Page 16 of The Summer We Mended
When Anna had come to the bedroom, she’d made up a lie about a migraine.She needed something to explain why she didn’t want to get out of bed, why she couldn’t.
People were more likely to understand a migraine and less the reality that grief kept pulling her under every chance it got.
It was nearly noon when Lily finally swung her legs over the side of the bed.Her head pounded, but it was from the quick movement.She wanted to close her eyes again, curl up under the covers, and go back to her dream about David.
The blinds were still drawn tight, cloaking the room in a sleepy gray light.The ache in her joints made her groan quietly as she stood.She didn’t need a mirror to know she looked as tired as she felt.Her body hurt almost as much as her heart did.
Beyond the door, bright and persistent, the twins’ laughter danced through the old cottage.Lily closed her eyes for a moment and just listened.The twins were up, alive with the sort of energy that only children had, or maybe the sort only children gave freely to the world before life dulled its edges.
“Do you think there’ll be crabs this time?”Blaze asked.
“There was last time!And remember the horseshoe shell we found?I still have it,” Nora said excitedly.“I want to find one of those birds with the funny red beaks.You know, the ones Mom said were endangered.”
“I want a turtle,” Blaze announced.“A real one.Not a shell.A real, live turtle.Maybe it could live in Grandma’s bathtub.”
Nora giggled.“Ew, Blaze!Her bathroom would smell so bad.”
“Only if he poops a lot.”
“Where would we shower?”Nora asked.
“With him,” Blaze giggled.
More laughter echoed, bouncing off the kitchen tile and walls, flooding the hallway.Lily couldn’t help the small smile that tugged the corners of her mouth.Even through the fog in her head, the sound of her grandchildren filled something hollow inside her.It felt nice that they could be happy in a house that had felt paused for so long.David would love hearing their laughter.He would be in there with them, teasing and playing with them.He was much better at that than her.The thought made her stomach tighten with emotion.
“Mom,” Nora called, her voice a singsong from the other room.“Can we go now?Pleeeease?You said we could go to the beach this morning.”
“It’s not even morning anymore,” Blaze chimed in.
Anna replied, her voice muffled but patient.“I know, babies.We will.Just give me a little more time, okay?”
Lily exhaled slowly and reached for the sweatshirt tossed at the foot of her bed.It was one of David’s old hoodies, his favorite Harvard sweatshirt that was worn and faded from years of use.Wearing it made her feel close to him, like he was hugging her.Lily’s limbs felt like lead, but she shrugged into it, moving slowly, purposefully.She hadn’t meant to sleep so late.She hadn’t meant to stay curled up in the dark with her grief for company.
She showered slowly, letting the warm water loosen the stiffness in her shoulders and rinse the weight from her.She didn’t bother with makeup but brushed out her hair and twisted it back with a clip.She dressed in soft linen pants and a chambray button-up, old but clean.
When she stepped into the living room twenty minutes later, sunlight poured into the space.The windows had been opened, allowing the briny Vineyard air to drift in, carrying with it the distant crash of waves and the cries of gulls.The sunshine in the house, the smell of the sea, it all felt foreign to her, but it also felt nice.
She stopped and stared at the windows for a minute.She’d forgotten that the curtains and windows even opened.She’d wanted them all closed for so long, because she didn’t want anyone to come visit her or see her in this state.
She shook her head before she looked around the living room.Blaze and Nora were sprawled on the floor, flipping through an old field guide to sea life.Anna stood at the counter, pouring coffee, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head.
“Hey,” Lily said softly.
Three heads turned.Blaze jumped up first, barreling into her with all the force of a nine-year-old boy.Nora followed, more restrained but no less enthusiastic.
“Grandma!”Blaze beamed up at her.“We thought you were hibernating.”
“Like a bear,” Nora added.
“I’m not quite that ferocious,” Lily smiled, ruffling Blaze’s hair.She looked over at Anna, whose expression was carefully neutral but whose eyes gave away the concern she was trying to suppress.
“You okay?”Anna asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Lily lied, but gently.“Bit of a migraine this morning.It’s passed now.”
Anna nodded and sipped her coffee.She didn’t press.
Lily cleared her throat.“I heard something about the beach.”
