Page 91 of Beneath the Flames
I blew out a frustrated breath.“I don’t know, Nico.Can you drop it?”
“You don’t know if you have feelings for Rhydian?”
“No.”
“Isn’t that something youshouldknow?”It was the same question as earlier, and it crept under my skin, anger flaring in my bones.
“It’s a little more complicated than that.”It was the same answer I’d given before, but I couldn’t bring myself to give another one—to examine what thetruthwas.I shoved my hand to push the shovel farther into the ground, an ache reverberating up my arm as it hit something hard and came to an abrupt stop.
Nico couldn’t be dissuaded.“You either like him or you don’t.What’s complicated about that?”
I huffed out an annoyed breath.He was a child.He didn’t understand.
“It’s a simple yes or no.I don’t get why it’s so hard to say whether—”
“Fine, Nico!I like him, okay?Against my better judgement, I like Rhydian.Will you let it go?”
The words came easily to my lips, slipping out like they were nothing when they meant everything.I hadn’t even realized the truth in them until I’d said them out loud.
Nico’s entire face lit up, his eyes going comically wide.“You do?”
I slumped to the ground, resting my arms on my knees and putting my head against them.How had I even gotten here?He’dkidnappedme and held me in Eroth against my will.How had I come to actually like him?
“This is great!”he said, bouncing on his toes.“Once you tell Rhydian, then—”
“Excuse me?”I interrupted, my head snapping up to glare at him.“I’m not telling him anything.And neither are you.”
Nico’s face fell.“Why not?What if he likes you back?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why wouldn’t it matter?”
I threw my arms out to the sides.“Because, Nico, I’m either going to die here in Eroth, or I’m going home once the curse is broken.Either way, I’m not remaining here, which means there’s no future for Rhydian and me.That’s why.”
His face fell even further.“You wouldn’t consider staying for him?”
The words hit their mark, slicing through my suddenly aching heart.Could I abandon my family, never see them again, all for a chance at a relationship with Rhydian, a Fae I barely knew?
The answer was already made for me, I realized.Taking care of my family was more important than my happiness.
I would go home, or die trying, regardless of my feelings.I would sacrifice my desires, shove away anything I felt for Rhydian, to keep them safe.Always.Even if it made my heart feel like it was cracking in two.
The words physically pained me as I replied, “No, I wouldn’t.”
Nico went silent, his lips pressed into a firm line, and didn’t speak a single word to me as I filled up the pot and we headed back to the castle.The pot of ash was heavy, but he never complained, just hoisted it higher in his arms every so often.
I couldn’t escape the feeling that I had somehow offended him by telling the truth, but I didn’t understand why.I was about to ask him, not wanting to hurt him unintentionally, buthe nodded as we came over a hill, Shadow Ire finally in sight.
“There’s the castle.Would you mind carrying this the rest of the way?There’s something I need to do.”
I wanted to ask what it was, but I held the words back.Nico was clearly upset with me, and maybe he just needed time away from me to cool down.I watched for signs of the Scorching Rivers around the gate to make sure they weren’t going to suddenly appear and eat me, but they were strangely absent.
“Sure,” I said, taking the pot from him.
Without a word, and before I could thank him for his help, he spun on his heel and disappeared.
Maren poured the pot of ash onto the ground, marring the white marble floor of the Magmara room, then she dumped another pot of dirt that we’d taken from the garden and tossed it over the top.I had to fight a laugh as she pounced on top of the pile, mixing it together with her hands.
