Page 33 of The Summer We Mended
“I know,” Margot said.“But you’re still here.And you’re still needed.”
Margot stepped back.“I’m sorry.That was too far.I just… I miss you, Lily.Not just being around you.I miss you beingyou.”
Lily met her eyes, and for a moment, the strength she’d always worn like a second skin cracked open, showing the raw wound underneath.Her voice trembled, but she didn’t look away.“It’s not right that the rest of the world kept on moving when my entire world stopped when David died.It’s not fair, and I won’t apologize for trying to figure out how to live without him, even if I’m doing it poorly.”
The silence between them was thick, and Lily tried so hard to keep the tears at bay.She cursed her emotions and shook her head.She hated that she cried when she was mad.Margot walked slowly over to the table and sat down across from her.
“You don’t have to apologize,” she said softly.“But you don’t have to do it alone, either.”
Lily blinked hard and looked away, swallowing the lump rising in her throat.She traced the rim of her coffee mug with a finger.“Some days I can’t tell if I’m grieving or just forgetting how to be alive.”
“Both,” Margot said simply.“And that’s okay.You’ve always been the person who took care of everyone else, but you fight everyone who tries to do the same for you.There isn’t any weakness associated with asking for help.”
Lily heard the words coming out of her best friend’s mouth, but she wasn’t really listening to her.She had always been the strong one, the one taking care of everyone else, but she felt like no one had even attempted to do the same for her.She knew it wasn’t true, really, but she’d felt abandoned and so alone after David died.
Lily and Margot sat for a while, trying to think about what to say next.The house was too quiet, and Lily felt like the walls were closing in on her.She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.For the past year she’d let those walls close in on her, let everything pull her under, but she knew that she couldn’t do that anymore.
Eventually, she exhaled slowly and stood.
“I’m not going to the church dinner.And I’m not ready for the fundraiser.But… I’ll think about it.”
Margot gave a small nod.“That’s all I ask.”
Lily turned to refill her coffee.She wasn’t ready to step fully back into the world.But she’d opened the door just a crack and for now, that was enough.
“You told me once that when I didn’t know what else to do, I just had to put one foot in front of the other.”
“I remember.”
“I think you should listen to your own advice,” Margot said with a soft smile.
She didn’t say anything more, but Margot stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight.Lily let herself be held and let herself rest in that space of understanding for just a moment longer.
“I feel like I made a mess of things.”
“Nothing we can’t fix.”Margot smiled back at her.
ChapterTwelve
Anna
Anna pushed open the door to the garage to what was once her mother’s pottery studio.It was her special space, and where Anna had spent the most time learning about pottery from her mother.
Lily had such a gift and such a big vision for her pottery, and it wasn’t long until the garage couldn’t handle all the work she was putting out or the classes that she wanted to give.David was searching high and low for a bigger place for her.His father had mentioned giving the boathouse to them, but that Henry needed to okay it.He passed away before that could happen.
“David, do you have a minute?”Anna had heard her Uncle Henry ask after her grandfather’s funeral.
“Of course,” her father had answered.He gestured for his brother to follow him outside to their front porch.
Anna knew she shouldn’t follow, but she couldn’t help it.She’d heard stories of siblings getting into huge fights after the death of a parent.She wanted to have her dad’s back if it came to that.Not like she could do much at the age of fourteen, but she didn’t want to admit that.
Anna had gone to the front window and opened it slowly, careful not to make it noticeable.
“I don’t know what Pop’s will is going to say, but I know that it doesn’t matter to me.I want you to have the boathouse,” Henry said.
David was quiet for a moment.He cleared his throat and then spoke.“Henry, I can buy you out or…I can’t…”
Anna could hear the emotion in her father’s voice.
