Page 61 of Terms + Conditions
“Look at me,” I command, but she doesn’t. “Look at me when you come, Sugar.”
When her eyes meet mine, her nails dig deeper into my skin, and the rush is like nothing I’ve felt before. We’ve had great sex before, we always did, but this…this is different. Pure fire and adrenaline course through my veins. I lose every sense as I continue to dive into her over and over again. She clutches at me as I come, but even when I’m done, I continue to fuck her. I don’t want to let this feeling go.
Her fingers interlock at my nape, her nails gently grazing the skin, sending flames across my already burning flesh. I kiss her temple but don’t move so I can remain inside her. She snuggles into me, and with half-lidded eyes, I take a deep breath, letting the mix of scents fill my lungs: the smell of her shampoo, her perfume, the smell of sex and sweat, and a hint of my body wash.
“Josh,” she whispers into my neck, but I don’t pull away to look at her.
“Yeah, baby?” A kiss on her temple.
“What—what does this mean?”
I’m sure she can hear the thick swallow as it slides down my throat. Staring up at the ceiling, my fingers twirl a piece of blonde hair around them. What does this mean? I have no idea. There is still so much we need to talk about, so much we need to work through…
Doesn’t this cross a line way past being justfriends?
“What do you want it to mean?” I ask.
Elizabeth pushes up from my chest and I look up to meet her gaze. “I want you to be honest with me for once in your life. I want you to tell me what this—us—means to you.”
Everything. This means everything to me.Shemeans everything to me. But, I’m still me, and I don’t deserve this woman. The only reason we’ve been together this long is because of that fucking contract. She deserves so much better than me.
“That’s not my call, Liz. I don’t even deserve to be here. If it weren’t—”
“What are you talking about?” Elizabeth scoffs.
“I’m only here because of that damn clause.” Pulling her mouth to mine, I kiss her gently once…twice…three times.
Elizabeth plants her palm on my chest, putting a small distance between us. “You’re here because I want you here, Josh.”
“You deserve better than this, Sug. Better than me.”
“I deserve what I want, and that’s you, Josh.” Her hand reaches to cradle the side of my face and I can’t help it, I lean into her touch. Her thumb grazes my cheek before she swoops down to kiss me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
THEN
May 2022
SOMEHOW, I LET NICK talk me into coming with him to New York for an interview. It’s a Tuesday afternoon in the middle of May, and instead of being at work, I’m sitting on the patio at Raised Bistro—a restaurant on the outskirts of Central Park and Columbus Circle. His interview isn’t until tomorrow, but we got here a day early to meet with Dean Monroe, Nick’s friend from Boston University. Dean is textbook tall, dark, and handsome, as cliché as that sounds. Piercing green eyes and dusty brown hair matched with perfectly tanned skin. The kind of tan that isn’t too tan, but just the right amount. Since I met him two years ago, I’ve always wondered if it’s natural or if he goes to a tanning salon. His right arm, covered in black ink, rests comfortably behind his best friend of almost twenty years: Raeanne DeLuca.
His missing puzzle piece, he said when he introduced us an hour or so ago, but I have yet to determine if that means she is actually his girlfriend. I can’t remember him mentioning her in the past, or maybe I just assumed he didn’t have a steady girlfriend considering how many other girls he has always chased after.
Rae has natural sun-kissed skin that most girls pay hundreds of dollars for. She doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, and her dark hair falls down her shoulders in easy waves. She’s part Columbian, at least I think that’s what Nick said, and she reminds me a lot of Nina.
Dean’s hand grazes her bare shoulder while her hand rests in his lap, and she laughs along to the story Nick just finished telling about a drunken night with Dean. I think it’s the lost-in-a-Boston-suburb story, but I haven’t been listening, my mind wandering to the woman I’ve been missing for the past week. We haven’t talked much. She’s been busy being upset with me because I refused to drop everything and run off to California with her.
Rae excuses herself from the table, Nick waits for the door to close before he turns to Dean. “So, when are you gonna lock it down?”
“What?” Dean laughs.
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Rae?” Dean seems shocked, and we both give him a look as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Me and Rae? I told you, it’s not like that. She’s my best friend!”
“Who you sleep with,” Nick says.
So, not his girlfriend, but they sleep together. Friends with benefits kind of deal. Got it.
