Page 80 of Terms + Conditions
We’d had this fight many times over the years. Every time I was overly busy at work, she would get mad. She didn’t like it when I had to stay late or work overtime or miss certain things because duty called. I was married to her, not my job, she would say.
She didn’t understand it—the constant need to prove myself. The constant tug-of-war I have felt inside, trying to be who she wanted me to be but also who I felt that I needed to be. I had to prove I was more than just some opportunist. I didn’t want to sit back and reap the rewards of a life I wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for one wrong decision back in college. I wasn’t worthy of any of this, but I had been doing my damnedest to try and be.
“We were both wrong, okay?” I sigh. “That doesn’t change the fact that I fucked up. I assumed you were going to walk away because that’s what you kept saying…You moved into the guest room for fucksake!”
“And you went to meet up with your ‘one true love.’”
I never called her that, but even if I had, it wasn’t the truth.
“I’ve already told you, Elizabeth. Juliet never showed up that day,” I say, reaching out for her hand.
“Doesn’t matter,” Elizabeth hisses, ripping her hand from mine. “You still went. You went and you lied about it. That’s not love, Josh.”
“You’re right,” I admit.
She looks taken aback. Guess that makes two times now that I’ve told her she was right.
“But all I can do is ask for your forgiveness. I can’t take it back, but if you give me the chance, I will do everything I can to make it up to you.”
Elizabeth stares at her shoes, arms crossed tightly over her chest as she leans back against the counter. She closes her eyes and looks up at the ceiling, her voice meek when she says, “You weren’t even here on the anniversary.”
No, not our anniversary, but the anniversary of her parents’ death.
“You never came.” She scoffs sadly.
“Yes, I did.” I waste no time taking her hands in mine and stepping into her line of vision. “I was here. I drove down thatafternoon after going back and forth about whether or not to come in the first place. I didn’t think you’d want to see me, but I came anyway. And I guess you weren’t home because you didn’t answer the door. So, I sat out right out there on your porch for hours…I wanted to be here when you got home. I wanted to be here for you because I know that it’s still the hardest day of every year for you.” I cup the side of her face in my hands and wipe a stray tear that falls from her brown eyes. “So, I waited, but you never came home. And when I thought about leaving, I waited some more. I don’t even know what time it was, but it was late when I left.”
Her eyes well with more tears, and she tries to avoid my stare, but I won’t let her. I want to look her in the eye when I tell her exactly how I feel.
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I’m so sorry for everything. For lying, for not telling you how I felt—how I feel—for not sticking around…I was trying to protect myself, and in doing so, I’ve hurt you…the one thing I never wanted to do. I thought—” A heavy sigh. “I thought this was what you wanted, to finally be done withthis. To be done with me. We were barely speaking, I never saw you, we were living two different lives—”
“Whose fault was that?”
“It wasn’t just me, Elizabeth.”
What’s that old saying? It takes two to tango. Yeah, that’s the one. This relationship was never going to work if only one of us was fighting for it.
“I didn’t feel like a priority to you,” she whispers.
“And I was wrong for that. Work got the best of me, and everything else got the leftovers. You got the leftovers.” I grip her chin between my fingers and stare into her eyes. “I am so sorry. I love you, Sugar. I’minlove with you. I have been since that day you called and begged me to help you decorate the house when you should’ve been studying. Hell, I think I loved you beforethat, I just didn’t know it…and every day I’ve spent apart from you has been one too many. I don’t want to be away from you for one more minute. I will quit my job and move to Jupiter if that’s what it takes. I don’t care as long as I’m with you. Because as long as I’m alive…I am yours and you are mine. I love you, Elizabeth Davis.”
Tears flood her eyes and I wait for her to say something—anything—but she doesn’t. She gnaws on the inside of her cheek, and the longer we stand here, the more time begins to still and anxiety fills my heart.
“Now would be a good time to say it back,” I whisper.
Tears escape the corners of her eyes, but she presses up on her tiptoes and kisses me. “I love you too, Joshua Davis.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
THEN
August 2024
“SO, HOW WAS MY sister?”
I still can’t believe Nina put Michaela on Finn’s project. Was she trying to start World War III? The thought of them working alone in such close quarters made me want to duck and cover even from seven hundred miles away in South Carolina. Michaela called me after Nina told her she’d be helping Finn with his newest project to complain, and Finn did the same. They both spent at least twenty minutes each going on and on about how the other was going to ruin their life. They were equally insufferable drama queens that night.
Finn’s eyes widen a little at my question. “W-what do you mean?”
