Page 38 of The Summer We Mended
She smiled through the ache in her throat.“I’m ready.”
He paused, and then spoke the words he always did, the ones they’d come up with when everything started feeling too heavy and he needed her to remember something simple, something grounding.
“Keep the shore in sight.”
She closed her eyes.“Always.”
“Even when it’s dark?”
“Especially then.”
“I love you,” he said.
She swallowed.“I love you more.”
“Impossible,” he whispered.And then the line went dead.
Anna sat for a long moment, staring at the phone like it might ring again.It was so hard not to be able to talk more, not to be able to ask more questions, or sit on the phone for hours.Being a soldier’s wife was hard for a variety of reasons, but the fact that her husband was on the other side of the world without consistent communication was probably the worst.
The sun had risen fully now, bold and golden across the ocean, a reflection of fire dancing on the water.Her coffee was stone-cold.Her fingers numb.But her chest was warm.
She tipped her head back and closed her eyes.The tears came then, silent and hot, slipping down her cheeks and into the collar of her shirt.Not loud.Not broken.Just quiet tears, mourning for the loss of her father and over how much she missed her husband and feared for him.
She didn’t sob.Didn’t fall apart.
She breathed and let the tears fall, purged the sadness and the grief from her so that she could move throughout her day like she needed to.
Her therapist once told her that if you feel the urge to cry, it’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you’re ready to feel the feelings and let them go.They were life-changing words, like a permit to cry without regret.
Thirty minutes.That’s all she ever got before the world called her name.And for Anna, this was the time that she released all that was holding her down so that she could be her best self for everyone who needed her.
She wiped her face on her sleeve and stood, brushing the sand from her leg.The sky was awake now, blue and wide.The ocean was loud again, its hush replaced by the crash and tumble of waves on the shore.
Anna turned back toward the cottage.
She’d keep the shore in sight.
For Luke.
ChapterFourteen
Anna
An hour later, she was in the kitchen, humming quietly as she cracked eggs into a bowl.They’d only been here a few days, but she’d gotten into a rhythm of making breakfast after she came back in from the beach.Usually, the kids got up on their own, meandering to the living room and watching a little television before getting started on their schoolwork, but it was the weekend.
Anna kept glancing toward the hallway, half expecting her mom to come out, say she’d changed her mind.Would her mom follow through with opening the studio today?Would she get out of bed before noon and interact with the kids?
The kids were in the living room, talking quietly among each other; it was a lazy Saturday morning for them.No schoolwork, just cartoons and hushed conversation about the adventures they hoped to have that day.
Anna heard a noise behind her.She turned around and looked back to see her mother emerging from her bedroom, already dressed, hair pulled back in a neat, low bun, her hands rubbing together in that familiar, anxious way.
“You said we start today?”she asked.
Anna smiled, surprised and relieved.“I did.Are you sure you’re up for it?”
Lily nodded slowly.“No.But I want to be.”
“Well, that’s a start,” Anna grinned back at her mother.“Why don’t you sit down and eat breakfast with me and the kids, and then we’ll get started.”
