Page 47 of Terms + Conditions
“Ten years since I rescued her on the dance floor,” I say, smiling at Elizabeth—a real, genuine smile thinking of the memory. When she meets my stare, she offers nothing in return, her gaze unreadable.
“And seeing her standing there, in that light, you knew you’d just found the woman you’d marry one day,” Georgie quotes, and Elizabeth finally smiles, hearing the rehearsed story I’ve told many times over the years. “Yes, weknow.”
“That’s not when I knew,” I say, but I never take my eyes off Elizabeth, whose face scrunches in confusion. “No, I mean, yeah, I think deep down maybe…but that wasn’t when I realized I was in love with her.”
Elizabeth rips her gaze from mine, staring into the fire, and takes a sip of her wine.
I take the opportunity to re-memorize everything about her—the two freckles on her left cheek; the way her cheeks flush from a combination of the wine and heat from the fire; the small scar (almost unnoticeable to anyone who wouldn’t know it’s there) on her neck just below her jaw from that time she begged Nina to pierce her ears because her parents wouldn’t let her; the soft, natural wave in her hair now that she keeps it short, tucked behind her ear; the reflection of the flame dancing in her eyes, still refusing to look at me; the way she clutches the ends of her long-sleeve in her left hand covering the scars of her past, andthe right dangles her glass from the edge of the couch, swirling the red liquid absentmindedly. She’s beautiful. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, with a heart of gold and a soul to match—but sometimes, it gets buried deep to protect herself from any potential hurt.
“It was her birthday. We were at the house in Savannah, decorating for Christmas. She was supposed to be studying for finals, but she called and begged me to come down and help her decorate because you girls wanted to study first and decorate later. I told her she should be doing the same, but got in the car and drove down anyway. Got there around one in the morning, but it was worth it when the door swung open, and she had the biggest smile plastered on her face.”
I notice a slight tick upwards in the left corner of her mouth.
“I begged her to please let me get some sleep, and I promised we’d get up early and get started…Well, she held me to that, woke up at eight on the dot.”
My laugh is joined by the others.
“But, that night…She was finishing up the tree, singing along to ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,’ and I walked back from the kitchen and the sight…It took my breath away. This feeling came over me. It’s hard to explain, really, but when she turned and looked at me with that smile…I knew I’d never be able to go on without her. I didn’t want to. It’d be unbearable.”
I watch as her lips curl inward, chewing on my words, turning them over and over again in her mind.
“Part of me thinks, maybe, I fall in love with her every day. There’s something new every day that reminds me of why I want this. I’m blessed to have this beautiful, amazing woman by my side…And I can’t imagine the day I have to go on without her.”
The others are too busy swooning over my words to realizewhatI just said, but not her. Not Elizabeth. She heard me loud and clear. Even though she still refuses to look at me, I can seethe tears brimming in her eyes and the way she bites her lip to hide the small quiver.
I clear my throat and the tears that have started to form in my own eyes. “I need another drink.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
NOW
“WHAT THE FUCK WASthat?” Elizabeth storms into the bedroom at the same time I come out of the bathroom. I can feel my eyes widen as she all but slams the door closed and crosses the room to jab her finger into my chest. “‘I knew I’d never be able to go on without her…I can’t imagine the day I have to.’” She scoffs. “Are you fucking kidding me? We are gettingdivorcedin a few months, or did you forget that?”
Why is she so mad? She’s the one who wanted me to play along this weekend because she didn’t want her friends to suspect anything was wrong. I was only doing what she wanted, right?
Wrong. I had crossed the line. Maybe it was that last glass of whiskey or maybe it was because I was feeling a little too sentimental, but my admission out by the firepit was not what she wanted from me this weekend. I had let my guard down a little too far and now I was facing the consequences. Now it was time to clean up that mess…
“I was just…playing along,” I say as my shoulders raise with a shrug.
“Playing along?”
“Yeah, that’s what you wanted, right? You don’t want them to suspect anything, so I was just doing what you asked.”
Elizabeth narrows her gaze before throwing her hands up with an exasperated sigh and walking into the bathroom.
“I could’ve told them the truth. Would you have preferred that?” I ask, leaning against the doorframe, meeting her glaring gaze in the mirror. “You don’t want me to act like the doting husband—”
“Because you’re not the doting husband!”
“Because you didn’t want me to be!”
“Didn’t want—” She scoffs, shaking her head. She looks up to the ceiling as if asking God the Creator for help. “Didn’twantyou to be?” Elizabeth finally turns from the mirror and storms to meet me. “You’re the one who stopped caring, Josh. You’re the one—”
“Don’t feed me that bullshit. I never stopped caring about you. You’re the one who walked out, Liz, not me.”
Elizabeth takes a step back; her tongue wets her lips before she pulls them between her teeth. Another scoff. “Sure, okay. If that’s what you need to tell yourself to feel better about this…be my guest. But I’mdone. I’m done waiting for you to wake the fuck up and realize everything you could’ve had and lost. I can’t do it anymore, Josh.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
