Page 69 of Terms + Conditions
Tears brim her eyes, and she tries to swallow them back, but they refuse to retreat. One breaks the surface, sliding down her cheek.
“Elizabeth?” Selena calls from downstairs. The silence that follows is almost eerie as we hold one another’s burning stare.
She closes her eyes, swallowing down the tears. “Yeah?” The word is still wobbly and teary when she finally speaks.
“Could use your help down here!”
“Just a second.” Elizabeth meets my stare again. Her bottom lip quivers, but she bites down, trying to hide it.
“Just go,” I interrupt her when she starts to say something. “Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”
She swallows back the words she had intended and wipes her eyes before pushing past me to save the day for her friends, like always. When she’s gone, the realization of what just happened rushes over me. The realization that I just fucked it all up again. There is no going back. There are no more second chances. The adrenaline courses through me, and I need to let it out. Before Ican even think about it, my fist connects with the wall, cracking the drywall, and pain radiates in my knuckles.
Fuck.
The car ride back to Jupiter Beach is nice, long, and awkward. We haven’t spoken since the hallway. I’ve gone through a million different ways how to apologize, but none of them seem good enough. None of them feel right because this time it’s going to take a lot more than “I’m sorry” to fix it. No one knows how Georgie found out. My best guess is Elizabeth was right. Noah finally had enough and told her. I know I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, but what else was I supposed to think?
Anything.
Literally anything.
Pulling into her driveway, there’s a truck parked in front of the garage, and it’s not hard to guess who it is. Elizabeth mumbles something under her breath before expelling a sigh, and I almost say something, but I swallow the words and get out of the car with a small scoff.
Elizabeth meets me at the trunk. “Josh—”
“You know, I was trying to find a way to apologize.” I refuse to look at her, pulling her bags out of the car. “To say that I’m sorry because I was wrong, and I shouldn’t have accused you. Whether you told Gigi or not, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I was going to apologize, ask you to dinner, but…” I glance toward the house, then back to her. “I see you already have plans.”
“Josh, I didn’t—”
“Lizzie!” His voice echoes around us. Every time he calls her that, it makes me cringe. Why has she not corrected him? “Finally!”
We’re still locked in a silent battle as he tromps down the steps toward us.
“I was starting to think you weren’t coming home.” Ryan laughs before turning to me. “Hey man, good to see you again. Thanks for giving her a lift.”
“Sure.” My lips curve into a tight smile before turning to Ryan. “No problem.”
“I got us a reso at Jo’s tonight,” Ryan tells her, picking up her bags and heading back up the steps. When she doesn’t follow him, he calls her, “Lizzie, you coming?”
Elizabeth stands in front of me like she’s waiting for me to say something, but what else is there to say? She’s made her choice.
“Y-yeah,” she stammers. She walks away with the man she said she wasn’t seeing anymore. The man she said she didn’t see a future with.
Climbing into the driver’s seat, I wait, like I always do, and watch to make sure she gets inside. When they make it to the front door, Ryan swings it open and steps inside, still talking, but she glances down the stairs one more time. When our eyes meet, there’s still a sense of waiting in them, and it tugs at me. The same pull on my heart from the beach, pleading with me to get out of the damn car, walk up to her, and never let her go. But the moment ends when she finally rips her gaze from mine, following his orders to come inside.
I stand there a moment longer. One part of me is screaming to march up those stairs, open the door, and remind her who she belongs with. The other part hopes that by some miracle she will walk back outside, accept my apology, and tell me she still loves me.
The doorway remains motionless.
Neither part of me wins the fight as I climb back into my car and back out of the driveway. Driving down the main drag of Jupiter Beach, I can’t help but wonder if she knew Ryan was going to be here when we arrived. Before he interrupted us, it almost sounded like she was going to say she didn’t know, but she didn’t seem all that surprised either.
I can’t say I’m that surprised. I didn’t do myself any favors with how I acted this morning. I ran her straight back into his arms when I refused to believe her or apologize for how I acted. She deserves better than that. Deserves someone who isn’t going to push her away, someone who can admit when they’re wrong and isn’t going to be afraid to tell her how they feel. Maybe Ryan doesn’t know she hates roses and maybe he calls her by the nickname she despises, but I guarantee he can offer her things like time and attention.
He can give her everything I couldn’t.
The Winchester Times
September 13, 2013
