Page 7 of The Summer We Mended
“She’s out there living a life without us close by, David.Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Not a bit,” he said with a wide smile.“It’s the same thing I told you with Cody.Do I miss her?Of course.But I know that we raised our kids right and well, and I know that she picked the best husband she could.Luke isn’t going to let anything happen to her.They’ll always be just a phone call or a flight away.”
“What do we do without them here?What about when she has babies and…”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself, sweetheart,” he said with that deep chuckle of his.“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, okay?For now, let the baby birds fly away from the nest and focus on taking care of yourself.”
“I worry about Luke and Cody in the military.What if…what if something happens to them?”
“You had those same worries with me, and I was safe the whole time.Luke will be, too.And so will Cody.”
She nodded, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.He kissed the top of her head, and she inhaled his scent.For whatever reason, the feel of his arms wrapped around her and the pine scent that defined him always made her feel at peace.
Lily wrapped her arms around herself, trying to mimic the feel of David’s arms around her, but it wasn’t the same.Since losing David, Lily had shut herself off from the world.
Luke and Anna had been to a lot of different places in his almost twenty years in the Air Force.They started in Colorado, then went to Wyoming, Mississippi, and settled in Virginia at Langley AFB for the last few years.It was hard for Lily to have her daughter so far away.
“Is Anna coming for a visit?”Cody asked softly.
Lily jumped, forgetting that he was there.“Sort of.It may be a little longer than a normal visit.Luke was deployed and she doesn’t know much, just that she wants to come back here while he’s gone.”
“Oh, this is the best place for her and the twins,” he said softly.
Lily nodded.Cody had struggled after David’s death, too.He had always talked about being a lifetime Marine and retiring as a soldier, but after his father’s death, he had gotten out when the time came and returned to the Vineyard.He had ended his longtime relationship with Nessa and started a new job working from home.He tried to stop by and visit her as much as possible, but it was clear that he was sad and overly worried about his mother.
Lily knew this, but there wasn’t anything she could do to help his pain.Especially not when she couldn’t stop her own grief.
Maybe having Anna and the kids here would be good for all of them.Lord knew that Lily needed something or someone to keep her mind off the grief that was consuming her.Maybe having Anna in the house and being forced to focus on the twins would help to keep her head above water long enough so that she could get back to feeling more like a human rather than a zombie.
ChapterTwo
Lily
The next morning, Lily lay motionless in her bed, the thin sunlight leaking through the cracked edge of the bedroom curtains.Her back ached from sleeping in the same curled position she always fell into: one arm wrapped tightly around the extra pillow, the other stretched out across the cold mattress where David used to lie.It had been more than a year, but every morning still began with the cruel reminder that he was gone.
It was almost as if she woke up every morning with that thin hope that it had all been a bad nightmare and that she’d reach across the bed and feel him.Every morning, she’d just keep reaching until the pain wrapped around her heart and continued to hold her hostage.
She blinked slowly, her eyes gritty.The quiet of the house no longer soothed her.It pressed in on her instead, filled with echoes of what used to be.David’s laughter over morning coffee, the clink of mugs, and the radio playing old jazz music while he danced her around the kitchen.Now, there was just the hum of the refrigerator and the relentless ticking of the clock.
Lily hadn’t cleaned in over a week…maybe longer.She’d lost track.She had every intention of waking up every morning and making a change, of pushing down all the emotions and taking control of her life, but she never did.She’d always wake up every morning with the grief swallowing her whole, and she didn’t quite know how to get out of that loop.In the meantime, she got out of bed only when she had to, and even that sometimes felt like a betrayal, like living meant moving on.And she wasn’t sure that she wanted to do either.
With a heavy sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood.The hardwood was cold beneath her bare feet.She shuffled through the hall toward the kitchen, wincing at the mess as if seeing it for the first time.
Fast food wrappers littered the counters: crumpled bags from Captain’s Catch and grease-stained boxes from the Clam Shack.Empty soda cans were stacked haphazardly near the sink, which was overflowing with dishes.The smell of sour milk and rotting food was faint but undeniable.Trash bulged from the can, a banana peel dangling like a surrender flag.
Lily pressed her fingers to her temples.The mess felt too big.Every room in the house carried reminders.David’s shoes were still in the entryway, dusty and untouched.His mug, cracked but still whole, sat by the kitchen window.She didn’t know where to start, and the thought of starting anywhere made her breathing become ragged.
When had she fallen into this trap of being a shell of the person she once was?When David was alive, there was never a dirty dish in the sink, and the house had always been spotless.Now, now it was too much of a mess to wrap her brain around.
When the knock came, sharp and sudden, her heart nearly stopped.She froze, pulse hammering in her ears.
Anna.The kids.
She hadn’t expected them this soon.Her stomach twisted as she looked around at the chaos.Panic set in.What would Anna think?What would the twins see?
Another knock.Then, the creak of the door.
“Lil?You home?”
