Page 14 of Coming Home for Fall 4
“I know.”
She straightened up and furrowed her brow. “You know?”
“Well—uh—I remember that you didn’t go with anyone. I saw you at one point standing at the back of the room by yourself. I thought it was crazy nobody had asked you to go with them.”
Mallory face flushed. “Why—what do you mean?”
“Because you were so cool in high school.”
Mallory snorted and threw her head back. “I wasnot.”
“What’re you talking about?” James waved a hand, dismissing her comment. “Of course you were cool! You were always doing your own thing, and you didn’t care what people thought about you. That's the definition of cool. I always really admired the way you just… went on your own path.”
“Yeah, a path that meant I almost didn’t graduate…” Mallory sunk into her seat, rubbing her glass with her thumb. “A path thatdidlead me to a series of dead-end jobs and no money.” She sighed, regretting her own honesty. “I just mean… I wasn’t cool. I was lost. I still am.”
James was quiet for a moment. “Well… I think everyone was at least a little lost back in those days.”
“You weren’t,” she said with a critical tone. “At least, you didn’t seem lost. If I remember correctly, you were the top of our class, valedictorian, and then you went off to MIT to study computer science. You knew what you wanted to do from day one, right?”
James sighed. “Yeah… mostly… I’m not sure that having everything planned out at such a young age is a good thing either.”
“Go on. I’m dying to know how getting a full ride to MIT didn’t set you up for success.”
“Alright, fine. I’ll tell you,” he said with a laugh. “Yes, I was given a scholarship for MIT, but that just covered tuition. My aunt didn’t have any money to give me for living expenses or things like that. I ended up having to take out a couple private loans because the program was too demanding to keep a part-time job. At the time, I thought that I’d be able to pay everything back soon after graduating, since I was planning on getting a well-paid job in Silicon Valley or something. Then, my aunt’s health took a nose-dive, and I ended up moving back here right after I finished my degree. It took me fifteen years to pay off those loans because of their high interest rates, and the fact that there weren’t nearly as many high-paying computer jobs in Ferndale at the time.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your aunt,” she said, her voice tinged with sympathy. “I hadn’t realized her health was that bad.”
“Unfortunately, it’s only gotten worse.” He looked down at his lap for a moment and then cleared his throat before meeting her gaze again. “But the reason I even bring all this up is just to prove that even the best laid out plans can fall apart. Sure, I had everything figured out, or so I thought… then life threwa monkey wrench into everything. For a while, I also felt really lost.”
Mallory leaned back into the vinyl booth cover, his words settling over her. As the designated family misfit, she’d always believed that everyone around her had far more control over their lives than she did. But in this moment, for once, it was like the clouds had parted and she was seeing the world through a new lens. Of course, she’d made a lot of poor decisions that led to her having to move back home in her late thirties without a penny to her name, but that didn’t mean she was the only one struggling. She wasn’t the only one who didn’t have everything figured out.
“I didn’t mean to bring the mood down,” James said, glancing down at his hands.
“Huh? Oh, no. You didn’t!” She waved her hands, giving him a reassuring smile when he met her gaze again. “I appreciate you saying all that. And in case no one told you, it’s admirable that you came back here to take care of your aunt. Not everyone would do that.”
James shook his head. “It was the least I could do. My Aunt Miranda raised me after my parents passed away when I was a baby. She’s the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met, and I honestly just wish there was more that I could do to help her. She’s in a lot of pain… especially these days.”
“What—what does she have?” she asked timidly. “If you don’t mind me asking...”
“Rheumatoid arthritis,” he said. “And emphysema. But her arthritis is what causes her the most trouble. It’s gotten so bad, she can hardly uncurl her fingers anymore.”
Mallory let out a loud gasp and then covered her mouth. “Sorry,” she said, pushing her drink aside. “I didn’t mean to have such a dramatic reaction, it just… I guess I didn’t realize howmuch help she needed. If she can’t uncurl her fingers, then you must have to do… everything for her.”
James took a beat and then nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We have a nurse that comes and helps out when I’m at work or whatever, but mostly it’s me.”
Mallory’s expression softened with sympathy. “That sounds really hard.”
“It’s… not easy.” He smiled sadly. “That’s another reason I want to go all out for this Thanksgiving, because I think it might be the last one she’ll be able to enjoy in her house. If things keep going the way they’ve been the last year or so, she’ll have to be moved into a home.”
Mallory could see the emotion welling in James’s eyes. She wanted to reach out or say something comforting, but she didn’t know what to do. She’d never experienced the turmoil that comes with putting a loved one into a home, so she bit her tongue and decided to listen instead.
“I’m really torn though,” he said. “On the one hand, I know I can’t provide her with the care she needs. But on the other hand, it’s hard to think about just sticking her in a home, you know? She could’ve handed me over to the state when my parents died, gotten rid of me without a second thought, but she didn’t. So how can I get rid of her?”
“No, this is different,” Mallory said. “If you decide to put your aunt in a home, it’s because you want to do what’s best for her. She’ll understand, and I’m sure you’ll visit her all the time. She might even make some new friends there!”
“I hope so.” James released a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. “But nothing’s set in stone right now. Her doctor wants to try putting her on a different medication soon, so maybe that’ll make a big difference, and I can keep caring for her.” He chuckled under his breath. “Even though my aunt keeps asking to be put in a home.”
“Really?” Mallory lifted her drink and took a small sip. “Why does she want to be put in a home?”
