way you do. You say you don’t deserve me? I don’t deserve you. I’ve spent the past ten years waiting for you to wake up and realize this isn’t the life you wanted. You’d been forced into it because of some unexpected circumstances, none of which wereyourfault.”
“Theta—”
“Wasn’t your fault, Josh. Imagine if you hadn’t been there. Imagine what would have happened then.” Elizabeth takes my hands in hers. “That boy would have died, I guarantee it. You saved his life, Josh. Whether anyone else knows it or not, I know it. You know it. Hell, everyone there knows it. Despite whatever story was told to scrub your name out of it, whatever legal action Brina threatened to keep them quiet, everyone there that night knows it would have been so much worse if it wasn’t for you. But regardless of why this happened, I’m happy it did because it means I have you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, trying to contain the blur in my eyes.
“Josh, you don’t have to earn this.” Elizabeth motions to the world around us. “Or me or my love or the love of our family. That’s given to you, freely. My inheritance isn’t just mine, it’s ours, to build our life together.” She pulls my gaze to hers. “I love you, Josh. You don’t have to continue to prove yourself to anyone, including me. You’ve already done that. You don’t have to try and exonerate yourself for something you didn’t do. Iwish you would’ve told me you felt this way…I could’ve put your worries to rest and maybe we could’ve avoided all of this.”
